August 08, 2007

Gratuitous Domestic Posting - "Danger, Will Robinson!" Edition


The nine year old has started asking questions about, ah, feminine matters. When given a very general and matter-of-fact explanation by the Missus, she dismissed the whole business as "gross". When she repeated this observation to me last evening, I assured her that she had a few years to go before she had to start worrying about it, and that it was a perfectly ordinary part of growing up.

I think we're safe for the moment. However, I take these inquiries to be the first faint mutterings of thunder coming down the wind, heralding the storm that is going to descend on Orgle Manor before we know it.

I am so not ready for this.

Posted by Robert at August 8, 2007 10:18 AM | TrackBack

If I had been in Robbo's place:

"Mommy, why did daddy run to the back yard?"

"He's just going to commit suicide, dear."

Posted by: Hucbald at August 8, 2007 09:29 AM

Even when you are ready for're not ready for it.

Posted by: Mike at August 8, 2007 10:06 AM

Fear not. I said "gross" too. But now I say, well, you can guess what I might say...

Posted by: Mrs. Peperium at August 8, 2007 10:21 AM

Gee, my mom just handed me a book. And I couldn't figure out how things fit together to make a baby.


And then there was that whole confusion with all those "m" words.

Posted by: GroovyVic at August 8, 2007 01:19 PM

Girls ages 14 thru 16 ...

Parents and siblings will abandon all hope and live lives of utter despair.

Posted by: quasimodo at August 8, 2007 01:20 PM

Thank God I have only sons.....

Posted by: kmr at August 8, 2007 02:37 PM

A friend of mine explained it to his 11 yr old son while they were hiking in the Huasteca region of Mexico. He asked his son if he had any thoughts or questions.

"How do you keep from laughing?" was his cherub-honest reply.


Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at August 8, 2007 06:25 PM

Robbo, hold on to your hat. According to those people who are always saying stuff, girls are maturing much earlier now than they used to. My granddaughter just turned 11, and she already has a figure and... other stuff. Makes me want to cry every time I look at her. Then I look around at the boys looking at her and I get the unbelievable desire to find a gun.

Posted by: Denise at August 8, 2007 10:19 PM

My 14-year old niece moved in with us at the post headquarters, located amidst the vast real estate holdings which comprise Fort LMC. My bride, the post chief of staff and Final Authority on All Matter Concerning Popular Culture, now has a teenager, the four year old and the two year old. Yours truly follows it all via webcam and e-mail from the Middle East.

Posted by: LMC at August 9, 2007 03:11 AM

I'm with Denise. My greatest fear of being father to a daughter is that I would SURELY become a serial killer by the time she reached puberty. I would simply shoot dead every pimply faced boy who came sniffing around. Why? because I was a pimply faced boy once, and I know EXACTLY HOW THEY THINK.

Posted by: Hucbald at August 9, 2007 07:52 AM

B'lieve me - I've been working on my "boys are scum" speech ever since the day the gel was born. Also my quick draw.

Posted by: Robbo the LB at August 9, 2007 09:06 AM

You might want to add lifts to your repertoire; you have to look imposing, and just a little psycho. The boys dating my sisters feared coming to our front door, for good reason. Still makes me shudder, and Dad's been gone since before I hit the dating scene.

Posted by: tee bee at August 9, 2007 11:02 AM

When I was in high school, I dated a girl whose lawyer father stood well over six feet tall, and despite his friendly demeanor, he scared the hell out of me. My statements always started with "Mr" and ended with "Sir".

One of my scariest moments was the time I had to return the keys to a car I'd borrowed, that he didn't want to be used, plus the parking brake handle I had accidently pulled off. I was later told I looked like I didn't know whether to scream or sh*t.

If I ran into him now, after more than twenty years, he would still be friendly, and I would still address him as "Sir".

If I had daughters, that's the effect I would strive to have.

Posted by: kmr at August 9, 2007 08:44 PM