REUNION STICKER SHOCK

My 25th is at the end of next month in that quintessential sleepy college town of Lexington, Virginia, known to generations of students as Metro-Lex. One thing that seems to have gone up since I graduated (the second time) is the price of reunioning--the hotel is setting us back 350 pesos and the reunion fee is $205 a head. I have fond memories of the agressive student loan portfolio I acquired during my years at Washington and Lee so this had better be worth it. I shudder to think what tuition must be.

UPDATE: Monica Mink tells me not to sweat it for we will have a blast. That may be so, but I will get clipped again next year for even more when Robbo and I return with our spouses and progeny for the 20th law school reunion and shakedown.

Yips! from Robbo: Cripes, the way things are going, the Orgle Manor Comptroller's Office tells me the only way we may be able to afford to go is if we can work out some kind of progeny barter deal! (Will trade daughter for open bar.)

SHINY!

Saffron surfaces, thanks to the good folks at Special Agent Bedhead. Here she is, back in the Firefly day:

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MO DO, PREDICTABLY AT IT AGAIN

This time calling for a woman to be elected Pope. Read Kathryn Jean Lopez at NRO on the Pontiff and the European sexual abuse scandal--it is worth it. KJL nails it, the problem with the Catholic Church is it did not ruthlessly enforce standards, be it doctrinal or otherwise. (Via Hot Air) My personal take on the proper approach to take on the sex abuse scandal is attributed to the present archbishop of Boston: admit the wrongs, compensate the victims, and sell whatever it takes to do it and if we are left attending Mass in open fields, so be it.

Wyatt Not?

Last evening I popped in the videotape (filched from Mrs. LMC, I believe) of Tombstone.

During the theatre scene, in which we're introduced to the lovely and talented Dana Delany, I couldn't help noticing again that the Dr. Faustus pantomine was performed to teh strains of Camille Saint-Saens' Danse Macabre.

"Tom?" I axed myself, "Can this be historically right? Can Ms. Delany possibly be exposing herself to an inaccuracy? Surely it's my responsibility to come to the defense of her honor!"

Well, some quick checking shows that all is well. The gunfight at the OK Corral, which this scene precedes by a few days, occured on October 26, 1881. The symphonic version of Danse Macabre debuted in Paris in 1874 and was insanely popular. Seven years was plenty of time for it to make its way to a go-go mining boomtown like Tombstone.

Whew!

Hey, I'd be her huckleberry anytime.

MY GAL MICHELLE NAILS IT

How the Left manufactures bogus threats as a means of cutting off dissent. From NRO

Happy Birthday, Mr. Spock

Leonard Nimoy turns 79 today. "Surely, the best of times."

And now for some of the worst.....

Fascinating.

FACEBOOK FRIENDING

Mrs. LMC and I are new to Facebook. Last night I realized that many of my high school acquaintances are now devotees of one lefty cause or another judging by their "friend of" affiliations. Time for a little balancing so I added Sarah Palin, Margaret Thatcher, National Right to Life, the NRA, the Red Cross, and the U.S. Army War College.

SAMSUNG WHITE ELEPHANT

Faithful readers will recall I hauled a Samsung side-by-side fridge from Orgle Manor last summer. A few days ago, it started to make an odd sound which steadily grew louder. Mrs. LMC could not locate a service tech for this sort of behemoth anywhere near the vast real estate holdings which comprise Fort LMC. Fortunately, we localized the sound to the freezer side and a helpful customer service gal surmised it must be the freezer fan. We deduced a progressively louder sound might mean it was just ice building up. We let it defrost and saved the day, Crisis averted.

Yips! from Robbo: Sorry, brother. I forgot to mention the family of squirrels living in there.

Gratuitous Hollywood/Gomorrah Observation

Another bimbo erupts in the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James meltdown.

I haven't paid much attention to the story except to feel sorry for the delightful and talented Ms. Bullock being so publicly humiliated like this, especially as she seems like a pretty decent sort by Hollywood standards.

Nonetheless, I've got to ask: The guy calls himself "Jesse James". He's billed out as a teevee personality, a motorcycle hog and a "bad boy". He used to be a heavy metal bodyguard. He's tattooed like a Persian rug. He'd been married twice before (including once to a pron star).

Um...Ms. Bullock? What in the name of God were you thinking?

Gratuitous Nats Posting (TM) - Rounding Into the Pre-Season Straight Division

May I just point out to all of you who jumped up and down on me early last week about the Nats 0-11 spring training start that they're 5-3 since then?

So thhhhhpppttt!!!!

Some totally random team notes which may be of interest to more local readers:

- I was quite surprised when I first read the team got rid of Elijiah Dukes, as was most of the press. But the almost complete lack of follow-up questioning or criticism suggests to me that there must, in fact, have been a pretty durn good reason for it.

- Pace a friend of mine who has entered the WaPo's annual PEEPS Diorama Contest with a dramatization of Stephen Strasburg's First Pitch, I'm glad that he's being sent to the minors for a while. No point in rushing things, especially as we're not likely to contend this year.

- So catcher Jesus Flores is to start the year on the disabled list. This is news? In a way, I'm kind of glad only because it gives Wil Nieves more playing time. Nieves is known at Orgle Manor as "Pie Man" because of an incident two years ago in which he, having never hit a home run in 13 years in the League, won a game against the Cubs with a Bottom 9th, 2 strike walk-off to right. As he was being interviewed after the game by (I think) the lovely and talented Debbi Taylor, he got a shaving-cream pie right in the face from his teammates. Hy-larity ensued among the Llama-ettes.

- Start Ian Desmond at short. Why not? He's young and exciting. Give him a chance! And if Guzman sulks, chop him.

- Mrs. Robbo surprised me with the presentation of an Adam Dunn tee-shirt the other day. Dunn's signed on for this year and is in negotiations to extend his contract another couple, so I hope that goes through. He's going to end his career as a DH somewhere, but for now he's at least adequate at 1st. I do wish he'd stop hanging his wad of gum out the corner of his mouth, though.

- Somewhat off topic, but the last team jerseys of any sort I owned were the 'Fins Bob Griese #12 and Larry Csonka #39, so that puts it back a bit.

- I'm looking forward to seeing Nyger Morgan back in center. He reminds me of Deon Sanders a little too much in his showmanship shtick, but he's mighty entertaining to watch play.

The Doctor Is In

Dr. Krauthammer spots the other 800 lb gorilla in the, er, examination room:

But then I think there is a larger issue here. I think ultimately Obama understands that he has just added an unbelievably large entitlement onto a country drowning in debt. He is not stupid. I think he anticipated this, and I think he, from the beginning, had a plan.

And the plan is he is going to use the deficit reduction commission, which will report only after November — and I'm absolutely sure it will recommend something new in American history, a national sales tax which is called a VAT [value-added tax] in Europe.

All the Europeans who have the kind of entitlements America is now going to have — health care and all the others — need the VAT, because it's a gusher of income for the government. And once you have that — even the very small level of one percent or two of a national sales tax — that's how the liberals think they will be able to fund this new, very expanded entitlement state.

It's the way it's done in Europe. It's going to have to be done here. And that, I think, is going to be the argument in the presidential election of 2012.

I think that's exactly right.

And that's not a VAT instead of an income tax, sports fans, but in addition.

Peace In Our Time

She Who Must Not Be Named tells Israel to get with the program or drop dead.

Her argument seems to be that Israel can either make a deal with the Palestinians and their allies now or else can get herself carved to mincemeat down the road, and that this really isn't all that hard a choice since all the Pals want is to live in neighborly harmony with their Jewish friends.

Uh, huh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to LMC fav Keri Russell who turns 34 today:

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COUNT ON US TO ASK THE REALLY TOUGH QUESTIONS

Where has Ashley been lately?

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Paging Dr. Dover, Dr. Ben Dover

Like Gary, I don't have the time to get into all the minutiae and parliamentary manuevering that's going on in re ObamaCare, so I'm not sure of the exact status of things. Perhaps one of the last ditch efforts - either in Congress or the courts - will stop it, but I'm not optimistic.

No, instead I've been buying up all the Vaseline stock I can lay my hands on, because (if you'll pardon my French) it seems we are in for one super king kamaya-maya cluster-f*ck.

Dems, Pushing ZombieCare** Turn Away From "Demon Pass"

Man, I wish I had the kind of time that some people have to follow this debacle hour by hour but as it is all I can do is check in from time to time.

"As of now, the Donks have run away from the Slaughter rule (or the "Deem and Pass" option) because of the clear backlash this could create for them in November. But the Wicked Witch of the West is still putting her caucus to the thumbscrews for an up or down vote on the bill that will.not.die**!

At this point it looks as though Rep. Bart Stupak and a few of the other pro-life Dems (isn't that an oxymoron?) are all that stand between her and the biggest legislative disaster of our lifetime.

Courage, Bart.

We'll know in 24 hrs if he has the grapes to stand up to San Fran Nan.

UPDATE 3/21/10 - 4:20pm
Douche-pak caves.

Should have expected it.

My Canned Response to Those Who Asked

why I was not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day: "The family bloodline runs straight back to Ireland undiluted on both sides and I have seven brothers and sisters named for popes and saints. Any more questions?"

I noticed Jen posted something to Robbo about putting cabbage in the crock pot and soda bread somewhere. Boys and girls, the Irish, like the Scots, are not known for gourmet cuisine. There is no dishonor in admitting it. It should be pointed out however, that the Irish, also like the Scots, devoted their energies to, how shall we say, the distillation arts.

EMERGING FROM THE OPS CENTER

located amidst the vast real estate holdings which comprise Fort LMC, I cannot help but wonder about the sanity of Jesse James who thought he could do better than our girl--

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Then again, some idiot thought he could improve on--

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There is the nobody who thought he could do better than

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Does anyone remember the guy who thought he could do without

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Count on us to ask the really important questions.

Take Me Out....

Wish me luck.

This evening marks the first practice of the youngest Llama-ette's softball team. The gel is playing "transition ball" this spring, which means she's part of a gaggle of six, seven and eight year-olds who essentially don't know which way round the diamond to run yet.

Because I'm helping to coach the eldest gel's AAA team, and because I don't have any experience dealing with pure novices, I tried to be cautious in my dealings with the League about getting too involved with the youngest gel's team. The conversation went something like this:

Robbo: Well, I don't think I can be manager, but I'll be happy to help out with the coaching.

League: Okay, you're the coach.

And there we are, so to speak.

Anyhoo, it should be interesting. I'm thinking that the best way to instill those basic softball skills into the team's collective little mind is to take Crash Davis's advice and scare 'em:

Oh, and speaking of coaching the eldest gel, she and I are going to sit down later this evening and watch The Bad News Bears together. You know, just to get in the proper frame of mind.

Because It's Friday

I've received a ton of queries in the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack of late that read, "Tom, where the hell are the Llamas?"

Well, I know things have been a bit sparse and I apologize for that. For myself, I can only say that for Lent I've tried to stay off the lighter, more smart-assed screediness I do here, holing up in what Steve-O calls the special room at the back of the shop (the one with the leather curtain over the door and the "no one under 18 admitted" sign next to it) and channeling "the good stuff." Shameless posting of photos of aging hotties will resume after Easter.

As for the others?

Well, I happen to know for a fact that our dark overlord Steve-O presently is lurking in his vast, underground fortress hidden under a lake in Puerto Rico. There I gather he is attempting to manipulate world financial markets and political power levers so that the Yankees have no choice but to start Elmo at 1st base this season.

Gary has taken to calling himself a "Joe-Head" and is gone on the latest Lieberman cross-country tour as a roadie. We expect him to come back after he's maxed out the Llama corporate credit card. (Sooper-sekret message to Gary: Dude, we're reviewing the invoices. $375.49 at Pedro's 'Grass' House for "office supplies"? C'mon!)

The LMC is busily scuttling back and forth between the vast but secure real estate holdings of Fort LMC and an undisclosed remote location command center. We managed to get some footage of his unit there:

Random Commuter Observation

I have noticed from time to time in my daily wanderings a certain phenomenon that puzzles me, namely that of certain young men wearing brand new-looking baseball caps with all the manufacturer's stickers still stuck to the brims.

I say this puzzles me because I'm sure there's a point to this look but I don't really understand what it is. What, exactly, is it meant to signify? Purchasing power? Too cool to care? Pure anti-establishment statement? Frankly, I think the practice fails on all of these grounds.

Then again, when worn this way such caps simply look stolen. Perhaps that's the image these sportsmen seek to create.

Just curious.

Today My Name Is Robbo O'Llama

I accidentally picked out a green tie this morning, completely forgetting what day it is.

Now I'm being subjected to all sorts of comments about the wearing o' the green for St. Paddy, and my protests of innocence are being met with flat disbelief. And it's near useless to point out that Scots and Irishmen really dislike being mistaken for each other.

Oh, well. May as well go with the flow and have a couple pints o' Guinness at lunch.

Random Commuter Observation

I've got no brief for the "ribbon culture" in general, but it strikes me that a bumper sticker featuring a pink ribbon and the legend "Save the Ta-Ta's" goes beyond the ordinary goopiness and into the realm of plain bad taste.

Especially if the car is being driven by a guy.

Gratuitous Nats Posting (TM) - "And The Horse You Rode In On" Division

A good Bleachers Report column today on why the Nats' 0-10 start in the preseason is meaningless, including an interesting breakdown of all of last year's MLB spring training and regular season averages.

So for all of you out there snarking away about it, let me just say that you're going to rue the day. I'm talking imminent rueage.

GO, NATS!!!

Random Commuter Observation

Surely the first Monday of Daylight Savings Time is one of the most wretched mornings of the year, especially when it's pouring rain.

On the other hand, I spotted a bumper sticker today that read, "W.W.S.D - What Would Scooby Doo?"

Probably an old one, but I hadn't seen it before and it made me smile.

Gratuitous Nats Posting - "Don't Get Cocky" Division

Friend O' the Llamas and Phillies fan Mink Monica talks a little smack in the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack:

OMG are the Nats SRSLY like, 0-8? PHILADELPHIA DELENDA EST? I do not think that phrase means what you think it means.

I'll skip the standard you-can't-judge-the-team-by-its-spring-training-especially-when-they're-trying-out-a-bunch-of-new-guys line (although I guess I didn't, really) and just make this prediction instead:

The Nats ain't gonna win the division this year. They are going to make somebody else's season absolute hell. What's that they say about Pride and Falls?

The real deal kicks off Easter Monday right here in Nats Town. Better polish that sword up real good, Monica!

GO, NATS!!!

ROTC ON THE RISE

Enrollment is up. By way of full disclosure, ROTC was the source of my commission nearly 25 years ago.

ANOTHER CELEB WHOSE CAREER IS ON THE SKIDS

MSN brings us this tidbit: Lady GaGa is "open" to a dating another woman. Longtime readers of this blog will recognize the trifecta that marks a starlet's career which is on the ropes: photo shoots in skin magazines, movies on the estrogen channels, and suggestions of lesbian experimentation.

Random Commuter Observations

For the past day or two, my metro commute has been papered over with flyers, posters and billboards from something called Accenture. (Apparently, they're hiring.)

It occurs to me that, what with the general trend in marketing these days, I don't even know if "Accenture" is supposed to be a car, a computer software system or some new guys' E.D. drug.

No Salt For YOU!

Ah, Spring! When a guvmint busybody's mind turns to more regulatory cowbell:

MYFOXNY.COM - Some New York City chefs and restaurant owners are taking aim at a bill introduced in the New York Legislature that, if passed, would ban the use of salt in restaurant cooking.

"No owner or operator of a restaurant in this state shall use salt in any form in the preparation of any food for consumption by customers of such restaurant, including food prepared to be consumed on the premises of such restaurant or off of such premises," the bill, A. 10129 , states in part.

The legislation, which Assemblyman Felix Ortiz , D-Brooklyn, introduced on March 5, would fine restaurants $1,000 for each violation.

I understand that a couple of other bills are in the works, including:

- Mandatory replacement of all current dessert menu items with beets;

- A strict "forty chews per swallow" rule; and

- A new "Take a mint? Lose a finger!" policy.

Random Headlines Question

Who the heck is Corey Haim?

SPRING FEEEVAAHHH!!!!

Man, it's been a balmy 55 degrees the last couple of days here in the Nutmeg State. I swear I've taken at least four walks around the office building per day since Monday.

Throw in a Shamrock Shake and I am a happy guy. I can actually feel my skin absorbing the vitamin D.

Honestly, this is how I've been feeling lately:

Can't you dig the sunshine?

BTW, Jan totally gets screwed out of her close-up in this routine.

Simple Pleasures

Genuine Sam Jackson fans are probably already well aware of this, but it was only as I ran off Die Hard 3 last evening that I suddenly realized that the scene in The Incredibles where the panicky cop pulls a gun on Jackson's Frozone as he reaches for a cup of water in the jewelry shop is a riff on the scene in DH3 where the panicky cop pulls a gun on Jackson's Zeus as he reaches for the telephone at the subway station. The animators of The Incredibles even make the cop look like the original. The voice over is even an imitation of his delivery. And Jackson does himself in full self-reference mode.

Alas, a quick check of IMDB shows that it wasn't actually the same guy playing the part in DH3 and doing the voice-over in The Incredibles, but I suppose you can't have everything.

Still, I was mighty tickled by this little throwaway bit.

You're No Good, Winnie, And You Never Were

I see where Winnie Mandela is back in the nooz, this time accusing Nelson of selling out:

Nelson Mandela has been accused by his former wife of betraying South Africa's black population.

In a savage attack, Winnie Mandela said he had done nothing for the poor and should not have accepted the Nobel peace prize with the man who jailed him, FW de Klerk.

The 73-year-old said her ex-husband had become a 'corporate foundation' who was 'wheeled out' only to raise money for the ANC party he once led.

She also said, "Boy, have I got a necklace for that guy."

Okay, I made that last part up.

I was in college at the People's Glorious Soviet of Middletown during the height of the Divest, Now! craze, when mock shanty-towns were going up around campus.

I had two basic worries about the movement. One was that in the context of the then-serious Cold War between us and the Soviets, the geopolitical danger of the Russian Bear picking up a new "client" state on the southern tip of Africa necessitated that America do nothing imprudent that would cause a collapse of the S.A. government and allow Ivan to waltz in.

The other, related, concern was that regardless of what anyone thought about Nelson Mandela himself, the group behind him contained a great many radicals, villains, megalomaniacs and loose cannons in its senior ranks, starting with Winnie her own self.

I aired both of these views at the time and caught a considerable amount of flak for them.

Well, the Soviets collapsed, of course, before my first worry could be proven legitimate or not. But my second worry has, I think, been more than justified since then.

Denial Ain't Just A River On Planet Pandora

Not that I pay any attention to the Oscars as a rule, but I am pleased to read that a movie about real people in the real world got Best Picture instead of one about computer-animated make-believe Noble Savages. I am even more pleased that Avatar apparently didn't pull anything higher than "Best Computer-Geek Tricks." You can put a lot of hi-tech whistles and bells on long-haired hippie crap, but it still smells just as bad. (Sooper-sekret message to James Cameron: HA-ha!)

Indeed, I may even have to see The Hurt Locker, although I don't have much of a stomach for that kind of thing. Danger UXB was hard enough for me to sit through.

Random Commuter Observations

They're planting pansies along the sidewalks in my part of Your Nation's Capital today.

Woo Hoo! I can't remember the last time I was this ready for the arrival of spring.....

BECAUSE I HAVE A THING FOR BRUNETTES OF A CERTAIN AGE

I am pulling for Sandra Bullock tomorrow night.

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How The Hell Did This Gal Ever Get Command?

KMR directed me to today's drama, the relief of one Captain Holly Graf for cruelty to her crew. CAPT Graf's temperment came as no surprise to those who served with her so I wonder how the hell she got as far as she did.

Oh Sir. It’s Only A Tiny Wafer-Thin Mint!

Looks like Captain Amazing has decided to introduce a new “much smaller” Obamacare bill. He hasn’t gotten the message yet that the majority of the American people are full and are not interested in the even a morsel of the current monstrosity sitting in Congress.

What could go wrong?

Bon Apetit!