Daddy Needs a Drink: Snow Days Edition

If you're not reading Rob Wilder already, you really should be. Case in point:

"My friends think you're weird," Poppy said after hanging up with her Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

I opened a beer of the winterfest variety. "Tell them to get in line."

"Will you take us sledding tomorrow?"

"Who are you, Nostradamus? You don't know if there'll be a snow day."

Poppy dashed away to begin her daughter dearest routine of washing, brushing, flossing, rinsing and when she came out, I saw that her pajamas were on inside out.

"Taa-Daa!" she exclaimed, cranked up like that impossible-to-escape kid from Little Miss Sunshine (without the fat suit).

"Are all the light bulbs burned out?" I asked, examining the tags on her wardrobe.

"Very funny. Every kid knows that to get a snow day, you need to wear your PJs like this."

"Like a blind man?"

"Not very politically correct. Besides, I'm a girl, remember?" She headed into the kitchen and returned with a soupspoon in her hand.

"Let me guess. You need to drink from the toilet for your crazy voodoo to work?"

She rolled her eyes. "The final step is to put a spoon under your pillow."

"Makes sense. In Bizarro World."