CATHOLIC GAMBLING

Last night I did four hours of volunteer work at the local Catholic elementary school by helping the Men's Club run Friday night bingo in the gym (smoking section) and the cafeteria (nonsmoking). Several observations:
1. The smoking section had plenty of smokers, lighters, and assorted ignition sources. If anyone showed up with an oxygen tank (a likely event given the number of geriatrics in there), the place woud have gone up like the Deepwater Horizon (without the attending evironmental issues).
2. The nonsmoking section was serious, as in Mass-quiet serious. The level of concentration was amazing--I watched blue-hairs cover 18 bingo cards at a time as the numbers were called off in five-second intervals. I could not have done that if my children's educations depended upon it.
3. Food, largely of the deep-fried variety, was available from a kitchen run by a crusty group of retired submariners. I gagged when a parent volunteer asked for a tuna salad, and then had the nerve to follow up on what kind of tuna (cooked or raw) was in the tuna salad.
4. True bingo players have more gear than a sport fisherman: daubers in a rainbow of colors, bingo bags to carry the daunbers, bingo seat cushions, tape to put multiple cards together for faster scanning during play, cups, munchies, talismans of various kinds for luck.
5. The pros are quick to spot any faux pas by folks running games. The caller last night muffed something and senior citizens looked like they where about to riot.