Cats look at you and think: "if you were shrunk to 2 inches high, you would be running for your life" when they are not thinking: "when you are dead, we are going to eat you."

Mooing? Uh, Robbo, how large are these cats . . . ?

You have been feeding and watering them, right?

Cats are of the devil, my friend, and chances are extremely good you are allergic to them. It may not start as sneezing: It may start simply with evil thoughts. I caca you not.

My own story is not a very pretty read, because we were in a VERY tiny townhouse in Reston with THREE cats living indoors for about 4 years, when my metabolism reached critical mass. Then, I learned, allergies change over time. So a 41 year old who had lived with cats frequently, all of a sudden could become extremely ill because his immune system finally hit its breaking point.

I ended up moving out of my house for weeks, laying on the wife and daughters a major existential decision, and finally selling the house and moving to Sterling where the cats could live outside in their own house, which is where we are now.

Bottom line: Cats should not live inside. It's just my opinion but I went through a lot to arrive at it. The grim story is at the link below; scroll to the bottom and read up. Caution: Features some alcohol and drug use, and really bad blogging.

http://www.newcounterculture.com/log/sick_drunk_or_what/

It may start simply with evil thoughts.

I'm ashamed to be laughing at John's pain, but he has a point, learned the hard way. I was merely going to suggest some quality rest time for these stressed-out kitties, say, in the basement in their comfy little travel carriers. No, they are not cages.

But my personal experience is that if they have to use the woods out back for a WC, they appreciate their indoor time a lot more, and even though I know they often merely tolerate me for what I can give them, they know it's mutual and can end whenever I decide to stop opening the door to them. Seems to work for me.

Cats share their affection with you on their terms, dogs need someone to lead them and they choose you because you're bigger than them and can work the can opener. If you like giving love, you're a cat person. If you like taking love, you're a dog person. Which one are you?

Dancing on the piano is nothing to having a cat dance on the very complex controls for the toilet in your Tokyo apartment becuase he likes the little beeping sounds. Those toilets have temperature controlled seats and bidets, so when he was done you were never sure if you were going to burn your buns on a superheated seat, or have your nads blistered with scalding water from the bidet.