April 03, 2006

Your LLamabutcher Movie Review, featuring Gary the X-Donk

Really, Gary, what did you really think?

I don't know---reviews like this just make me want to see it more, in it's wide-screen glorious crapitude. I mean, the thing's got craptabulous written all over it. Now if they had only made Kurt Russell be the pyscho cop on the edge.....and given the setting, he could have had a bad faux English accent and everything!

And maybe thrown in the time-travelling ghost of Jack the Ripper to cut up Sharon Stone at the end. Except, "Jack" the Ripper turns out to have been a chick all along! Now we're talking movie magic. Throw in a foul-mouthed midget as the sidekick cop who gets whacked at the end of Act II and we're talking gold! GOLD, I say!

Some people see a flick like this and ask, "why?" while I sit there and get in a delirious state hopped up on rasinettes and Barq's root beer and ask "what's for lunch?"

Or something Bobby Kennedy-esque like that.

UPDATE: Sadie, however, liked it. Go figure.

Posted by Steve at April 3, 2006 11:47 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Um...NOPE. That was my awesome coblogger. ;-)

Posted by: sadie at April 3, 2006 01:52 PM

D'oh!

Posted by: Steve the LLamabutcher at April 3, 2006 02:25 PM

Also, Awesome Coblogger did NOT like it. AC is waiting for the unrated DVD, when I can really vent my bile.

Posted by: Mr. Atoz at April 3, 2006 02:33 PM

With nothing better to do, I read the NY Times review. And yes, in a movie review, about a sequel to an (alleged) erotic thriller, the review does manage a spot of Bush bashing:
"For amusement's sake, it is possible to read "Basic Instinct 2" as a metaphor for contemporary American-British political relations (a psychotic Yank lures a decent Brit into a web of deceit and murder), but this is a poor reward for two hours of drift and sludge."

I'm sure the Times could do the same with a review of the teletubbies.

Posted by: rbj at April 3, 2006 06:33 PM