September 15, 2006

More Randy Mac Attack - Friday Lowbrow Edition

In deciding to take Randolph Macon Woman's College co-ed, the Board of Trustees has presented itself with a simple but tough dilemma - How to get the guys to actually apply.

Well, of course, one way is to come up with a snappy new marketing slogan. I offered some suggestions about that yesterday. But then I got thinking - the BoT is taking an awful risk with this move, since it has infuriated so many current students and alumnae. If this stunt is going to work, the Board had better make damned sure to pack in as many applicants as it can.

So, in order to cover the bases, I've come up with some more marketing slogans that are aimed at what one might call the baser instincts of the new potential applicant pool. Thus, I now give you:


10. Now With Testosterone!
9. This Ain't Your Momma's Randy Mac!
8. For A Couple Extra Bucks, We'll Let You Flip Through The Facebook And Pick Out Your Female Hallmates.
7. Last Year's Homecoming Queen Personally Kisses Each New Male Student.
6. To Save Money, We've Decided To Make The Field-House Shower Unisex.
5. No Bra? No Problem!
4. You're Always Complaining How Hard It Is To Get On To The Girls' School Campuses - Here's Your Chance, Buddy.
3. Ten Girls For Every Guy - Do The Math, Dude!
2. Aren't You Curious What Really Happens Behind That Big Red Wall Out Front?
1. Oh, Boooooys!

As always, I present these humble suggestions to the Board gratis. Good luck!

Posted by Robert at September 15, 2006 01:26 PM | TrackBack