January 13, 2009

I'm Buying Some "Depends" Stock RIGHT NOW!

5000 port-o-potties for an estimated couple million impatient bowels. You do the math.

WASHINGTON - The masses heading to the inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama could spend a lot of time in line for a port-a-potty.

A George Washington University law professor says the 5,000 port-o-potties planned for Inauguration Day will be "grossly inadequate."

Professor John Banzhaf, the so-called "Father of Potty Parity" sent a letter to the Presidential Inaugural Committee warning of potential lawsuits.

He says women, who take longer in the restroom, could be forced to wait in longer lines than men, and that amounts to discrimination.

Banzhaf says waiting in long lines is not just an inconvenience. It can trigger medical problems. He's asking the Presidential Inaugural Committee to make the toilets gender-neutral so that women do not have to wait longer than men.

"Grossly inadequate" is about right. Ha, ha, ha. (I suppose that when you're the "Father of Potty-Parity" these little bon mots just come naturally.)

One thing I don't understand: Aren't port-o-potties pretty much "gender- neutral" anyway? I've never noticed them being segregated before. Indeed, my standard - in the event I'm actually driven to use one - is to pick the least disgusting.

Anyhoo, no matter what happens, the Inaugural Committee will still be able to say - of this matter at least - that all its problems are behind it.

Posted by Robert at January 13, 2009 09:56 AM | TrackBack

you certainly are on a roll with all those crappy puns. Might be time to flush this entry, or at least paper over it.

Posted by: rbj at January 13, 2009 10:11 AM

5,000 porta potties side by side on the mall makes for an interesting portrait. If you haven't seen for yourself they are wall to wall on both sides of the reflecting pool between the Lincoln and WWII memorials. Raises concerns for the environmental cleanliness of the reflecting pool by the time all this is over.

Ohhh, and even if you dont have to wait in line long...bring your own teepee.

Posted by: NOVA Curmudgeon at January 13, 2009 12:17 PM

Inadequate bathroom facilities? Yes. Overpoliticized crap about discrimination and lawsuits? Yes.

It always feels that no matter what huge outdoor event one attends, there are never enough port a potties - usually because Americans simply aren't accustomed to waiting in line, and often because outdoor events usually involve beer, so the urgency increases; add to that the natural aversion sober people have to port a potties anyway, and you have a non-flushing perfect storm.

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 13, 2009 02:21 PM

Wall-to-wall portajohns within view of the office. Just one more reason to get the hell out of DC this weekend (which I'm doing on Friday).

Posted by: ChrisN at January 13, 2009 02:23 PM

Robert - In all seriousness, I have been to many events where the porta potties were segregated. My husband tells me that the male porta potties are different from the female. You figure it out...
Enough about that, it is time to seriously think about the seeds you will be germinating this year... Last year was a complete blow out for me as we had a hail storm early in the season, soon after we placed our plants outdoors. Last year was a wipe out.
Hope springs eternal and I vowed to start the seedlings earlier than last year so they would be stronger, bigger, more able to withstand hail or whatever God placed before them... Yeah! We will prevail this year!!!!!!
So, what are your thoughts?

Posted by: babs at January 13, 2009 08:24 PM