Gratuitous Thanksgiving Holiday Travel Observation

It really bothers me that the Winston-Salem, NC Marriott feels compelled to provide printed instructions to its guests regarding the operation of its bathtub faucets.

I mean: Pull the knob and twist it left or right depending on how hot you want the water. It isn't rocket science, my friends.

Cranberry sauce

Real (homemade) or artficial (processed)? Discuss the pros and cons.

Speaking of brunettes . . .

This one is for Robbo:

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Exorcising the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Time to share your favorite method of dealing with girlfriends long gone but who refuse to be forgotten. My favorite method, return the call/e-mail and hit them out of the gate with the fact I am married, kids, etc. and be sure to add that I have never been happier, which would include the time I was with them. What works for you?

Because we are not even close to being done

with Babes Over Forty and I have a thing for brunettes, so let's say hello to Julia Ormond, age 43:

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Christmas trees

Real or artificial? Discuss.

It is a wonderful life

here at the post headquarters, located amidst the vast real estate holdings which comprise Fort LMC. We hosted the Thanksgiving wingding for the LMC clan, 26 of whom showed up for the party. The bird was cooked successfully, meaning it fried turkey, not turkey flambe which would require the last minute addition of the Virginia Beach Fire Department to the guest list. The assembled throng consumed vast quantities of adult beverages, yet no one uttered anything which required apologies upon sober reflection. Last night we travelled in the LMC staff car to attend the lighting of the city Christmas tree and the lights of the Town Center and Christmas parade after which we retired to the post headquarters. Last night featured the latest from Netflix by gas firelight, doing our best to consume fossil fuels and keep the good folks at Dominion Gas happy. Today, the Christmas decorations went up with the only snag being how to wire the lights on the tree so that all will light. All in all, not too bad. Hope all is well and that you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Reagan's 1985 Thanksgiving greeting

From NRO:

Happy Thanksgiving From The Llamas!

***Stickied to the top for the next few days.***

I don't know how much posting there's going to be around here for the next few days, so let me wish all of you a safe and joyous Thanksgiving here and now.

I don't have a particular message formulated in my braims at the moment (other than that the woman in Rockwell's painting must have the arms and shoulders of a prize-fighter to hold the bird like that), but in years past Steve-O has always had something thoughtful to say. I happen to know that at this very moment he's busy cooking, and I quote, "apple butter waffles for the kids" and "a big batch of cranberry mustard." So perhaps he'll have some time to drop in here and do things proper.

Yip! Yip! Yip!

Give thanks for dogs

I came across a post today on NR about how a geriatric pointer from the pound pulled the author's father out of depression in his last years. She kept him going, got him out of the house and meeting people. The dog alerted the author when her father died in his sleep and then the pointer herself died three days later, curled up by her master's bed. The point was that dogs sometimes come to us when we need them most.

One of my friends talked me into looking at a female boxer up for adoption twelve years ago when I really had no intention of getting a dog. I was single, lived on a farm, had gone from the comfort of a salaried job in a law firm to a brutal eat-what-you-kill system. Life was scraping the bottom and the last thing I needed was another recurring expense. I had every intention of looking at the pooch, saying something like: "not quite what I am looking for" and sliding out. The dog had other plans. She was a solid block of high energy muscle, tipping the scales at seventy pounds, big brown eyes, a massive underbite, and tongue that was at least two inches too long for her mouth. In two minutes, she had her paws on my shoulders and was licking my face.

Needless to say, I signed up and Janna was my constant companion for the next seven years. She had a quirky personality and a unique look--one that caused KMR to refer to her as either: "That freak of nature" or "that butch lesbian dog of yours." Janna went through a phase where she would react to a doorbell only if it was from a TV commercial. She was a bed hog and hated the ironing board, the vaccum, and any flyswatter for reasons known only to her. On the other hand, Janna would fight any dog coming after me, no matter the size. She had a degree of loyalty I had not seen before in a dog, or since.

At the end, her decline was swift. She developed an inoperable mass in her head which triggered seizures. The vet prescribed phenobaritol but eventually the drugs could not mask the symptoms and we had to take that last ride to the vet's office. On the way home, it occurred to me that she joined me at one of the lowest points of my life and kept me company through moves, job changes, and an uneven social life that eventually brought Mrs. LMC and me together, marriage, and our first child. That boxer kept me company as my life went from the bottom to the top and I am thankful for that noble creature.

"Shut Up," He Explained

Spike has been running the Star Wars prequels this week. The night before last, God help me, I sat through Attack of the Clones. Although I came for Natalie Portman's abs, I stayed for the train-wreck that is the later George Lucas output.

Mesmerized by the awfulness to which the series descended, I actually made up my mind to try and catch Revenge of the Sith last evening. However, it would seem that my guardian angel was putting in some overtime: turns out the moovie ran in an earlier time-slot than on previous evenings, and by the time I wandered into the basement it was nearly over. As Darth Ani might have said (in fact, did say): "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

(That scene never fails to produce the guffaws, btw. Something tells me this is not what ol' George had in mind.)

Aaaaanyway, I mention all of this to explain why it was that after surfing around for a few minutes, I came to rest on the Stephen Colbert Show. Which gave me ample excuse to say here what I've wanted to say for a long time: This man is not funny. He's an arrogant, condescending prick. ("But Tom," you might be thinking to your collective selves, "Um, so are you." Hush.) There's nothing wrong with skewering your target. But there's something about implying that your audience are a pack of drooling, inbred, knuckle-dragging mo-rons if they don't agree with you that absolutely rubs me the wrong way.

Also, that whole eye-brow thing gets real stale after about two seconds.

Ah! I feel much better for having got that out.

BTB, Colbert had Paul Simon on last night. Simon, shall we say, has not aged particularly well. He had the look of a guy who wanders around bus stations checking the payphones for loose change and muttering about the CIA following him.

Santa Klaus Is Coming To Town

From the International Herald Tribune: A Fiery Czech Is Poised To Be The Face Of Europe.

PRAGUE: In the 1980s, a Communist secret police agent infiltrated clandestine economics seminars hosted by Vaclav Klaus, a fiery future leader of the Czech Republic, who had come under suspicion for extolling free market virtues. Rather than reporting on Marxist heresy, the agent was most struck by Klaus's now famous arrogance.

"His behavior and attitudes reveal that he feels like a rejected genius," the agent noted in his report, which has since been made public. "He shows that whomever does not agree with his views is stupid and incompetent."

Decades later, Klaus, the 67-year-old president of the Czech Republic — an iconoclast with a perfectly clipped mustache — continues to provoke strong reactions. He has blamed what he calls the misguided fight against global warming for contributing to the international financial crisis, branded Al Gore an "apostle of arrogance" for his role in that fight, and accused the European Union of acting like a Communist state.

Now the Czech Republic is about to assume the rotating presidency of the European Union and there is palpable fear that Klaus will embarrass the world's biggest trading bloc and complicate its efforts to address the economic crisis and expand its powers. His role in the Czech Republic is largely ceremonial, but he remains a powerful force here, has devotees throughout Europe and delights in basking in the spotlight.

"Oh God, Vaclav Klaus will come next," read a recent headline in the Austrian daily Die Presse, in an article anticipating the havoc he could wreak in a union of 470 million people already divided over its future direction.

Read the rest. Anyone who can cause the IHT and their Eurocrat buddies to get their panties in a wad is a nifty gifty in my book.

This ought to be goooooooooood.

From NRO today

comes this from Jay Nordlinger:

Sometime in the late ’70s, Norman Mailer came to Zellerbach Hall at UC-Berkeley to give a talk. The place was sold out. This was during the period when he was writing pieces refuting Germaine Greer. He walked onstage wearing cowboy boots, Levis, and a shirt and jacket . . . and he had a rolling sort of John Wayne gait.

And the most spine-chilling hiss arose from the audience. It lasted ten seconds. I’d never heard anything like it before, and I haven’t since. It was authentic and deeply felt. And when it subsided, Mailer leaned into the microphone and said, softly, “Obedient bitches.”

Simple Pleasures

Robbo and family will be traveling down to my brother's house for Thanksgiving this year. He, along with his wife and three kids, lives in the Winston-Salem NC area.

I suddenly resolved the other day that instead of fighting the horrendous I-95 down from Dee Cee and then heading west on I-85 at Richmond, I instead was going to cut the corner by taking Route 29 by way of Charlottesville, Lynchburg and Danville. This route is actually shorter, it hugs the Blue Ridge most of the way and there should be a good deal less traffic.

I find that I'm genuinely excited about this plan. Whether it's a function of my age, my sex, some other eccentricity or a combination of all of them I don't know, but the feeling is there nonetheless.

More Mixed Weather Posting

I see where some Weather Channel people, including the entire "Forecast Earth" group, are getting the axe:

The layoffs affected about 80 people, but left the long-term leadership of the network unclear, according to a source who requested anonymity due to the continuing uncertainty at the station.

Among the meteorologists who was let go was Dave Schwartz, a Weather Channel veteran and a viewer staple due to his lively on camera presentations. USA Today reported that meteorologists Cheryl Lemke and Eboni Deon were also let go.

The timing of the Forecast Earth cancellation was ironic, since it came in the middle of NBC's "Green Week," during which the network has been touting its environmental coverage across all of its platforms. Forecast Earth normally aired on weekends, but its presumed last episode was shown on a weekday due to the environmentally-oriented week.

Forecast Earth was hosted by former CNN anchor Natalie Allen, with contributions from climate expert Heidi Cullen. It was the sole program on TWC that focused on global climate change, which raises the question of whether the station will still report on the subject. Cullen's future role at the network is not known.

That's too bad about Dave Schwartz. I liked him, even or perhaps especially because there were times when I strongly suspected he was drunk on camera. Cheryl Lemke will be missed, too. Perhaps not up in the Weather Babe stratosphere, but she was pretty close.

But as for Heidi Cullen (that's DR. Heidi Cullen to you, bub!), I say good riddance. She was a Global Warming tongue-swallower extraordinaire, and it was largely because of her alarmism that I finally stopped watching TWC altogether. (Well, her and the mimbo/bimbo team of Jim Cantore and Alexandra Steele.)

The Suck Zone

You know, I have developed something of a taste for truly awful made-for-tee-vee tornado disaster movies. I rejoiced in the terrible Night of the Twisters. I howled at the pathetic Atomic Twister. But last evening I wasted two perfectly good hours absolutely F-5'd by what has to be the single worst twistah flick ever made: SciFi's NYC: Tornado Terror.

The "plot" involves the formation of an upper atmosphere monstah storm - akin to Jupiter's Red Eye - over Noo Yawk City. (Why does it form, you ask? All together, now: GLOBAL WARMING!!!) Anyhoo, the effect is to start screwing with the weather directly beneath it. First it's incomprehensible wind-shear encountered by aircraft. Then it's clusters of cute n' cuddly little dust devils that suddenly morph into ginormous ice-spewing tornadoes. (It occurred to me that Kurt Vonnegut might want to call his copyright lawyers.) The set piece of the thing is a twistah that comes out of nowhere and rips the arm off the Statue of Liberty.

Combating this freakish weather, which will only get worse if somebody doesn't DO something, are a husband and wife meteorlogical duo. They have a much healthier relationship and steadier career paths than Bill and Jo Harding, both working for the Mayor. Despite, the collective skepticism of their boss and the entire Fed'ral guv'mint, they know - they KNOW - that the only thing that's gonna stop this behemoth is a cloud-seeding program developed by a whacked-out 'Nam vet who lives in Joisey. (The guy spent his time fighting the 'Cong by making it rain on them. Really. And in a nice dig, he gets to put in a line about how he'd like to make it rain in Baghdad.) Of course, the Mayor and the NOAA people try to do it their way first, but of course, only wind up making things worse. (Curiously, though, the actual twisters disappear about half way through the movie. The big climactic danger scene involves lightning instead. Lots of lightning. Big forks of it and eeeeeevil little balls that wander through hallways seeking whom they would fry.)

Oh, there are a couple little subplots as well: The niece of the weather chick and some hunky firefighter (who also seems to have earned a Masters somewhere) get caught in a tunnel when Lady Liberty's arm comes tumbling down. After wandering around for a while, they....call her aunt and are rescued. Oh, and the weather dude doesn't want children at the beginning of the story, the sole source of friction between our heroes. At the end, he does.

And how does the end turn out? Is there some particular climactic weather event? Some veritable F-6 Middle Finger of God fixing to charge straight into Midtown? Nope, the army vet dude shoots off his rockets, and the weather duo, looking at their computer monitors, exclaim in relief, "Oh, the system's moving away! Hooray."

And that's pretty much it.

As for production quality, let's just say that cast and dialogue merited each other. Cardboard meets cartoon balloons.

Oh, one other point: The very first victims at the beginning of the flick are a curly-haired little boy and his rich black father. Their private jet gets caught in sudden clear-air turbulence and splashed into the harbor after the boy calls Mom to tell her he's being brave. Later on, a couple of professional dog-walkers meet up in Central Park. Tying their charges to a pole, they sneak off for a little canoodling behind a wall. There is a sudden collective yelp. They look around and discover, to their horror, that the pooches have been sucked right out of their collars and blown away.

Note to SciFi: Killing off cute children, successful minority dudes and pets is not going to win you any viewer sympathy. What the hell were you thinking?

All in all, if you're looking for some truly sucky entertainment, look no further because This Is It.

Eighties Retro Reunion

The recent traffic on top TV theme music took me for a walk down amnesia lane, so now would be a good time to recall my favorite Thursday night activity:

The Big Oh-Five

Believe it or not, today marks the fifth anniversary of the launching of the Llamas.

At this time last year, I believed we were on the verge of busting out big time: Gary, the LMC and Chai-Rista had all come aboard and we were getting ready to launch a new look and logo incorporating them. (Think the Sgt. Pepper's album cover.) We had a respectable sized regular readership and the occasional notice of some of the biggies. A couple more torques and Glenn Reynolds would have been begging us for a Llama-lanche.

Well, insert gratuitous reference to Shakespeare's "Full Many A Glorious Morning" here, because those of you who have paid any attention at all know well that it's been a pretty bad year since. Steve-O went dark, I went holier than thou and the whole juju collapsed.

Nonetheless, insert gratuitous "Invictus" reference here, because we Llamas are still around, our woolly heads bloodied but unbowed. Sure, it's not exactly the kind of birthday I would like, but the fact that we're having one at all is still a cause for celebration.

So what now? Well, for this coming year, I'd like to see the Llamas get their groove back. First, Gary and the LMC have been doing some fine work here, but I think we need to put our collective camelid heads together and come up with a plan. The whole recent Middle Aged Babes thing was a good start, recalling some of the headier foolishness from past days, and I'll bet if we brainstormed a bit, we could concoct some similar themes. Of course, it's tough to do that sort of thing at long distance, so I believe that an executive session and golf outing weekend probably is in order.

Second, there is the question that continues to swamp the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack: Where the hell is Stephen Tiberius Llama? Friends, I tell you truly I do not know, not having heard from him at all since the summah. Steve-O ranks as the single most brilliant person I've ever met in my life, and also one of the craziest. And it's no secret that it was his inspired insanity that provided the dilithium crystals that gave the U.S.S. Llamas warp capability back in the day. We've been doodling along under impulse power since they gave out, our converters bypassed like a Christmas tree, but I continue to hope that perhaps Steve-O will beam back aboard from wherever it is he's boldly gone and set the engines aright.

Anyhoo, time for all that later. In the meantime, there's a whole lot of bubbly to be drunk, cake to be eaten, and Llama fannies to be spanked! Thankee much to Gary and the LMC for sticking with it this year. Thankee also to all of you: At better than 1.6 million hits since we got off the ground, we must be doing something that you like!

Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!

Random Commuter Observation

Local Exxon: Dollar Niyuntee Seven per gallon, baybee!

I poured a couple extra gallons out on the ground and set fire to them just by way of celebration.

What Did The Five Fingers Say To The Face?

**SMACK**

James Kirchick of The New Republic (not a conservative publication by any means) is pointing his fingers at the unhinged Lefty end of the blogosphere and snickering:

"Barack Obama isn't even President yet, and he's already angering some of his most devoted followers on the party's left wing. This is the mark of what could be a very successful presidency.

"With its congressional majority, the Democratic Party has refused to seriously try to end the war, to stop the bailout and to stop the trampling of civil liberties, just to name a few off the top of my head," wrote David Sirota on the popular liberal blog OpenLeft, decrying the serial betrayals of Obama and the congressional Democratic majority. The Democratic Party, he wrote, has "faced no real retribution" for its manifold heresies, something that Sirota believes he and his band of angry bloggers must change. "We better understand why this happened," he fumed.

Allow me to provide an answer. You don't matter. (emphasis mine)

Heh.

Now that establishment Liberals are content to have (at least temporarily) secured all the marbles in Washington, it seems they're happy to throw their "crazy aunt in the attic" radical brethren under the bus. Kirchick continues:

The week before Tuesday's meeting, Obama let it be known that he bore "no grudge" against Lieberman. Setting a positive tone so early after a hard-fought election, he is already making good on his promise to, if not end, then at least lessen the "petty partisanship" he decried in the campaign. Among the positive outcomes of this week's abject lesson in letting bygones be bygones, it is reassuring to see that the leadership of the Democratic Party isn't as petty, vindictive and small as its left-wing supporters.

Whoa, Nellie!

Okay, this one is Ace's fault.

In his post discussing an apparent movie version of Arrested Development in the works (which I tell you right here and now, despite the fact that the series was the funniest damned thing ever put on teevee, is going to be no. bloody. good.), he mentions Justine Bateman's appearance in an episode of the tee vee series. (It's almost impossible to try and describe if you're not already a fan, but the joke is that she is almost sexually involved with Michael Bluth, the hero of the series, played by Justine's real-life brother Jason Bateman.)

Now why do I toss Ms. Bateman into our Llama Pool of Aging But Still Hot Beauty? She's just shy of a year younger than me, so the aging part is alright, but surely, you're saying to your collective self, there's no real physical attraction there. Right?

Wrong.

A fictional character I was reading just the other day - I can't remember who, exactly, but it may well have been either Nick Jenkins or Otto Prohaska, states that as a man gets older, he appreciates that true beauty in a woman derives not so much from the physical surface of her features as from the character showing through from behind.

This, I may say as I contemplate the fact that I am developing arthritis not only in both knees, but also in the fingers of my right hand, is absolutely spot on.

That's why I toss in Ms. Bateman. At least during her stint on A.D., her lazy eyes and her perpetual amused smile were enough to make ol' Robbo's heart go a-pitter, patter.

She Said Yes

According to the NYT. Madam Secretary.

Looks like Billy Jeff is going to become an "international" man of mystery. Yeah-babee!

Honestly, I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, she has considerably more experience in this arena than The One. On the other hand, her husband's administration is famous for Chinese off-shore donations in return for...whatever. AND wasn't she part of the crew that ignored Bin Laden and Al Qaeda for eight years. Okay, I guess I - personally - feel a little bit safer. We'll see.

What baffles me is how this goes as a political move. Yes, she'll be too preoccupied to focus on a full-blown campaign for 2012 but she (and her staffers) can also do considerable damage in undermining this administration.

And just what is the time-frame "over-under" for a secret diplomatic overture on the part of her husband (not authorized by her boss, that is)? Hmmm.

Will Joe Camel Get Ronald McDonald As A Cellmate In The Gulag?

Somebody thinks it's a good idea.

ATLANTA -- A little less "I'm Lovin' It" could put a significant dent in the problem of childhood obesity, suggests a new study that attempts to measure the effect of TV fast-food ads.

A ban on such commercials would reduce the number of obese young children by 18 percent, and the number of obese older kids by 14 percent, researchers found.

They also suggested that ending an advertising expense tax deduction for fast-food restaurants could mean a slight reduction in childhood obesity.

Some experts say it's the first national study to show fast-food TV commercials have such a large effect on childhood obesity. A 2006 Institute of Medicine report suggested a link, but concluded proof was lacking.

"Our study provides evidence of that link," said study co-author Michael Grossman, an economics professor at City University of New York.

The study has important implications for the effectiveness of regulating TV advertising, said Lisa Powell, a researcher at the University of Illinois at Chicago's Institute for Health Research and Policy. She was not involved in the research but was familiar with it.

The percentage of U.S. children who are overweight or obese rose steadily from the 1980s until recently, when it leveled off. About a third of American kids are overweight or obese, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates.

The causes of childhood obesity are complicated, but for years researchers have been pondering the effects of TV advertising. Powell, for example, found fast-food commercials account for as much as 23 percent of the food-related ads kids see on TV. Others have estimated children see fast-food commercials tens of thousands of times a year.

Remember: It's not censorship if it's For The Children.

Possibly the Grossest Post I've Ever Written

So don't read it if you're faint of heart.

I've discovered that there is actually something more repulsive than waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of the cat next to the bed noisily devouring a mouse she's caught somewhere.

Yes!

It's hearing said cat eating said mouse, then hearing said cat being sick and then forgetting about it and being brutally reminded the next morning only when getting up in the dark and stepping in the remains.

Thankyew!

(If anyone would like to drop by Orgle Manor today to clean up the mess, I'll pay you an awful lot of money.)

UPDATE: Never mind - I did it myself. Yuk. And may I just say here that while normally the Missus talks a great feminist game about being able to handle all the traditional "Dad" jobs around the house herself, when it comes to this particular sort of thing she's pure women-standing-on-chairs-and-screaming-in-early-50's-sitcoms.

Out with the old, in with the new (to me)

I traded in the old ride yesterday and picked up a gently-used set of wheels with 39,000 miles on it and an extended warranty. If you are thinking about buying a car, now is the time to do it. There is plenty of inventory and the dealers want your business.

No Greater Love

Two Marines are to receive the Navy Cross posthumously for their actions in stopping an explosive-laden truck trying to run the gate at their base in Ramadi last April. They never flinched and died firing their weapons. Read it. (Via the LA Times blog and AP)

Pop Cul-cha Mania!

Awesome list: The Top 40 TV show theme songs! Each with a YouTube link.

Noticeably absent, "The Facts of Life". Hmmm.

The more you enjoy this, the more likely you are over the age of 35.

Open thread: Which ones didn't make the list that you consider a complete travesty?

h/t to Dirty Harry

Sean Young

is 53 today. Here she is, back in the day:

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"10"

Bo Derek is fifty according to the local fishwrapper:

Where's Robbo?

On the road today.

Not that 374,999,997 people in this country would give much of a damn one way or another, but I thought you other 3 might be interested.

Yip! at you later.

.

Have A Crappy Day

Yes, it's World Toilet Day!

According to the World Toilet Organization (yes, really) here are the three We's (or should it be "Weees"?) of the pro-commode movement:

World Toilet Organization (WTO) stands up for the 3 "WE (s)" in the theme "We Deserve Better".

* WE: Toilets deserve better social status. WTO has been striving to elevate the status of toilets to make them status symbols and objects of desire. WTO speaks on behalf of toilets "WE DESERVE BETTER SOCIAL STATUS".

* WE: The second WE are the toilet cleaners. WTO aims to professionalize the sanitation and restroom industry and to upgrade the skill sets of the restroom cleaners. WTO speaks on behalf of the toilet cleaners "WE DESERVE BETTER PAY, RESPECT AND PROSPECTS".

* WE: WTO speaks on behalf of 2.5 billion toilet-less people, "WE DESERVE BETTER PLACES TO DEFECATE -- PROPER TOILETS".

I have to admit that I've been struggling all day over whether to post on this. I mean, yes, I can see what these folks are getting at. And surely improved sanitation around the world is truly a worthy goal.

But still.......OHHH, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Sorry, sorry. Couldn't help myself.

Seriously, I think we should all step up and do what we can to help the WTO help the world, ah, put its problems behind it.

OHHH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

Oh, I slay me!

"I will just pick it up."

My response to the service rep from the local MB dealership upon learning the cost of replacing a "windshield wiper transmission" in my 1998 sedan is $1,170. I never knew windshield wipers had transmissions and now that I do and how pricey they are, it may be time to trade my ride in for something from the Land of the Rising Sun.

"Hello, Clarice" stunt dating division

Jodie Foster turns 46 according to the local rag:

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Wake Up With Melissa Theuriau

As always, I have no idea what she's saying...

...but that really doesn't matter, does it?

Storm of the Century of the Week Watch

Well, despite the forecast, so far I have not seen any snowflakes in Dee Cee today.

That hasn't stopped me from stockpiling brandy and making preparations to eat the children should we be cut off, of course.

No point in not being prepared.

UPDATE: AI! SNOWFLAKES! TIME TO LIQUOR UP AND FIELD-DRESS THE LLAMA-ETTES!!

When blondes go bad

Your humble LMC gives you Darryl Hannah, who turns 48 next month--

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Carbon footprint blather

Mrs. LMC persuaded yours truly to attend an alumnae function this evening for the retiring president of her alma mater, a certain woman's college in central Virginia. The reception was held at the swanky digs of a local well-to-alum with luxury cars/SUVs lining the street on both sides going up to the walk. The guest of honor held forth in the front hall of this abode at some length about new programs at the school, "energy audits" of the academic buildings, and a commitment to be "carbon neutral." I wondered aloud to the knuckle-draggers huddled in the back if the gal had any idea what an "energy audit" would reveal about her present setting, from the gas fireplaces to the twelve-foot ceilings to the underwater lights in the outdoor pool that would not see swimmers before next May. I was further tempted to asked the old gal if she might look out the window and call back the make and model of each vehicle parked outside before going on and on about "carbon neutrality." Instead, I headed back to the bar for another round. No question about it, when the revolution comes, I will be the first one up against the wall.

Star Trek Trailer

Via Hot Air:

Gratuitous Fins Posting

Six and four, baybee! Tied with the Pats and guess who's hosting the game between them this weekend?

That one's gonna be worth watching.

AUIEG** Diary - Day 12

Still no sign.

Diary, I feel I need to apologize for yesterday's outburst. You see, I was kind of upset. Also, I was looking on those who I thought were hurling insults at Dreamy B as, well, sinful. Perhaps, fallen. Certainly not in that state of grace in which I felt it appropriate to pay them the least bit of attention.

Well you know what, Diary? The One moves in mysterious ways.

You see, this morning I happened to glance at the op-ed section of Pravda on the Potomac. The lede opinion was by Eliot Spitzer - Sooper Donk - and was entitled 'How To Ground the Street.' It was all about the baaaad things Wall Street had done to get us into this soon-to-be-Great-Depression-mess, and the steps we must take Right Now in order to prevent such a heinous calamity.

So why was this relevent to my way of thinking? Well, gosh, Diary, it wasn't all that long ago that I remember Eliot Spitzer, then Governor of New York, being nailed for having purchased the services of high-priced whores. As you'll recall, dear Diary, Spitzer resigned from his position over the flap when his, ah, extra-marital shopping became known.

Now, gosh! Call me naive and simple-minded, but when a scumbag of this sort gets caught and exposed for the hedonistic megalomaniac that he is, I'd have thought that was the last we'd ever hear of him. And yet here he is, writing columns about what you and I ought to in order to keep our way of life - splashed right on Page 1 of the WaPo editorials!

What does that tell you, Diary? Me, it says: "The One will absolve you of all sins -past, present and future!" Mayun is that comforting! Till now, I'll admit, Diary, that this whole Catholic-guit thing has really held me back. However, now that I see a clear road in front of me, I reckon that Dreamy B and I will be able to raise hell like a couple sailors on shore-leave and no questions asked!

How sweet is that?

Oooooh, I can't wait for The One to send Dreamy B to me!

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

UPDATE: Dear Diary - The Wall Street Journal must read you because they stole my idea!

AUIEG** Diary - Day 11

Dear Diary:

Still no sign.

But, oooooh! and I mad!!! Why? Because certain people, responding to my recent thoughts about the benefits that Dreamy B's powerful wings would bring once The One had delivered him, said that......Unicorns have no wings!

You bastards!

You think you can define a unicorn? You think you can just stand there and say, "Oh, based on my dead white male understanding of things, your unicorn can't be the way you want it to be!" You are So. Full. Of. Yourselves. Maybe you should try looking in a mirror and asking just who really isn't capable of being what they want to be. Maybe you should take just a little time to understand: My Unicorn can be whatever I want it to be! Jeez! Next you'll be assuming you can define a "marriage"! Or what constitutes "human life"! Or such retro ideas as "good" and "evil"!

Puh-lease!

Also, dear Diary, more to the point: My Unicorn will be whatever The ONE wants it to be!!! If The One wants my Unicorn to have wings, then so shall it be. If The One wants my Unicorn to have a lemon colored mane, then so shall it be. If The ONE wants my Unicorn to have both deep sea capacity and intergalactic hyperdrive, then by golly, MY UNICORN IS GOING TO HAVE DEEP SEA CAPACITY AND INTERGALACTIC HYPERDRIVE!!!!

Get it?

So, dear Diary, I'm recording a message to all those fools who think they know better: Get over yourselves! Embrace The One!! LEAVE DREAMY B ALONE!!!!!!!

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Well Spank My Ass And Call Me Charlie

I admit that when it was announced that Brett Favre was signed by the NY Jets my first reaction (as a Giants fan, of course) was "Great, now they can lose...in style!".

After they pulled one out over the Pats last night, bringing their record to 7-3, I have to say not too shabby.

Don't tell the Mrs. but I'm about to utter a phrase that seldom escapes my lips: I was wrong.

I doubt it

SWMNBN as The One's secretary of state for several reasons. (Via ABC News) Putting her in the top job at Foggy Bottom would put her in a position to leak all kinds of things. She could make news simply by walking a foreign minister out the front door of State to his car. It is unlikely she would allow herself to be put into in a position where she could be fired by The One or be lectured on foreign policy all the time by soon-to-be former senator from Delaware.

AUIEG** Diary - Day 10

Dear Diary,

Check it out: Change Has Come commemorative plates! Only $19.95! I tell you, Diary, we ought to clean out our portfolio and invest in these babies right now.

Anyway, Diary, I got thinking last night: I've been so excited at the prospect of The One delivering my Unicorn that perhaps I've overlooked a fundamental question - Just what the heck am I actually going to do with Dreamy B when he appears? I mean, have I fallen into the Underpants Gnomes trap?

Step 1 - Unicorn

Step 2 - _______

Step 3 - Profit

I have a sneaking suspicion that some other folks might well have gone down this route. "Doggonit, Tom," I said to myself, "I'm not going to be like that!" So, Diary, I got up, grabbed a pad and pencil, sat down and really thought about what specific benefits Dreamy B is going to provide. Here, dear Diary, from the home office at Orgle Manor, is the list:

ROBBO'S TOP TEN LIST OF UNICORN-OWNERSHIP BENEFITS

10. Unlimited rides for kids ensures top-notch birthday party entertainment for years to come.

9. One kiss from Dreamy B cures everything from minor scrapes to AIDS and cancer.

8. Powerful wings generate not only enough wind-power kilowattage to cover ordinary household needs, but also large electronic sign that reads "BITE ME, OPEC!"

7. Gaze from big, dewey eyes will render building contractors, garage mechanics and plumbers incapable of rooking us.

6. Sooper-size Unicorn brain available for tutoring means kids stroll into Harvard Med.

5. With powerful flanks and diamond-encrusted hooves, Dreamy B will just plain kick the crap out of any mean people.

4. Unicorn pooh spread around lollipop tree will generate sufficient crop yield to feed not just household, but all of Africa as well.

3. Glossy Unicorn coat will reflect solar radiation back into space, help control Greenhouse Effect.

2. Powdered slivers from Unicorn horn, taken with water, increase sexual potency 100-fold.

1. If things don't work out, French friends have told me horse meat actually is pretty darn tasty.

(Okay, Diary, that last one was just a joke. Just a joke!)

Ooooh, I can hardly wait!

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Uncle, Can You Spare A Few Trillion Dimes?

Something tells me the guys over at The Nose On Your Face are into something good:

Dear Treasury Secretary Paulson, President Bush, Speaker of the House Pelosi, and members of Congress:

We are the co-executives of the uproariously funny, albeit fiscally insolvent, weblog–TheNoseOnYourFace.com. We specialize in made-up stories from a very partisan perspective. While we have a product that is clearly vital to the American people (see The New York Times, CBS News et al), we are completely unable to operate at a profit. It goes without saying that this has caused no shortage of problems for us and our staff, both in the workplace and at home. Until now.

It has come to our attention that there is a government program available for businesses in our-apparently far from unique- situation. You can imagine our excitement when we found out about this generous offer!

We realize that some of the other businesses have received rather substantial “loans” (wink-wink). We have carefully reviewed our books and we certainly will not require $700 billion, $25 billion, or even $10 billion. Those amounts would be on the excessive side. No, we need a mere $2.5 billion.

Obviously we don’t expect you to just give us money without knowing what it’s for. We intend to use it to cover day-to-day operations, infrastructure updates, and various incidentals.*

We hope there is not a form that we need to fill out out to receive our “loan.” We’ve been through enough. Please forward the money to our enclosed Pay Pal account.

Sincerely,

Buckley F. Williams and RH Potfry

The Nose On Your Face

*Incidentals to include, but not limited to: machete-sharpening service for Islamic Rage Boy, Nutella immunization booster shots, and Salt & Vinegar Pringles.

I've got to get in on this gig, too. Among other things, when Steve-O went dormant, he also took with him the only key to our BlogAds account, in which I understand we've got something like $67.35. Gary, LMC and I have been living on seed filched out of birdfeeders ever since.

Uh, Oh

Mysterious glowing aurora over Saturn confounds scientists

A stunning light display over Saturn has stumped scientists who say it behaves unlike any other planetary aurora known in our solar system.

The blueish-green glow was found over the ringed planet's north polar region just like Earth's northern lights.

It was discovered by the infrared instruments on NASA's Cassini spacecraft.

'We've never seen an aurora like this elsewhere,' said Tom Stallard, a scientist working with Cassini data at the University of Leicester.

'This aurora covers an enormous area across the pole. Our current ideas on what forms Saturn's aurora predict that this region should be empty, so finding such a bright aurora here is a fantastic surprise.'

The new infrared aurora appears in a region hidden from NASA's Hubble Space Telescope. Cassini observed it when the spacecraft flew near Saturn's polar region.

In infrared light, the aurora sometimes fills the region from around 82 degrees north all the way over the pole. This new aurora is also constantly changing, even disappearing within a 45 minute-period.

'There is something special and unforeseen about this planet's magnetosphere and the way it interacts with the solar wind and the planet's atmosphere,' Cassini scientist Nick Achilleos from the University College London said.

My God in Heaven! The Saturnians are powering up their interplanetary death ray......and this Administration does nothing!!!!

AUIEG** Diary - Day 9

Still no sign.

Diary, do you think that when Dreamy B does arrive, he'll give me special Unicorn kisses on cold, wet days like today so that my knees won't ache so much?

I hope so.

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Random Commuter Observation

I don't know how it is in other parts of the country, but in my neck of NoVA I find it quite interesting that virtually all of the bumper stickers - for both The One and Maverick - seem to have vanished since the election. Quite different from the last couple cycles.

As it happens, I still have my own sticker. This is partly due to shear laziness on my part, but also partly due to the fact that I wish to continue registering my opinion that the country basically beer-goggled itself into something it's going to regret. If I am proved wrong (and I honestly hope this will be the case), I will be happy to remove it.

AUIEG** Diary - Day 8

Dear Diary -

OMG! Uh, oh. Um, I mean, OMO!

Apparently The One has been reading you, Diary, and is not happy about the questions I've been raising vis a viz when and how He is going to deliver Dreamy B to Orgle Manor, because thanks to several alert friends I've just heard of Operation Omama Llama Trauma!

Honest, dear Diary! I never meant any disrespect to The One! I was only asking questions about my new Unicorn! Is that now a crime? I didn't know!

Oooh! Looks like I asked another question! Is that going to get me in more trouble?

Yikes! I did it again, didn't I?

Auuuuuuught!! I can't win, can I?

OH, SH------!!!!!!

Dear Diary (and Dear Leader, if you;re reading), please pretend you never saw this entry. (I guess this is entirely the wrong time to ask what the heck I'm going to do with all that Unicorn poop once Dreamy B gets here, isn't it?)

OH - -----

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Can't Believe It

You totally whiffed on this one, Robbo.

Birthdays? How about your favorite Indiana Jones girl?

Dr. Elsa Schneider (actress Alison Doody)

42 today!

Stunt dating double feature

Demi Moore

Flixster - Share Movies

and Calista Flockhart, both 44 today, according to the local rag:

Flixster - Share Movies

YIPS! from Robbo: Gotta say that, for me, Demi Moore goes firmly in that category of dates I would label "Not For All The Tea In China."

AUIEG** Diary - Day 7

Dear Diary:

Still no sign.

But here's a piece of luck. The fellahs who manage the Times Square Noo Year's Ball are building a new one that, apparently, is going to be available for other holidays as well.

And why is this fortunate? Because according to the nooz, there are already plans in the works for a national holiday honoring The One!

I mean, as Gob Bluth would say, "Oh, come on!"

Know what I got thinking, Diary? Maybe that would be the bestest day for handing out all the Unicorns! Perhaps we could even call it Unicorn Day! Unless, of course, it was felt that such a name might steal too much of The One's spotlight.

Gosh, Diary, I sure get dizzy trying to figure out what The One has in mind for us vis-a-vis the appearance at Orgle Manor of Dreamy B. But you know what? Stories like this continue to give me hope that whatever it is, it's going to be just the bestest thing evah!

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Fly the Flag this Veterans Day

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,
though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae, May 1915
(from Poems of the Great War)

Fly the flag at the top of the mast.

On October 8th 2008, The LMC "Approved This Message"

And a trend had begun. Featured photos of babes over 40. Robbo and I responded (eagerly) in kind. And, needless to say, the ol' Sitemeter stats were not driven since then by political banter.

It just occurred to me what was the catalyst that drove our over-40 chick obsession.

(The answer below the fold)

Sarah Palin!

You Betcha!

48 years hot in 2012!. Mmmm. We do loves us our Sarah.

Joey, Do You Like Movies About....Norsemen?

On one of those Netflix "moovies we'd recommend" whims, I tossed The Vikings (1958) into the ol' queue.

Who knew Ernest Borgnine could be so convincing as a Norseman? (I jest. I JEST!) Who knew the fjords of Scandanavia ran so deep in cheese? And who knew that the Vikings were such happy-go-lucky REAL folk (who just liked to pillage, rape and murder people), while the English were a bunch of scheming, effete fops.

And who knew that there was more than one Kirk Douglas/Tony Curtis movie that featured Curtis playing a slave who spends most of his time sporting a pair of shorts that are waaaay too short and waaay too tight. Never mind that Curtis' wife Janet Leigh was in this flick as well: I'm beginning to harbor some very deep suspicions about him and Douglas.

We Finally Won!! Please Send More Money

The permanent campaign continues. MoveOn.org's most recent email takes a break from its big happy dance to implore all those tireless supporters to keep ponying up with the coin.

Got a big "progressive" agenda to push, dontcha know?

And here's the sweetener - act now and for only $20 they'll send you this beeyooteeful poster of Dreamy B, suitable for framing:

You've already given them money for the last eight years you say? Bah! There's a revolution going on.

Not to mention that the organization's founders are not about to "move on" themselves and get real jobs. And I think they made a slight mistake in that URL above. It shouldn't be moveon.org/shepposters. I'd think SHEEPposters is much more appropriate.

AUIEG** Diary - Day 6

Dear Diary:

Still no sign.

I got wondering last night: What do Unicorns eat, exactly? Magickal sparkly hay? Or perhaps the fruit of the lollipop tree? Or is it just the sort of plain ol' Purina Equine Chow you can pick up down at the feed store?

In any case, I would imagine that Unicorns eat rayther a lot. That would get really expensive really quick if The One just dropped off Dreamy B and left all the upkeep to me. I'm sure The One would never do something like that, would he?

I notice that Vlad Putin wants a Unicorn, too. It seems to me that his Unicorn, which I'll bet he names "Tsar", would probably most like to eat former Soviet provinces and Warsaw Pact countries. Just a guess, of course. And I'm sure The One will handle that, too.

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Sarah Palin

Random thought--Sarah Palin answering her hotel door with wet hair, wearing only a towel, having just gotten out of the shower, no doubt with a smile . . . What is wrong with that?

MORE FROM THE LMC: It seems it was a bathrobe, not a towel.

YIPS! from Robbo: Towel or robe, I think the question still stands.....

Happy Birthday to the Soldiers of the Sea

Tomorrow is the birthday of the United States Marine Corps. Two hundred thirty-three years of storied history have made the eagle, anchor, and globe a symbol of honor and bravery known throughout the world.

. . . Grant we pray,
to all Marines, both night and day;
The courage, honor, strength, and skill;
Their land protect, thy law fulfill.
Be Thou for evermore,
A shield to every peril to the Corps!

The Navy Hymn

. . . If the Army and the Navy,
Ever look on heaven's scenes,
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines!

The Marines Hymn

(I once heard an Army general say: "I have no idea what kind of government the United States will have four hundred years from now but I do know two institutions will survive: the Army National Guard and the United States Marine Corps.")

Gratuitous 'Fins Posting

5-4. I'm not sure if I remember how to deal with a winning record......

AUIEG** Diary - Day 5

Dear Diary:

Still no sign.

I was reading Pravda on the Potomac today. The Opinion section featured a big color photo of a poster featuring The One in a Superman suit, slapped on a wall somewhere or other. The poster was already ratty and torn at the edges, and I must confess that this gave me pause for a moment. Just a moment, though.

Anyhoo, the Op-Eds featured commentary by all sorts of national and international voices about The One. Of particular interest was the article by Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Let me quote just a bit:

I am rubbing my eyes in disbelief and wonder. It can't be true that Barack Obama, the son of a Kenyan, is the next president of the United States.

But it is true, exhilaratingly true. An unbelievable turnaround. I want to jump and dance and shout, as I did after voting for the first time in my native South Africa on April 27, 1994.

We owe our glorious victory over the awfulness of apartheid in South Africa in large part to the support we received from the international community, including the United States, and we will always be deeply grateful. But for those of us who have lookd to America for inspiration as we struggled for democracy and human rights, these past seven years have been lean ones.

A few days after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, we had our first shock, hearing your president respond not with the statesmanlike demeanor we had come to expect from a U.S. head of state but like a Western gunslinger. Later, it seemd that much of American society followed his lead.

[Snip]

To the outgoing administration's record on torture we must add a string of other policies that have damaged the standing of the United States in the world: its hostility to the Kyoto Protocol on greenhouse gases; its refusal to assent to the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court, establishing the ICC's role in prosecuting war crimes; its restrictions on the use of U.S. funding to fight AIDS; and the arrogant unilateralism it has employed in declaring to be enemies any country it deemed "against us" because they were not "for us."

The Bush administration has riled people everywhere. Its bully-boy attitude has sadly polarized our world.

Against all this, the election of Barack Obama has turned America's image on its head.

[Snip]

Today Africans walk taller than they did a week ago - just as they did when Nelson Mandela became South Africa's first black president in 1994. Not only Africans, but people everywhere who have been victims of discrimination at the hands of white Westerners, have a new pride in who they are. If a dark-skinned person can become the leader of the world's most powerful nation, what is to stop children everywhere from aiming for the stars? The fact that Obama's Kenyan grandfather was a convert to Islam may - shamefully - have been controversial in parts of the United States, but elsewhere in teh world, Obama's multi-fiath feritage is an inspiration.

And the president-elect has one additional key quality: He is not George W. Bush.

As I read the rest of the article it occurred to me: Archbishop Tutu wants a Unicorn, too! And so, apparently, does everyone else in the world. That mean ol' Dubya - keeping them from teh love all those years!

On a practical note, the population of Earth is, what, about 6 trillion or so? That's a lot of Unicorns. Where is The One going to get all of them? I hope he doesn't decide he has to take Dreamy B away from me in order to give him to Bishop Tutu or somebody somewhere else in the world.

But of course, The One will know best.

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

From 48 to 52

In the spirit:

There is still hope

Amidst the carnage of The Late Unpleasantness comes the news that California and Arizona passed initiatives to define marriage as being between one man and one woman. The culture wars are not over and the Lefties will overreach.

Daily Kos Theme Song

AUIEG** Diary - Day 4

Dear Diary:

Still no sign.

I was thinking (dreaming! - heh) about Dreamy-B again last night and got to wondering: Unicorns and Llamas - is that going to work out? Are they compatible with each other? Might there be some problems?

But then I realized: If the One wants me to have my very own unicorn, it must be for the bestest of reasons. If there are any problems between unicorns and llamas, why, I'm just going to have to be less of a llama in order to make sure we get along.

Ask not what your unicorn can do for you. Ask instead what you can do for your unicorn.

I'm sure that's what the One wants.

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

AUIEG** Diary - Day 3

Dear Diary:

Still no sign of our Unicorn. I did see a dead spider in the garage this morning, however. Spiders like to spin webs to catch and control their victims while lurking in the background. Sort of like Dick Cheney, right? So when I saw the dead spider, it reminded me that Cheney's diktatorship has failed and is about over. That made me happy, but it also raised a question: Does the One want me to purify my garage before he sends the Unicorn? Maybe so.

Also, dear Diary, Gary told me that his children have already picked out names for their two Unicorns: "Cuff" and "Link". I think those are nice names. Actually, I had been hoping to keep this a secret for a while, but I'll confess that I've already picked out a name for my Unicorn, too. I'm going to call him "Dreamy B". Get it? And he's going to be the bestest Unicorn evah!

Oh, I'm all excited again just writing this.

Yours,

Robbo

(**A Unicorn In Every Garage)

Election Day Plus Three: Still No Unicorn

And since I have a two-car garage, I'm expecting a pair of them. The kids have already picked out the names "cuff" and "link".

They're going to be very upset if The One doesn't deliver.

Robbo, how goes it with you? Personally, I'm starting to lose my patience.

Sarah Smile

(Image filched from Gabriel Malor over at Ace's place.)

The story is going round this morning that certain political hacks within the McCain campaign are trying to throw Palin under the bus, blaming her for the loss.

Sooper-sekret message to CPHWTMC: Screw you.

Without Palin, McCain would have been clobbered outright. She's an extraordinary breath of fresh Alaskan air in this Potomac tidal basin fever swamp, and I can't wait to see her come back in the future.

Dems: The Whole "Change" Thing?

Eh, maybe not so much.

Except for the mindless automatons who've been walking around like brain-eating zombies chanting "yes we can", this really shouldn't come as a total surprise:

Democratic leaders are tamping down on expectations for rapid change and trying to signal they will place a calm hand on the nation’s tiller.

“The country must be governed from the middle,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Wednesday. Repeating themes from election night, she said she plans to emphasize “civility” and “fiscal responsibility.”

Her comments emphasized that after an election consistently referred to as “historic,” Democrats face the daunting task of dealing with the plunging economy and two wars.

Yet, they face massive expectations for change and deep-seated fears of overreaching. But senior aides say they’ve learned from the mistakes of the past. Nearly every member of the current Democratic leadership in the House served through the 1992 election, when Bill Clinton was elected president. Two years later, the GOP gained control of Congress.

More recently, they’ve watched Republicans go from complete dominance to minority status in the space of two elections.

“The difference is we have the benefit of experience in seeing what happens when you gain control,” said a senior Democratic aide. “I do not envision a scenario where we’d go off on an ideological mission in an undisciplined way."

I don't know how I'm going to tell my kids that they might not be getting that unicorn.

Up to 2:28 in the clip above gets the point across.

Gratuitous Llama Neflix Movie Review

"Pathetic Robbo!"

On a complete whim, I recently tossed Flash Gordon -which I'd never seen before - into my Netflix queue.

Last evening I ran it off and I must say that I was both surprised and immensely pleased: This movie is camp the way it ought to be. What fun!

The only problem? Now I've got that "Flash! Aaaaahh!!" musick from Queen running through my head incessently.

Oh, you do, too, now? Consider it a gift from me to you!

AUIEG** Watch

(**A Unicorn in every garage.)

No sign today.

Several people have written in to the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack to say, "For Heaven's sake, Tom, give Him some time. After all, He's very, very busy and He's not even sworn in yet!"

I suppose they're right. (NPR said so this morning!) But I must say that I'm still just a little disappointed: I thought that being omnipotent, the One didn't have to prioritize tasks. And as for swearing in, well yes, but after all Jesus didn't wait till after the Resurrection before starting up with the miracles, so why should He?

Nonetheless, I am resolving to try and be patient.

The Late Unpleasantness

A thoughts before I blast off for work--time to clean house in the GOP: First, get rid of the creepy (Larry Craig) and the corrupt: (e.g., Ted Stevens). Second, ignore calls to dump the religious Right. Attacking the base will fracture the party. Third, compromise works as a strategy as long as it advances the agenda. Compromise for the sake of "bipartisanship" alone is worthless. Fourth, the Democrats are playing hardball, and play to win. They will use Republican moderates to block the agenda in the name of "saving the center" (e.g., the so-called Gang of 14). Now that hard-Lefties are ascendant, they will not give a damn about the center. Fifth, the details matter. The Dems had a hell of a ground game and anyone who ignores it does so at their peril. Sixth, the media will love a Republican as long as he attacks his own party. When given the choice between a "maverick" and a real Lefty, the Lefty wins every time. Finally, ideology matters. The conservative movement is about smaller government, protection of human life from conception to natural death, empowering people to rely on themselves, belief in American exceptionalism, support for capitalism, low taxes, a strong military to defend us in a dangerous world, and a judiciary that will not legislate from the bench. Get back to the basics.

Court-Watch Yips! from Gary:
Considering that the judicial filibuster may now be the only way to prevent radical activist judges from getting a vote for the Supreme Court, the "Gang of 14" deal doesn't seem to suck as much as it did back in 2005.

Geez, never thought I'd be saying that.

I Walk The Line

OK, so I got my initial reaction rant out of the way. Going back and reading it I'm actually surprised at how measured it is. Especially when you consider the false hopes created by the tightness of some of the races expected to cascade into Obamaland by 8pm.

I've had my good nights rest. I've had time to collect my thoughts. I haven't watched more than 2 or 3 minutes of coverage today in total as I'm just not interested in more than the final EV tally.

The silver lining is the re-election of KY Senator Mitch McConnell who will be the only real leader of the loyal opposition. Depending on how the MN Senate seat recount goes it should be fairly easy to varying degrees to strategically use the filibuster and avoid being run roughshod over for the next two years.

Now some perspective.

The Obama/Pelosi/Reid troika definitely have major agenda items that they'll want to get to. But they'll have to pick their battles. Even Dems in Congress have to be careful what they sign on for because anything that flops will come back to haunt them. By and large, these men and women are politicians first. And protecting their all-important hides is their overriding priority. But they need some bones to throw. So they'll get to work right away, before Obama is even sworn in.

Here's a fellow MuNuvian (or is it MeeNeevian now?) who makes a good point:

"Idealists often stub their toes on the wayward rocks of reality, and fall on their faces. And the world doesn't respond to benign behavior benignly.

But there's another reason why: Obama has been hiding his light under a basket. A lot of people bought a pig in a poke today, and now they're going to find out what they bought. Obama isn't what most of them think he is. The intoxication of the cult will wear off, leaving a monumental hangover...

...And it ain't possible for the Democrats to deliver what's been promised. Gonna be a hell of a lot of disillusioned lefties out there. A lot of people who felt they were deceived. A lot of people who will eventually realize that the Obama campaign was something of a cult.

Disillusionment will turn to a feeling of betrayal. And that will, in turn, convert to anger.

In the mean time, Obama and Congressional Democrats will do things that cause harm, but very little of it will be irreversible.

I would have enjoyed watching lefty heads explode if McCain had won. But we're going to see lefty heads exploding anyway; it's just going to take longer."

As for myself, after a brief bout with Obama Derangement Syndrome as the results came in, I decided I couldn't do it. Sure, I'll photoshop stupid pictures, criticize our new president with vigor and joy, and work to ensure that conservatives are a thorn in his side, but like I said last night, I won't hate him for a simple reason.

I love this country too much to do to President-Elect Obama what the left did to President Bush, John McCain and Sarah Palin. We're better than that.

Demonization is not essential to opposition. I plan to spend the next four years like I spent the last four - being a husband, dad and extremely reluctant taxpayer. I'm going to disagree with the president a lot, but I don't see that as a license to hate. I've spent far too much time criticizing the left to become like them.

Okay - I'm not suggesting we reach across the aisle and embrace bipartisanship, or roll over for The One and give him what he wants. No way. I'm simply saying that in our zeal to defeat him and his policies, we shouldn't go overboard and turn into the shrill hatemongers we have spent the last eight years despising.

That's eight years of hate. Eight years of their sad lives that they're never going to get back. And they invested everything - and I mean everything - in the hope of The One to deliver them to the promised land. Right now they think they're stepping of the boat onto the golden shores with rainbows all around and a unicorn in every garage (sorry Robbo).

As I said in the last post, the bloom will certainly come off the rose. After the honeymoon, how long will it be before the Kos-sacks end up feeling dissed over some trivial matter? How long before they don't feel they're being sufficiently consulted? Despite their best efforts, they can't stop being who they really are. In the aftermath of the 2006 Congressional elections, I recall one Lefty loon (it may well have been Kos, but I think it was someone at MorOn.org) who said of the Democrat party "we bought it, we own it. it's ours."

And while the Democrats still coveted the White House and needed those foot soldiers, the DNC didn't argue with them. I don't think it will be long before the MoveOn crowd comes to realize that rather than owning it they were merely renting it.

And I'm certainly not going to pull that childish "He's not my President" crap, which is the political equivalent of stamping your feet and holding your breath. Of course he'll be my President. What an absurdity to state otherwise. Though that didn't stop so many of the Lefties for the last eight years.

So back to the post title. Going forward I will certainly be there to highlight where the new President goes wrong. But not in anticipation that it damages the country, but rather in hopes that those unbelievable expectations come crashing to Earth. And that those on the Left who invested so much of themselves building up those expectations come crashing down with them.

There's a fine line between being a cheerful conscientious critic and an angry bitter opponent. I will have to pay careful attention as I walk that line. And so will the rest of you.

Don't become what you hate. Believe it or not it'll make them crazier.

Congratulations President-Elect Obama. And good luck. You're going to need it.

Riddle Me This

Here's what I can't sort out:

The "exit" polls all say that the economy was the numero uno factor on the voters' collective minds this time around. Fair enough. But the economic meltdown was precipitated by a housing crisis caused by people signing papers they didn't understand in order to purchase houses they couldn't possibly afford.

So why do they now believe that a president they don't understand and can't possible afford is the answer to their problems?

Burnt fool's bandaged fingers? Meet fire.

Oh, and btw, I checked in my garage again this morning. Still no unicorn.

The Saving Remnant

Conservatives take heart. Sarah Palin is not going anywhere.

I'm Robbo The Llama And I Approve This Message

*****Stickied to the top until it's all over *****

Never, never, never, never, never, never, NEVER give up!

That is all.

Well, Now....

Okay, America, I surely hope you know what you're doing.......

On the one hand, I would be genuinely glad if my misgivings about The One turn out to be unfounded.

On the other hand, I'm not a'tall optomistic, because I just checked in my garage and I sure as hell don't see no unicorn.

God luck and God bless!

So Goes Ohio, So Goes The Nation...

Well, Fox called OH for Obama. And given that the Blue states are blue and the Red states are red that flips it to the Dems.

It's NOT a blowout. It's really close. It's still a 50/50 nation. [Update: Okay, a 52/46 nation, as opposed to the 51/47 nation we were in 2004]

For the last eight years half the country has been pissed off. Well, the only thing that's changed is that it's the OTHER half now. No mandate. No "coming-together" Kumbaya crap. It's not going to be all rainbows and unicorns. Mitch McConnell is our firewall.

Unity? Suck it!

Now at least I get the satisfaction of slamming every family member and friend who is a Dem that everything that goes wrong, everything that sucks is Barack Obama's fault. No excuses. They control everything.

They have it all. Including the responsibility. And we're all going to hold it to them.

Kudo's to Sen. McCain. He was in a no-win situation. History to be made. A once in a century economic collapse. An unpopular war. Unprecedented voter fraud in battleground states that goes unreported. A media so in the tank for the Democrat that over 70% of the public recognizes it? The opponent's grandmother dying the DAY BEFORE ELECTION DAY!!!! How do you compete? Fact is, McCain made it a race. And I give him all the credit in the world. [Update Deux: And good work to all those folks in the battleground states - I'm looking at YOU Vic - who fought the good fight on the front lines and didn't give up hope.]

It's a long road to 2012. But if Jimmy Carter's Presidency is any indicator it doesn't take much to clip the bloom off of the rose.

This Just In...

As was the case four years ago, exit poll data is complete crap. And all over the map, thereby upgrading it to pure shit.

Pardon my French.

What Would Colonel Chamberlain Do?

A thought on this Election Day:

You can't stay where you are and you can't run away. So you fix bayonets and you CHARGE!

"But if not"

The Germans cornered the British on the beaches of the English Channel after the collapse of French resistance in 1940 and issued surrender demands. The Tommies trapped on the beaches of Dunkirk flashed this message to London when all seemed lost.

It was instantly understood by those who heard it--a passage from the Book of Daniel---three of the Chosen People are ordered by the Babylonian king to worship the golden image with the alternative being tossed into the furnace. The Hebrews defy him saying:

17 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
18 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

The faith of Shadrich and his buddies saved them and they emerged from the furnace unscathed.

In 1940, the "miracle of Dunkirk" followed and the rest is history. It is one of the best expressions of faith, and defiance in the face of evil, in the Old Testament. George Will wrote an article in 1983 on the decline of civilization that began with that quote that hung on the refrigerator at home for years. Whenever things seem hopeless, do the right thing and remember: "but if not."

Light posting warning

I have a one-day jury trial in federal court tomorrow so I will have to leave the play-by-play analysis to the pros.

My Election Predictions

1. The next vice president will have a son in Iraq;

2. The loser tonight will not turn to his militia and say: "have at it."

3. The sun will come up tomorrow.

Say "happy birthday"

to Meg Ryan, who will turn 47 in two weeks:

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My Apologies

Sorry about the screwy layout thingy. It seems to have had something to do with a couple of vids that the LMC posted. Not having the finesse to do anything more surgical, I simply yanked them - sorry about that, LMC.

So the question is whether the snafu was our fault or whether there wasn't something embedded in the embeds to bring it about.

Or am I just being paranoid?

This won't play well in western Pennsylvania

Stout hearts

Because we will not go quietly into the night, we will not finish without a fight

Resistance is Futile

Jeri Ryan, age 40:

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"1984"

Bottoming out like the stock market

The price of regular unleaded hit $1.99 a gallon at a number of gas stations around the vast real estate holdings which comprise Fort LMC. I never thought I would live to see it that low. Where are the investigations about Big Oil?

The Tide Has Turned. Will The One Be Able To Walk On The Water?

I have no doubt that the momentum is swinging in the direction of Little Mac. The only question in my mind is whether it has turned in time and in sufficient force to wash The One away.

In my humble opinion:

Those who genuinely believe The One will provide the kind of leadership this country needs are honest fools.

Those who support The One because they want to "get back" at eight years of Chimpy McHallinaziRovezombieShrubman are damned fools.

Those who support The One because they think they've got a shot at feasting from the trough that a government in full Donk control would fill to the brim with swill (many of whom reside in my neck of the woods) are just plain damned.

By the bye, if The One does succeed in pulling it off, my new name for him is going to be the Golden Calf. Mark my words: You'll know exactly what I mean soon enough.

VP Nomination Flashback

because you need to hear it. Younger, smarter, and better looking.

Steve-O, this long-distance dedication is for you

Helen Hunt, going strong at 45:

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