Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - Olivia Cromwell Division

This morning I was chatting of this and that with the eight year old Llama-ette. As we talked, Bella the cat strategically placed herself between us so as to get pets from both sides. As Bella sat there purring, the gel mentioned that a friend of hers has a cat named Elvis.

"Uuuawwhh," I said, "Uh, I shore think that's a real purty name for a cat, darlin'. Uh, thangkyuh verrah much!"

"Dad-DEEEE!" she suddenly snapped, "Don't imitate him!"

"Why ever not?" I asked, completely mystified. My impression isn't the greatest, but I know it's not that lame.

"Because he was bad! He drank too much and he ate too much and he did drugs and he died on the potty and he got exactly what was coming to him!" she explained rayther awfully.

Yikes!

"Well, sweety...," I said, a bit disoriented by this sudden outburst of Old Testament condemnation, "I don't think Elvis was necessarily a bad man. Say rather that he was a weak man who unfortunately gave into temptation and did some very bad things to himself. We should feel sorry for him."

"Humph!" was her answer.

What have I created?