Middle Age Fatherhood Chronicles

More random observations:

1. Having child at 46 when one's bride is 39 assures I will experience the joys of living in a household in which some occupants are in throes of puberty while another is in the grips of menopause. No doubt there will be a lot of mother-daughter drama. Fortunately, my son and I can take comfort in the paper and Fox News Sunday.
2. Much is written about going from man-to-man defense to zone when one's offspring numbers three or more. Unwritten is that you do not care if the baby gear is new or used, are not defensive about the baby going straight to formula without a stop to appease the breast-feeding fanatics, and feel no guilt about using the dishwasher to clean the bottles instead of an autoclave.
3. My son insisted last week that I take his "Transformers" pillowcase so now I must be the only dad in town whose head rests on top of the likeness of Optimus Prime (Bumblebee is on the other side).
4. The midlife crisis ride is a minivan with leather seats with plenty of power and enough room to fit a casket in the back. I won't be able to afford the sports car until Baby Ellie is out of college when I am 68. By then, I will be able to drive it for a dozen years or so to catch the Early Bird special at the Golden Corral before Mrs. LMC takes away the keys.