Because It's Friday

I've received a ton of queries in the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack of late that read, "Tom, where the hell are the Llamas?"

Well, I know things have been a bit sparse and I apologize for that. For myself, I can only say that for Lent I've tried to stay off the lighter, more smart-assed screediness I do here, holing up in what Steve-O calls the special room at the back of the shop (the one with the leather curtain over the door and the "no one under 18 admitted" sign next to it) and channeling "the good stuff." Shameless posting of photos of aging hotties will resume after Easter.

As for the others?

Well, I happen to know for a fact that our dark overlord Steve-O presently is lurking in his vast, underground fortress hidden under a lake in Puerto Rico. There I gather he is attempting to manipulate world financial markets and political power levers so that the Yankees have no choice but to start Elmo at 1st base this season.

Gary has taken to calling himself a "Joe-Head" and is gone on the latest Lieberman cross-country tour as a roadie. We expect him to come back after he's maxed out the Llama corporate credit card. (Sooper-sekret message to Gary: Dude, we're reviewing the invoices. $375.49 at Pedro's 'Grass' House for "office supplies"? C'mon!)

The LMC is busily scuttling back and forth between the vast but secure real estate holdings of Fort LMC and an undisclosed remote location command center. We managed to get some footage of his unit there: