Now THAT'S a movie review

Classic Pajiba:

01:48: The music is by Stewart Copeland. Y’all remember him, right? This is truly depressing — one of the dudes responsible for my college answering machine message (“Mother,” which I alternated with The Descendants’ “Wienershnitzel”) is now providing the score to a Jon Bon Jovi film. Twenty-five years ago, Stewart Copeland wouldn’t have pissed on Jon Bon Jovi’s lion mane if it was on fire. So let’s look at Copeland’s progression: The Police. Scoring Wall Street. Scoring Good Burger. And now this. Porn is the only logical next step. 02:00: Dear God. Within the first 20 seconds, a camel walks into a courthouse and flatulates. Paris, je t’aime, I miss you already. 02:17: Now, there is an assortment of farm animals in the courtroom, most of which are farting. 02:57: The janitor (Curtis “Booger” Armstrong) is trying to get to the bottom of this — Bud Bundy is explaining. “It’s a long story,” he says. Oh — we’re going into flashback territory.

11:25: Jon has dropped a tray of appetizers on a midget. The little person just punched Jon in the nards. Jon takes umbrage and throws him in the punch bowl. Classy stuff, folks. The makings of a fine Cary Grant-style screwball comedy.
13:39: Jon is now discussing his new idea with Bud Bundy — this one is golden, he says. Surefire. Are you ready for it? All right. Here goes: A professional hockey league … for women.
14:34: Everyone is of the opinion that a women’s hockey league only works if the women are topless. A brief fantasy sequence is brought in for demonstrative purposes — a bare-chested woman gets all Catholic Schoolgirls … are … Easy with the rink glass.

Although this comment about plans for a sequel to Wall Street is brilliant:

I suppose the very fact that Douglas would seek to cash in on a lame-brained sequel idea like this suggests that greed is, indeed, the driving force, in which case greed isn’t as good as Gekko would have us believe.