Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - "Homer Sighs" Division

Muse, speak to me now of that resourceful man
who wandered far and wide after ravaging
the sacred citadel of Troy. He came to see
many people's cities, where he learned their customs,
while on the sea his spirit suffered many torments,
as he fought to save his life and lead his comrades home.
But though he wanted to, he could not rescue them—
they all died from their own stupidity, the fools.
They feasted on the cattle of Hyperion,
god of the sun—that's why he snatched away their chance
of getting home someday. So now, daughter of Zeus,
tell us his story, starting anywhere you wish.

No, of course I'm no Odysseus. However, I am embarking on what might prove to be a very long and arduous journey, indeed. You see, the storm drainage ditch that runs along the road out in front of Orgle Manor is basically....non-existent. The result is that every time we have heavy rains (like we did yesterday and today), sheets of water and mud come down the driveway, overwhelming my field drain, ponding on the drive, sweeping through my front garden, flooding the garage and leaking into the basement. And the problem gets worse as time goes on.

I had a landscaper out on Friday to discuss a different matter. While he was there, I asked if he could do anything about the ditch. He refused point-blank because it is county property and he's been burned before for undertaking such projects without proper clearance.

Preliminary investigation indicates that I am probably going to spend a lot of time sailing between the Scylla of Fairfax County and the Charybdis of the Virginia Dept. of Transportation. I figure that even if I can finally track down somebody and get them to do something, I'm going to feel pretty much like history's most famous shifty Ithican before I'm done.