Haflrsre Brrzzsoiet, Osture Oggnsrss!

Ozzie Ozzy (insert satanic hand-signal to Groovy Vic here) Osbourne cracks the big 6-0 today.

Now before your collective jaws come crashing down on your desks, let me make it abundantly clear that I have never heard one note of Osbourne's music, nor have I ever watched any of the "reality tee vee" stuff that has propelled his more recent popularity. To the extent that I give the man any thought, it is to pity his trainwreck of an existence.

Having said that, I must also say that I find those Sprint ads where he has to text message because nobody can understand what he's mumbling to be quite amusing.

Waaaaay back in 1982, Osbourne came to San Antonio for a concert. The same evening we happened to be going to see a performance of Mozart's Don Giovanni. The convention center arena and symphony hall were right next to each other in those days and shared a parking lot. You can imagine the bipolar nature of the crowd on the sidewalks.

This was right after Osbourne had suddenly garnered national attention from allegedly biting the head off a bat on stage. There were bats in the theatre that night and I distinctly recollect them flitting about during the Mozart, particularly in the graveyard scene. The connection was not lost on the audience and I heard numerous chuckles, mentions of the name Ozzy and cracks about "the ones that got away".