December 31, 2009
This Long Distance Dedication Goes Out To Mo Do
who seems distraught that The One is not living up to her expectations. Mo Do, rest assured, your humble LMC has just what you need:
Because the LLamas care, that's why.
Oh, Great
I was perusing The Jawa Report when the four-year old walked in, took one look of this Photoshopped pic of Madonna and Britney doing the lip-lock with Han and Chewbacca looking on. Naturally, she asked: "Why are girls kissing girls?" No doubt this will come up again in church when she is at the altar will all the other kiddies and the priest is taking comments from the peanut gallery.
December 30, 2009
Spin, Baybee, Spin!
Get this: The Press were shills for Dubya and are picking on The One unfairly.
No, really. Stop laughing. It's true. It's true, you damned, dirty apes!
Eight years ago, a terrorist bomber’s attempt to blow up a transatlantic airliner was thwarted by a group of passengers, an incident that revealed some gaping holes in airline security just a few months after the attacks of Sept. 11. But it was six days before President George W. Bush, then on vacation, made any public remarks about the so-called shoe bomber, Richard Reid, and there were virtually no complaints from the press or any opposition Democrats that his response was sluggish or inadequate.That stands in sharp contrast to the withering criticism President Barack Obama has received from Republicans and some in the press for his reaction to Friday’s incident on a Northwest Airlines flight heading for Detroit.
You know why, of course. Any criticism of Dubya would have elicited a visit by trenchcoat-clad goons in the night. We all know how many Undesirables were shipped off to the Dick Cheney Reeducation Camp during his regime.
On the other hand, The One - ahem, eight years later and, apparently not, wiser - is still busy distributing unicorns, and shouldn't be taken to task for his late response, however tardy or fluffy it might be.
In Case You Happen To Be Without Plans This New Year's Eve
Then you must watch this 7-part (and 70 minute total) complete takedown of Lucas' folly (The Phantom Menace). For those who haven't seen it, it went so viral even National Review picked it up.
It's not only spot on (commanding an uncanny understanding of coherent film making), but it's high-larious to boot. Each clip is a digestible ten minutes long - scroll along the bottom at the end to find the other parts. Or go directly to YouTube.com, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Oh, and one other thing - blue language warning!!
In any event - Happy New Year all!!!!!
Pop Quiz
Wow. Read this:
Before he left for vacation, Obama tried to shed his Spock mien and juice up the empathy quotient on jobs. But in his usual inspiring/listless cycle, he once more appeared chilly in his response to the chilling episode on Flight 253, issuing bulletins through his press secretary and hitting the links. At least you have to seem concerned.On Tuesday, Obama stepped up to the microphone to admit what Janet Napolitano (who learned nothing from an earlier Janet named Reno) had first tried to deny: that there had been “a systemic failure” and a “catastrophic breach of security.”
But in a mystifying moment that was not technically or emotionally reassuring, there was no live video and it looked as though the Obama operation was flying by the seat of its pants.
Given that every utterance of the president is usually televised, it was a throwback to radio days — just at the moment we sought reassurance that our security has finally caught up to “Total Recall.”
All that TV viewers heard, broadcast from a Marine base in Kaneohe Bay, was the president’s disembodied voice, talking about “deficiencies.”
Citing the attempt of the Nigerian’s father to warn U.S. authorities six months ago, the president intoned: “It now appears that weeks ago this information was passed to a component of our intelligence community but was not effectively distributed so as to get the suspect’s name on a no-fly list.”
In his detached way, Spock was letting us know that our besieged starship was not speeding into a safer new future, and that we still have to be scared.
Heck of a job, Barry.
Quick - who wrote it? Goldberg? Kristol? Steyn?
Would you believe MoDo?
Read the rest. She goes on to do some reflexive (and incoherent) Cheney-bashing, of course, but still.....when the Gray Lady's tame cougar is criticizing you for not being hawkish enough, you're in serious trouble.
A New Year's Point Of Order - "Wait For It" Division
From the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack:
"Tom, do you have any words of Llama wisdom for the end of the decade?"
Well, perhaps I will if I'm spared long enough, but the query is premature. 2010 will be the last year of the first decade of the 21st Century, not the first year of the second decade.
So no "End of the Decade" posting here. Not yet.
That is all.
(I didn't have a blog back in 2000, so couldn't air my grievances on-line against those morons who mistakenly thought it to be the first year of the 21st Century, so this is a point that's been festering in the depths of my "brain" for some time now.)
December 28, 2009
And I Thought I Was Eloquent After A Few Beers A Time Or Two
Via Hot Air.
Seriously, Max sounds like he (a) has a speech impediment no one ever pointed out before; (b) suffered a transient ischemic attack; (c) hit the sauce before taking to the floor; or (d) has not slept in 36 hours.
Yips! From Robbo: Actually, it sounds an awful lot like self in the first round of the International Moot Court competition I argued at William & Mary (aka "Bill and the Bitch") my third year of law school at 7 ack emma after a late night pub-crawl with my team-mates (INCLUDING the LMC, whose fear of arrest by the local constabulary for DWI, I need not mention). Damme if I remember what I said, but I understand that the judges of that round found my presentation to be pretty durn good.
The sequel was much uglier: I argued my second round just after lunch with a wicked pissah hangovah, heightened by the fact that my opponent was a weedy little dork from Duke who had a simply fabulous babe in tow who was evidently nuts about him. I recall that I couldn't remember any of my arguments at that point and resorted to abusing my opponent for being such a freakin' nerd as to take International Law seriously.
Suffice to say, we tanked.
LMC YIPS: It was, as they say, a weekend to remember. Note to the old alma mater: never send four second-semester third-year law students on an out-of-town moot court trip. Said foursome will treat it like an all-expenses-paid congressional junket, i.e, nothing productive will come of it. We did not come in dead last but almost.
Today My Name Is Robboluigi
I may as well confess it here and now - before it comes out in a distorted form after the LMC & family visit Orgle Manor for New Year's - that yes, over the past few days I have been practicing Mario Kart racing on the Wii when nobody is around.
This isn't because I especially enjoy it. Rayther, it's because of the overriding parental policy need to avoid getting thrashed by the Llama-ettes every time they invite me to play against them.
The facade of Daddy's Omnipotence is crumbling away fast enough. I don't want to let anything accelerate that process any more than necessary.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
Between the excellent nooz of the return of Gary and the fact that we're also out of our bandwidth max-out hiatus before the end of the month, I can't help sensing that the Llama is BACK, baybee!
Hear the orgle!
Required Reading
Andrew McCarthy at NR on the attempt to blow up a plane this weekend. This jihadist is not a common criminal; he is a terrorist who should have been transferred to military custody and interrogated as an unlawful combatant.
"All Is WELL!!!" **
Janet Napolitano, Grand Poo-Bah of DHS, on the near-bombing of that Detroit flight on Christmas:
Once the incident took PLACE the system worked? What in blue blazes is that supposed to mean? Dammit, Janet, the system is supposed to stop this sort of thing happening in the first place, not just react afterwards.
The middle Llama-ette is scheduled to fly down to Florida next week to visit her grandparents as a 10th birthday present, but I'm beginning to wonder whether I really should be betting her life on DHS's assurances that it knows what the hell it's doing.
**UPDATE: I should have noted that the title was spot-the-quote bait. Should be an easy one.
December 26, 2009
Breaking News From Celebutopia!!!
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins are splitsville.
Publicist Teal Cannady said in a statement that the two actors separated over the summer after 23 years together. She did not elaborate.Sarandon, 63, and Robbins, 51, met while shooting the 1988 film "Bull Durham." They have two sons together.
What's really the only shocking aspect of this story?
Susan Sarandon is 63.
Sixty-freakin'-three? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?!?!?
Words fail me other than to simply quote Beyonce: Hey Tim - If ya liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.
December 24, 2009
A Christmas Message From the Ex-Donk
Hello faithful readers (and lurkers)! A regular contributor of this blog - me - has been laying low for some time while acclimating myself to the new job. I'm happy to report that most aspects of my life are somewhat back on a normal footing but there have been many loose ends to tie up in the interim.
It's been a volatile year in things both political and cultural and I've been keeping an eye on both while tending to matters on the home front.
I want to wish Robert, Steve, the LMC and all the intermittent posters here at the Butcher Shop a most happy and healthy Christmas and prosperous new year.
Now that things have "settled" down for me I plan on returning to regular appearances once we've successfully crossed over into the new year.
Remember your blessings and hold on to them dearly this wonderful time of year!
All the best -
- Gary
December 21, 2009
On This Cold Snowy Night
my heart is warmed by knowledge that wreaths decorate the graves of all who sleep in Arlington. RIP, Dad.
December 19, 2009
"The Blessings And The Victory Lap:"
My wife's shorthand for our progeny. You get to figure our why.
December 18, 2009
Storm Of The Century Of The Week Watch - "The Shunning" Edition
Now pardon me while I scurry off in full panic mode to stock up on toilet paper, bottled water and flares.....
UPDATE: Tried to post this earlier but had technical problems. (My home computer sometimes has serious issues with Blogsnot. Go figure.) At any rate, now you understand the joke in the title:
Yips! to Mr. Right.
December 17, 2009
Robbo Would Not Approve
I doubt it is faithful to the classic The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire which certainly graces Robbo's bookshelves at stately Orgle Manor. But the flick does have one redeeming aspect, it features this Bollywood babe:
YIPS! from Robbo: In fact, I rented this from Netflix some time within the past year and, truth be told, found it oddly appealling, in part due to the aforementioned Bollywood Babe and in part due to the sheer comedic value of watching Colin Firth try to play a battle-hardened Roman Army commander. If that really was the kind of material Rome had to work with in the 5th Century A.D., no wonder the Empire was overrun by the barbarians.
Ho, Ho, No!
Santa Claus - Kindly old symbol of the Spirit of Giving or Angel of Death?
Traditional images of Santa Claus set a bad example and could promote obesity and drink-driving, a public health expert has warned.Dr Nathan Grills from Monash University in Australia said the idea of a fat Father Christmas gorging on brandy and mince pies as he drove his sleigh around the world delivering presents was not the best way to promote a healthy and safe lifestyle among the young.
Writing on bmj.com, Dr Grills said: "Santa only needs to affect health by 0.1 per cent to damage millions of lives."
He said the image of a healthier Santa could be very effective in promoting a positive message about diet and lifestyle to the young.
Dr Grills carried out a review of literature and web-based material to assess Santa's potential negative impact on public health.
The investigation revealed very high Santa awareness among children, with children in America stating he was the only fictional character more highly recognised than Ronald McDonald.
Dr Grills also claimed the image of Santa was often used to promote unhealthy products such as soft drinks.
He wrote:"Like Coca-Cola, Santa has become a major export item to the developing world."
While Santa is now banned from smoking, images of him enjoying a pipe or cigar can still be found on Christmas cards.
Father Christmas could also potentially promote drink-driving, argued Grills, referring to the tradition of leaving Santa Claus a brandy to wish him well on his travels.
I know a certain "public health expert" who's working pretty hard to make the naughty list this year.
Random Historickal Observation
According to Livy, a Roman commander who successfully "delivered an army from siege" was awarded a laurel of grass cut from the beleaguered area. He mentions this in connection with a certain Publius Decius, whose quick thinking saved a Roman army in a battle in Samnium in 343 B.C.
I think that's pretty neat. Can't wait to work it into the office holiday party conversation somewhere.
Random Office Observation
Few words chill the heart of Robbo more thoroughly than, "The office holiday party will start in ten minutes."
Going to be a loooooong afternoon.
December 16, 2009
How Low Can We Go?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Jonah Goldberg:
The Los Angeles Times reported the other day that the reality-show industry is suddenly having a crisis of conscience about its impact on the culture. That’s nice to hear, but it’s not nearly enough.British historian Arnold Toynbee argued that civilizations thrive when the lower classes aspire to be like the upper classes, and they decay when the upper classes try to be like the lower classes. Looked at through this prism, it’s hard not to see America in a prolonged period of decay.
It’s not all bad news, to be sure. The elite minority’s general acceptance of racial and sexual equality as important values has been a moral triumph. But not without costs. As part of this transformation, society has embraced what social scientist Charles Murray calls “ecumenical niceness.” A core tenet of ecumenical niceness is that harsh judgments of the underclass — or people with underclass values — are forbidden. A corollary: People with old-fashioned notions of decency are fair game.
Long before the rise of reality shows, ecumenical niceness created a moral vacuum. Out-of-wedlock birth was once a great shame; now it’s something of a happy lifestyle choice. The cavalier use of profanity was once crude; now it’s increasingly conversational. Self-discipline was once a virtue; now self-expression is king.
Reality-show culture has thrived in that moral vacuum, accelerating the decay and helping to create a society in which celebrity is the new nobility. One senses that Richard Heene thought — maybe still thinks — that the way to make his kids proud of him was to land a reality show. Paris Hilton, famous for being famous thanks in part to a “reality” sex tape released days before her 2003 reality show The Simple Life, is now a cultural icon of no redeeming value whatsoever.
Goldberg goes on to make the point that when people like Tiger Woods and Paris Hilton behave like trash, they can get away with it because they have the financial resources to cushion the impact. Whereas the average person is much more likely to suffer tangible harm as a result of such behavior. (This is, in fact, the old "Murphy Brown" argument.)
What's the way out of this? What reverses the trend? At what point will "celebrity" give way to a healthier system of values?
Frankly, I think we've probably got too far down the "bread and circuses" road for society to correct itself internally. People - the people who ought to know better - are too fat and happy, too complaisant to see any particular reason for change. I greatly fear that they only will when confronted with some kind of catastrophe - war, revolution, plague, the rise of the machines, a killer comet - that will force them to do so.
UPDATE: Speaking of eternal catastrophes, here's something to spoil your day: Turns out the Yellowstone Caldera is a whooooooole lot bigger than anyone thought before. If (as my brother is wont to worry) that thing ever goes, then society's troubles will be over because we'll all be dead.
Robbo Is Currently Listening To....
Just by way of relief from the usual holiday tunes, many of which - as long time Llama fans will know - I don't much like.
I do happen to like "Good King Wenceslas", although I've always thought those last three drawn out notes at the end of the tune were an admission by its composer that he had run out of ideas and simply couldn't think of any other way to round it off.
December 15, 2009
Gratuitous Office Observation
One of the many decrees I intend to issue when I become Emperor of the World will be one stating that people making presentations who do nothing more than read their Powerpoint slides verbatim will be shot on sight.
I have not yet decided whether I shall also have the creators of Powerpoint shot for giving said presenters such an option, but I'm giving it some serious consideration.
That is all.
December 14, 2009
One More Seat To Add To Tossup
Hot Air brings this on competitive congressional races. The 2d district of Virginia traditionally votes Republican but elected Glenn Nye in 2008, a first-term Dem feeling the heat from the far-Lefties and Republicans eager to reclaim the seat. Nye's ads never mention party affiliation but the Republican ads write themselves. I will make the bold prediction someone is going to unearth a photo of the incumbent with Madam Speaker and make her the face of Nye's campaign.
Robbo, I Am Using Your News Tip
Natalie, guns, abs, and an Israeli---an unbeatable combination.
Yes, I am that shallow. This is even more fodder for why I will never run for public office or put my name in consideration for anything requiring congressional approval.
Another Milestone
Whoa. I just now noticed that the ol' Llama sitemeter has gone rocketing past the 2 million hits mark! Judging by recent traffic, it must have happened either yesterday or the day before. Alas, there's no way to tell who the 2 millionth visitor was, so no autographed Llama thong this time around. Perhaps when we hit 3 mil.
Granted, most of our recent traffic has been from people searching for images of Heather Locklear in a tub of jello and the like, but still.....not too shabby for a beat up, on-again/off-again, creaky old ride, eh?
On behalf of the rest of the Llama Posse, all I can say to those of you who wander in here, either on a regular basis or only after you've gone and huffed too much carbon monoxide from your tailpipe again, is thank you for your support. (We'll be sure to wash it out before we give it back. Ba-BUMP-dah!)
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
Nerds
Via the Puppy-Blender comes a list of "basic sexual rights" from some outfit calling itself the "Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality". My favorite:
8. The recognition by society that every person, partnered or unpartnered, has the right to the pursuit of a satisfying consensual sociosexual life free from political, legal or religious interference and that there need to be mechanisms in society where the opportunities of sociosexual activities are available to the following: disabled persons; chronically ill persons; those incarcerated in prisons, hospitals or institutions; those disadvantaged because of age, lack of physical attractiveness, or lack of social skills; and the poor and the lonely.
This is brilliant - I only wish I had thought of it myself back in high school.
Self: But why won't you go out on a date with me?
Beautiful Babe: You're a dork, that's why.
Self: Hey - those of us disadvantaged because of lack of physical attractiveness and lack of social skills have a right to sociosexual activities, too! Take off your top, you bigot, or I'll sue you!
News The LMC Can Use
Natalie Portman to star in a movie version of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies:
If all of the film adaptations of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" have left your brain numb, this one may really kill you ... in a good way.Natalie Portman has signed on to produce and star in the movie version of the best-selling book "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," written by Seth Grahame-Smith and, uh, Jane Austen.
This expanded version of the Austen classic adds a twist on the well-known love story when the outbreak of a deadly virus begins to turn townsfolk into killers. Elizabeth Bennet struggles to balance her blossoming love for Mr. Darcy with her obligation to kick some zombie butt.
And who better to bring the right combination of elegance, wit, and edginess to the role of Elizabeth Bennet than Portman? She certainly has the chops to convince us to embrace this version of Elizabeth -- a woman who at long last will have a proper outlet for her sense of purpose.
Sure, zombies may seem like a peculiar addition to the original text, but there is something about the outbreak of the undead in 19th-century England that somehow makes the story more accessible.
Have to admit that I am mighty conflicted about this. On the one hand, there's the desecration of literature. On the other, well, there's Natalie Portman's abs.
What's a Llama to do?
I think that the LMC will agree with me that in the name of fairness, further research of the matter is needed. We'll go see the movie then pass judgment on it.
UPDATE: I forgot to ask - Since when is Natalie Portman considered to be a particularly conspicuous example of "elegance and wit"? From all I've seen, she's got the wit of a box of rocks and the elegance of one of those android house servants from Woody Allen's Sleeper.
But those abs, now.....
Robbo Is Currently Listening To.....
(With more apologies to Mr. FLG.)
A conversation at work:
Co-Employee: "How are the Christmas preparations coming? Are your kids starting to ask for things?"
Self: "Starting to ask? They never stop asking."
In my moodier moments I am known to address the Llama-ettes as a"pack of Veruca Salts". In response, they have taken to saying, "Daddy, I want it nooooow!!" in Brit accents.
Ha, ha. I'd find it funnier if it didn't seem to strike so close to home.
News You Can Use
More proof that the gargle is good for what ails ye':
In research, which will be published in the British Journal of Nutrition this week, a team led by Dr Jeremy Spencer of Reading University, found that champagne has the same health benefits as previously found in red wine.It contains polyphenol antioxidants, which are believed to reduce the effects of cell-damaging free radicals in the body. In particular, these antioxidants slow down the removal of nitric oxide from the blood, lowering blood pressure and therefore reducing the risk of heart problems and strokes.
Dr Spencer told a Sunday newspaper: "We have found that a couple of glasses a day has a beneficial effect on the walls of blood vessels – which suggests champagne has the potential to reduce strokes and heart disease.
"It is very exciting news."
Indeed, although the fact of the matter is that I really don't much care for the champers - zee bubbles get up my nose and I usually end up with a very specific kind of monster headache as well. But I'm glad to see affirmation that sticking with the ol' reds produces the same effect.
Oh, and if you're on the wagon, you're not necessarily out of luck:
And the benefits are not limited to alcoholic drinks. Dr Spencer has also found high levels of the antioxidant in cocoa beans meaning a mug of hot cocoa before bedtime is just as good, but, as he points out, "it doesn't seem as much fun somehow".
Heh. I like the way Dr. Spencer thinks.
December 12, 2009
A Modest Proposal
I know I'm just one of those wild-eyed fundamentalist Jebus-worshippers, but there are few subjects I read about more chilling to me than this sort of thing:
The "inconvenient truth" overhanging the UN's Copenhagen conference is not that the climate is warming or cooling, but that humans are overpopulating the world.A planetary law, such as China's one-child policy, is the only way to reverse the disastrous global birthrate currently, which is one million births every four days.
The world's other species, vegetation, resources, oceans, arable land, water supplies and atmosphere are being destroyed and pushed out of existence as a result of humanity's soaring reproduction rate.
Ironically, China, despite its dirty coal plants, is the world's leader in terms of fashioning policy to combat environmental degradation, thanks to its one-child-only edict.
Leaving aside the fact that the real way to deal with the various issues of planetary sustainability is (as it has always been) through innovation, the bigger issue I have with this mentality is that when it is determined that one human life does not have value, it is but a short and swift downward slide to determining that no human life has value. (I need hardly remind you that China is the all-time planetary champeen, genocidal heavyweights division.) The mind that can encompass forced abortions needs very little prompting in order to take in the elimination of other "undesireables", including the old, the sick, the politically inconvenient and so on.
Meanwhile, somewhere the devil is rolling on the flaming floor, laughing his satanic ass off.
UPDATE: Steve and the Abbot prompt me to mention another aspect of this business that I failed to include in my original rant, but that also bothers me a great deal. The article quoted is from a Canadian paper. You will never find the words "Canadian" and "population explosion" in the same sentence except in a sentence like, "There never has been nor is there ever likely to be a Canadian population explosion." And these days, the same thing holds true for pretty much all of the industrialized world. Readers of Mark Steyn will know that at the current rate, within the next few generations there will no longer be such a thing as a Native European. Ditto with the Japanese. (The United States is still holding its own in terms of population replacement, but we're hardly squished in.) For whatever reason, the more prosperous a people, the fewer children they seem to produce.
No, what the author is really talking about is the teeming hordes of the Third World, all those Africans, Asians and whatnot. What right do these people have to breed? It's not as if they love their children the way we love ours - after all, they just send 'em out to slave away in the fields or barter them away for cattle. Better for everyone if we just send U.N. peacekeeping forces in on forced-sterilization missions. Or perhaps we could resurrect Marlin Perkins to fly about in a helicopter shooting contraceptive darts.
In other words, this is limousine-liberal racism at its smarmiest and oiliest.
Wasn't it Uncle Joe Stalin who said something to the effect that one death was a tragedy but ten thousand was a statistic? Dress it up the right way and you can say it's a positive virtue.
December 10, 2009
"Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"
LMC review: Michael Douglas is perfectly cast as the ghost of the main character's womanizing uncle. Money line for the flick: "Shhhh. The prophet speaks."
Climategate
Hot Air brings this sound bite; "they've got us outnumbered, but we have them out-gunned."
December 08, 2009
My Eyes, My Eyes!
Made the mistake of following the links on Fox News on the story about Lindsay Lohan's latest photo shoot. It is amazing how most forty-somethings look better than a burned out twenty-something starlet.
December 06, 2009
Donde Esta Roberto?
Este Llama esta alli, y will return-o nexte Sabatho.
In the meantime, vaya con Dios!
Yip! Yip! Yip!
December 05, 2009
I Am Sure The Nomination Was Merit-Based
just like RFK's appointment as Attorney General had nothing to do with the fact his brother occupied the Oval Office. Drudge is reporting Max Baucus nominated his girlfriend to be U.S. Attorney for the District of Montana. She withdrew her name from consideration and the president appointed someone else.
Storm of the Century of the Week Watch
Yes, Dee Cee, it's snowing this morning - Run for your lives!
Last night I had my broker buy up shares in t-p, bottled water and batteries. I reckon I'll have cleaned up enough to retire by tomorrow.
Thankyew, AlGore, for the global warming and all. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.
UPDATE: Numerous missives in the Tasty-Bits (TM) Mail Sack to the effect of "Weather isn't climate, Mr. Big Carbon-Footprinted Smarty-Pants!"
In the words of the seven year old Llama-ette, "What. EVER. Major. Loser!" I'm still going for the gratuitous dig. TTHHHPPTT!!!
Perversions Of The Language
Read Mark Falcoff's piece at NRO on how langauge has been twisted to obscure, rather than clarify. I have a few more terms:
Disenfranchise. The franchise is, of course, the right to vote. When one is disenfranchised, a person loses one's right to vote, such as when an otherwise eligible voter is convicted of a felony in most states. The term has been used to describe anyone at some disadvantage, usually a "victim" of some circumstance or another bemoaned by the Left.
Chair. Not the piece of furniture, but the head of a committee, board, or department, formerly described as the chairman. I do see any reason why a woman occupying such a position cannot be referred to the chairman, rather than the more awkward "chairwoman" which is more preferable than calling her an inanimate object. My alma mater dodged the feminists for years by using the term "Department Head."
Our diversity is our strength. This term is used entirely in the context of discrete and insular minorities (especially of the liberal sort), sounds great, and means nothing. Try "diversity is our strength" in the context of differing opinions and political views and watch how quickly opposing views (especially those of a conservative bent) become "hate speech."
C.E. as in Common Era in the calendar context, rather than A.D. , the abbreviation for the Latin term meaning "In the Year of Our Lord." The West adopted the Gregorian calendar centuries ago which is used even in areas which are not predominantly Christian. This was the rage for a while, but seems to be fading into disuse.
Feel free to offer your own suggestions.
Yips! from Robbo: What better one for the season than "Happy Holidays"? I had a young colleague tell me recently that her favorite seasonal teevee special was always PBS's "Arthur" because it showed that there really is no difference among Christmas, Hanukkah and "Kwanzaa". (Which is another way of saying that none of them means anything, of course.)
(And sooper-sekret message to the LMC - there's more for you in the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack.)
December 04, 2009
For The Third Day In A Row
Another LMC fav celebrates her birthday. This time, it is Marisa Tomei's turn--
Catholic School Parent Chronicles
Our Little Debutante scored mid-year entry to the nearest Catholic school which produced several immediate results. First, Daddy's wallet was lightened of unnecessary cash that would otherwise be frittered away in pointless pursuits. Second, your humble LMC was re-introduced to the regimented life of an elementary school under the control of Holy Mother Church. Third, I learned the importantance of not deviating from any one of a number of local practices applies not just to the student, but to the parent as well, such as: (i) no peanut butter or foil juice containers in Our Little Debutante's lunchbox; (ii) park in the prescribed drop-off area (or else!); (iii) the manila envelop which goes back in forth in the bookbag has to be laminated, despite the fact the cost and trouble of lamination is far more expensive than the cost of the envelop; and (iv) prayers start at 0755 sharp and your kid has to be in the classroom and if you are still there dropping her off, you get the fuzzy eye.
December 03, 2009
It's Beginning To Sound A Lot Like Christmas, Dammit
When I become Emperor of the World, one of my first decrees will be a global ban on the playing and/or singing of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" or any derivative or parody thereof.
Violation of this ban will be a flogging offense, the number of lashes to be determined by the cutesyness of the interpretation.
That is all.
Catching Tiger By The Tail
(Oh, ain't I clever?)
I must say I have very mixed feelings about this whole Tiger Woods bimbo eruption biznay. Probably my chief reaction is a renewed horror of the celebrity cult which has become so central to our so-called culture, and all the attendant evils that go with it.
I sorta, kinda feel sorry for Woods himself. He is, after all, only human, and in the end is as fallen as anyone else. One can only hope that he makes it through all this, patches things up with his wife, and perhaps learns a lesson or two. On the other hand, I don't believe he gets a "this is a private matter with my family so bug off" bye on this one. Woods is paid jillions of dollars for being Woods, for playing his part in the celebrity cult. Thus, I believe he's perfectly fair game for the media circus.
Not saying it's at all right from a moral standpoint, but that's the deal he made.
Or, as They Might Be Giants once sang, "Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
UPDATE: Hmm, I seem to have been tagged as a spam troll in my own comment section. (How odd is that?) What I wanted to say was that beyond a few headlines I have not really delved that deep into the story. If, as Mink Monica notes, this is a serial matter, that of course changes the balance of sympathy significantly, and not in Woods' favor.
Meanwhile, Althouse has a post re-enforcing in my mind the sick-making qualities of the celebrity cult math swirling around this business.
December 02, 2009
Too Much Info
Meredith Baxter came out of the closet on the Today show according to Drudge. This begs two questions: Who cares? People still watch Today?
Yips! from Robbo: Taranto filed this under the heading "Answers to Questions No One Is Asking" in his Best of the Web entry today.
Got it in one, I'd say.
Say Hello
This LMC fav turns 41 today:
Yips! from Robbo: All day I was saying to myself, "Self, this is LMC's territory. Don't go poaching. She will be his. Oh, yes - she will be his.
Glad to see my confidence in your instincts was justified.
Name Me No Names
There are certain people I have to deal with on a regular basis who believe that one of the keys to successful and effective communication is the constant use and repetition of one's name.
"Hi, Robbo, I was on my way to your mailbox with this file, but I can just give it to you now. See you later," isn't good enough. It has to be, "Hi, Robbo! I was on my way to your mailbox with this file, Robbo, but I can just give it to you now. Well, Robbo, see you later. Bye, Robbo!"
I find this practice to be extremely irritating, a kind of verbal invasion of privacy. (Plus, when I can't quite remember the other person's name, it can get downright embarrassing.)
December 01, 2009
Gratuitous Lunchtime Observation
It occurs to me that any alien race with either the biological or the mechanical ability to disguise itself as hand-sanitizer dispensers now has the perfect opportunity, if it desires to launch a sneak-attack on Planet Earth, to strategically position its forces with absolute impunity, with nobody the wiser until it was all over.
Just a thought.
Llama PSA
As has become tradition, the Family Robbo went off to visit my brother and his lot in the wilds of North Carolina for Thanksgiving.
The Brothe has been engaged recently in removing a chain-link fence from his back yard. While most of it is now gone, the shafts of the gateposts still stand near his basement door.
No doubt you are asking, "Tom, what can one do with such gatepost shafts until one gets around to levering them out of the concrete in which they're embedded?"
Well, I will tell you.
What you can do is use them as mortars for launching bottle-rockets. Granted that your shots will only go straight up, but on the other hand the tubes produce a most satisfying thwunk!! sound upon firing, and the concentrated gunpowder smoke pouring out of the top can be savored like the bouquet of a fine wine.
Robbo Is Currently Listening To....
Looks like I may be headed out there for a visit some time after Christmas. I've never been.
It's Beginning To Sound A Lot Like Christmas, Dammit
I'm not sure which I hate more, medleys of holiday tunes or tracks with titles like "If Bach Had Written Jingle Bells."
Now that the Thanksgiving leftovers are cold, the local classickal radio station is beginning to give both forms prominent air time. And as has become almost a tradition for me, my primary impulse is to grab a meat cleaver and start running amok.
Aaaaand We're Back
Well, it's the first o' the month, which means that your Llamas have been released from the excess bandwidth usage limbo of the Moo-Knew homeworld, once more to fulminate, bloviate, spin, fold and mutilate.
A number of people have said to me, "Tom, why don't you just pack up the Butcher's shop and move to a new host?"
Well, there are several reasons, I suppose. One is the path of least resistance, the assumption that sooner or later our Fearless Leader Pixy Misa will sort this bandwidth biznay out and the problem will go away. Another is the fact that I wouldn't even know how to migrate to a new domain. (And where would we go?) A third is the lingering belief in what passes for my mind that this is still primarily Steve-O's blog and that I have no right to mess it about without consulting him first. Fourth is that I'm just plain lazy.
At any rate, since it's no longer raining I can forget about having to fix the roof, at least for another couple weeks.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
Image courtesy of the lovely and talented 