Fearless LMC 2012 Prediction

The LMC presidential-pick approach (vote strictly on hotness) goes viral and triggers a sea change in American politics. Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin split the delegate vote and the nomination is decided in a brokered convention by the South Carolina delegation. Nikki Haley is the nominee with Michele as her running mate. The pair run on: "Younger, Smarter, and Hotter"--the tipping point in the fall campaign is the vice-presidential debate where Michele wipes the floor with Biden. The blowout is so complete that momentum in the Senate races shifts to the GOP who sweep every open seat. Republicans take control of the Senate and Mitch McConnell, his work restoring the Republican majority done, hands the gavel to Marco Rubio. Lisa Murkowski, unable to face a majority dominated by the Tea Party, unexpectedly resigns and is replaced in a special election by Sarah Palin--assisted by President Haley, Vice President Bachmann and the future commissioner of the NFL, Condi Rice.

Yours truly becomes one of the most sought-after speakers in recent history, but grants no interviews. "Unauthorized" biographies are written, old girlfriends unearthed, and derogatory pop psychological profiles are done on MSNBC. Blondes and redheads go brunette, birth control becomes passe, and large families make a comeback in numbers not seen since the 1950s. Mrs. LMC finally gets the house she wants, but only because I was unfortunate enough to deploy again and leave her with a general power of attorney.