November 05, 2007
I'm Robbo the Llama and I Think I've Been Possessed!
A week or two back I noted the likelihood that I was going to be spending the Thanksgiving holidays pergo-ing the floor of Robbo's Former Fortress of Solitude in the basement of Orgle Manor.
Well, it seems plans have changed somewhat since then. The other day the Missus confirmed that Mrs. LMC, together with the Future ROTC Scholarship Recipient and his Lovely Little Sister, would be coming up for a night or two over the T-Day weekend. I immediately kyboshed any flooring plans, stating categorically that there was no way we could deal with a basement in total chaos and houseguests that included two small children. One or the other, but not both.
Lucky break for ol' Robbo, you might say. And I did say, at first. But then a little voice way back in the recesses of my skull observed, "You know.....you've got Veterans' Day off, so this coming weekend will be a long one as well........"
Before I knew what was happening, this same little voice had somehow taken over my vocal chords (a standard revolutionary technique: go for the communications system first) and was saying to the Missus, "Well, why don't I do the pergo sooner rather than later?"
You can imagine how that offer was received. The Missus is off to buy the fixin's as soon as I measure the floorspace this evening.
I am hereby sending out an S.O.S to Father M and any other readers of the Llamas who might know something about exorcism. Help me!
YIPS from Steve-O:
Oh, I think I can speak for all our readership when I say:
Posted by Robert at November 5, 2007 01:14 PM | TrackBackAs a wife of almost 50 years, I think you could say all is lost. You did it to yourself. No exorcism can call back the spoken word.
Posted by: Ruth H at November 5, 2007 02:44 PMI would rule out exorcism since you seem to be drawn to the sacraments rather than repelled by them.
Of course, if you wish to experiment, next time you're in a Catholic church, cross yourself with holy water; if you can bear the touch of a sacramental, you are very likely not possessed. :-)
(In addition, according to my 1951 Manual of Indulgences, that simple act also takes seven years off your time in purgatory)!
Other classic signs are, of course, having superhuman strength, inexplicable knowledge of faroff events, and an understanding of hitherto unknown languages.
The best books for the layman on exorcism are the two by Father Gabriele Amorth (An Exorcist Tells His Story and An Exorcist: More Stories). The one by Father Jose Fortea (Interview with an Exorcist) is also pretty good. Malachi Martin's Hostage to the Devil is also a classic, though some people maintain he was a fabulist, and it is rather dark. There is also an emerging Protestant practice of exorcism (just Google "deliverance ministry"). The psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, who became a Christian before his death, came to believe in it due to experiences with some of his patients. He wrote a book on it I haven't read, though of course, his "People of the Lie" is a classic that touches on it.
It's all a fascinating subject, though not one guaranteed to help your sleep. Plus, beyond a certain point, study of it isn't recommended -- the great Dominican theologian St. Albertus Magnus once remarked that "all demonology eventually leads to demons". I had an interest in it about six months ago, but having exhausted most of the current literature and having answered my curiosity on the subject, I'm taking St. Albert's advice and leaving that stuff to the Archangel Michael. The gosepl of Luke 10:17-20 is, of course, the definitive advice on the matter.
The Pergo is probably a more rewarding project. It also might remit some time in Pergo-tory.
Posted by: The Colossus at November 5, 2007 02:52 PMRobbo, please thank the Missus for me for putting up Mrs. LMC and our offspring over the coming holiday weekend. If the Future ROTC Scholarship Recipient and his Lovely Little Sister (as you so aptly put it) get out of line, tell Mrs. LMC you heard her titles also include Civil Administrator and Director of Martial Law.
Posted by: LMC at November 5, 2007 03:01 PMLMC - Will do. We always have a good time with your progeny.
Coloss - I'd be willing to bet that howlingly bad puns will get you some extra time busting rocks in the real Purgatory. If not, it ought to.
On the matter of exorcisms, I agree with St. Albert: it's always struck me that one runs some considerable risk messing about with that kind of knowledge, even if one is a pro.
Posted by: Robbo the LB at November 5, 2007 03:39 PMMore likely, the missus has been bombarding you with subliminal messages.
The questions now are, how & when. Is there a tape recorder (gosh I'm showing my age) or an iPod in the bedroom?
Posted by: rbj at November 5, 2007 04:17 PMSeveral years ago my husband refloored our sunroom. The first order of business was to tear up the current flooring down to the subfloor. It just so happened that son #2 was turning 16 and a party was in the offing. We got out every single marker in the house and allowed the kids to draw on the subfloor. The party was a huge success. I wonder what people will think decades from now when they pull up this flooring to find all the birthday greetings!
Posted by: Babs at November 6, 2007 10:57 AMBabs, it looks as if you've assured some future archeology PhD candidate a gold-mine thesis project!
Posted by: Robbo the LB at November 6, 2007 02:18 PMAbstract paintings
Angel painting
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beach painting
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church painting
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field painting
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impressionist painting
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street painting
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wine paintingsalvador dali paintings
thomas kinkade paintings
pablo picasso paintings
vincent van gogh paintings
claude monet paintings
diego rivera paintings
Image courtesy of the lovely and talented 