May 31, 2011
TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE RETURN OF SUMMER WEATHER TO DEE CEE
10. No need to guess about who's wearing deodorant.
9. Walking out of building good training for eventual arrival at gates of hell.
8. Renewed opportunity for Metro to run ad campaign featuring Paris Hilton saying, "That's hot!"
7. Warm updrafts increase chances of catching opponent home run ball crushed out of Nats Park without paying to get in to game.
6. Exploring the latest trends in creative tattooing.
5. Won't stub your toe on frozen gum on sidewalk.
4. Skipping lunch run because it's too hot out is an easy diet technique.
3. What could be more fun than a crowd of tourons jamming the sidewalk in front of an ice cream shop?
2. Just remember how much you bitched about the cold last winter, mister.
1. It's sweat-o-licious!
Brunette Birthday Series Rolls On
Brooke Shields is 46. IMHO, she can't act her way out of a paper bag, but who cares?
May 30, 2011
May 27, 2011
". . . The Last Full Measure of Devotion. . ."
For your consideration on this Memorial Day weekend, the timeless words of the sixteenth President:
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Fly our flag this weekend, at the top of the mast.
May 25, 2011
Gratuitous Nats Posting
Forehead? Meet desktop!
I'm not sure how much more poor Robbo can take of watching the Nats find ways to blow leads and lose ballgames. It's doing absolutely no good for my heart, my digestion, my liver or my soul. And my next-morning post mortems are turning the Llama-ettes into a gang of disillusioned cynics.
C'mon, you guys!
UPDATE: Well, I suppose the advantage of losing a day game is that I don't have to stay up late watching the disaster. Diane, get your broom 'cos the Brewskies just swept us.
May 24, 2011
Random Commuter Observations
Saw a car this morning with tags that read "NJ ROOTS".
Reminds me of a passage from A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, in which Pseudolus and Hero are discussing Hero's new love interest:
Pseudolus (in disgust): A common courtesan in the house of Lycus.
Hero: Is that bad?
Pseudolus: There's no way to make it sound like an achievement!
Some things are best kept quiet. Ya' know?
May 23, 2011
Random Commuter Observation
Yes, the rumors are true: Over the weekend, realizing that the ol' Cherokee was about on her last legs, Orgle Manor went out and leased a Honda Odyssey.
I could hear the LMC laughing all the way from the vast, yet secure, holdings of Fort LMC, hundreds of miles away though it may be. All I can say is that he was assimilated first.
May 18, 2011
Gratuitous Nats Posting
I'm guessing that tonight's game up at Noo Yawk is going to get rained out, which is a shame because I was looking forward to watching the Nats kybosh the Mets.
ME AND MY BIG MOUTH UPDATE: I was surprised that the game was played at all and even more surprised that it wasn't called in the 6th when the monsoon started.
Well, there's an "O" in "D'oh!" but none in the Nats. Good pitching, good defense, but crickets at the plate. Story of the season so far.
Trust The Llamas To Tackle The Big Issues Of The Day
Last evening I watched Charlie's Angels. Why? Because it was there.
I just don't get the Cameron Diaz thing. She's got the eyes of a shying horse and the smile of a crocodile. As for Drew Barrymore, well, I give her a bye because of her family name, but otherwise a distinct meh.
Now Lucy Liu, on the other hand......
And because LL Cool J happened to have a part in the movie, and because my mind works this way, I now have no choice put to toss into the Netflix que Deep Blue Sea, the one with the sooper-smart sharks and Saffron Burrows.
May 17, 2011
Gratuitous Pop Cultchah Observation
If anybody ever gets round to doing a remake of A Clockwork Orange, in the scene where Alex gets strapped in the chair with his eyelids stuck open, he ought to be made to watch this.
There's your twisted psych experiment, right there.
May 16, 2011
Fearless LMC 2012 Prediction
The LMC presidential-pick approach (vote strictly on hotness) goes viral and triggers a sea change in American politics. Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin split the delegate vote and the nomination is decided in a brokered convention by the South Carolina delegation. Nikki Haley is the nominee with Michele as her running mate. The pair run on: "Younger, Smarter, and Hotter"--the tipping point in the fall campaign is the vice-presidential debate where Michele wipes the floor with Biden. The blowout is so complete that momentum in the Senate races shifts to the GOP who sweep every open seat. Republicans take control of the Senate and Mitch McConnell, his work restoring the Republican majority done, hands the gavel to Marco Rubio. Lisa Murkowski, unable to face a majority dominated by the Tea Party, unexpectedly resigns and is replaced in a special election by Sarah Palin--assisted by President Haley, Vice President Bachmann and the future commissioner of the NFL, Condi Rice.
Yours truly becomes one of the most sought-after speakers in recent history, but grants no interviews. "Unauthorized" biographies are written, old girlfriends unearthed, and derogatory pop psychological profiles are done on MSNBC. Blondes and redheads go brunette, birth control becomes passe, and large families make a comeback in numbers not seen since the 1950s. Mrs. LMC finally gets the house she wants, but only because I was unfortunate enough to deploy again and leave her with a general power of attorney.
Fearless Llama 2012 Prediction
For those of you asking, "Tom, what do you think is going to happen next year?" here is my guess based on the present state of play:
BHO wins a close reelection more or less by default, the senate flips and we have four years of stalemate.
Want another prediction? This leaves the way wide open for a GOP rock star in 2016.
There you have it.
May 13, 2011
Random Commuter Observations - Eternal Verities Division
I know I have said this many times before, but I'm going to say it again: Murrland drivers are insane.
Not necessarily aggressive, mind you. Not reckless, per se. Simply bat-shite crazy. No matter where they may be - on the highway, on a side street, in a parking lot - you take your eye off a car with Murrland plates on it at your extreme peril, because you simply never, ever know what the driver of said car is going to do next.
I remind all you friends of the Llama of this again today because as I followed a car with Murrland plates along the streets leading into town from Orgle Manor, the driver suddenly decided to stop for a green light. Yep, just stopped. For no reason whatever. And then, when I beeped at him and waived him forward, he looked mildly surprised.
May 12, 2011
Random Commuter Observations - Saving Face Division
What with the heavy, heavy pollen 'round here these days, I have been going back and forth between contacts and glasses. The former, with all the irritation they cause, make me look like a distraught drug addict. The latter, with their thick lenses and nerdy frames, make me look like a poindexter.
Either way, remember that I'm squinting, not scowling.
May 11, 2011
Random Commuter Observation - Unclear On The Concept Division
This morning, the nooz blurb on the radio featured a bit about a bill introduced in the Senate to do away with tax breaks for "Big Oil." The fellah sponsoring it said, as best as I can approximate the quote, "I think that it isn't right that these companies should continue to be able to use government money, the American people's money, in order to further enhance their own businesses."
Look, I've got no brief for the oil industry, but I feel that I just can't let this kind of talk go by without saying something. So allow me to modify the words of the great John Big-Booty in order to make a point here, Senator: It ain't yer goddam money, monkey-boy!
Taxes are what we all (well, some of us) necessarily chip in to help make sure there are cops on the beat and the military has something to shoot with. But those taxes do not represent "the guv'mint's" money, or "the People's" money: In the end, those cuts still come out of our coin, yours and mine, that we earned. Uncle only has the right to take what is minimally necessary to do the things that need to be done.
To see it the other way round, to believe that these readies are somehow Uncle's ab origio, to be doled out or withheld as Uncle sees fit based on Uncle's perceptions of who is or is not worthy, well, that's just an abomination, that is.
Brunette Birthday Series Rolls On
Today's feature is LMC fav Martha Quinn, the first and the greatest, of the MTV VJ's. Here she is, in some small screen work:
The vid that started it all:
H/T to faithful reader rjb, who reminded me of the orginal artist.
May 10, 2011
Hobbits and Baseball - What's Not To Love?
Regular friend-o-the-llamas ChrisN sends along a linkie to a fantastic NY Times correction.
The mistake seems to have been made originally by Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey, which is about what you would expect, but as ChrisN says, you'd think the Grey Lady would know better. (Next they'll be saying that Glamdring was carried by Gwaihir the Windlord!)
Oh, speaking of linkies, thankee to all of you who sent along the LlamaFont thingie, including most recently the lovely and talented Sarah G. I would have posted a suitable response using said font, but I can't figure out how to cut n' paste it. Yip! Yip!
May 09, 2011
Random Commuter Observation
On the back of some sporty little Euro-car this morning, I spotted a license plate that read, "AMY DO".
My immediate reaction was, "Oh, do she, indeed?" I should think that the same thought would occur to a fairly large proportion of her fellow travelers.
Of course, I've no idea whether such reaction was intended by said Amy, or whether the plate means something else completely and the, ah, suggestiveness simply didn't occur to her (the driver appeared to be blond - just sayin'). Either way, can't be a good thing.
But then again, we seem to be living in an age in which young ladies are now supposed to dress up as sluts in order to prove that they aren't. The math on that one is, frankly, quite beyond me, so maybe ol' Amy's logic is, too.
Brunette Birthday Series Rolls On
Rosario Dawson is 32:
Signature flicks: Men in Black and Sin City.
Because blonde is so yesterday.
May 08, 2011
In Honor of Recent Events
concerning the demise of a bad guy, attributed to sudden onset of acute lead poisoning (with kinetic complications, of course):
May 07, 2011
Game, Set, Match
Condi Rice and Lawrence O'Donnell on MSNBC via Hot Air. O'Donnell uses all the Move On talking points but Rice swats him down. Money quote: "what you know today can affect what you do tomorrow, but what you know today cannot change what you did yesterday." Our gal goes on to point out that if humanitarian reasons justify intervention today in Libya, an even stronger humanitarian reason existed to intervene in Iraq.
May 06, 2011
UN High Commissioner for Human Rights questions the bid Laden raid. Via Fox. Let's see: admitted mastermind behind terrorist attacks against Americans in North America, Africa, and the Middle East, a man who proudly proclaims he is waging "holy war" against America, is killed in a raid by military forces, and some busybody at the U.N. questions the legality of it. Time to pull the plug on the U.N.
May 05, 2011
Headline of the Day
Really, didn't anybody think to sort this stuff out before going public?
May 04, 2011
Gratuitous Lunchtime Observation
I couldn't help noticing today (this being the first time I've been there this week), that my local Potbelly's sammich shop is sporting a big U.S. Navy flag over the counter.
Have I mentioned before the good quality sammiches at very reasonable prices offered at Potbelly's?
May 03, 2011
Tories Win Majority in Canada
167 seats out of 302 in Parliament. Bloc Quebecois drops to 4.
May 02, 2011
"Justice Has Been Done"
May 01, 2011
The Archbishop of Chicago indefintely suspended the Rev. Michael Pfleger. Via Michelle Malkin. Fr. Pfleger is a left-wing nut who should have been benched a long time ago. (By way of full disclosure, I think I ran into the guy on a trip to Chicago in 2006--I travelled to the Windy City to advise a client appearing before a federal grand jury. I just left the federal building on my way to the airport and ran into a priest in Roman collar haranguing passers-by about the evils of the Iraq invasion. The priest was in a bitter shouting match with a man I took to be a vet. I continued on my way and remembered the incident when BHO II started his run for the presidentcy. Memory can be a tricky thing so I can't swear it was Pfleger but the incident fits the good father's profile. My only question is why it took the cardinal as long as it did.)