Why I love the American legal system, Monday Division

Dumbassery:

Major League Baseball could face a class-action lawsuit from former minor leaguers who believe they were denied a fair shot at making the majors because of steroids in the game.

Ex-St. Louis Cardinals farmhand Rich Hartmann told the New York Daily News he is considering filing the lawsuit, and has support from former teammates.

"Was I cheated of my dreams of a big-league career?" Hartmann said in Sunday's Daily News. "I don't know. But I do know there were thousands of guys who were right on the doorstep between 1990 and 2005 and they were cheated because they didn't use steroids."

Hartmann, now a 35-year-old New York banker, was a 26th-round draft choice of the Cardinals in 1994. He impressed at Class A level but lasted only a couple of seasons before he quit after an arm injury.

Although he never made it close to the majors, he still feels he was denied a chance to move through the minor leagues and show what he could do.

My advice to you, Mr. Hartmann, is to marry Timothy Busfeld's sister, buy an Iowa farm on a huge mortgage, and plow over half the corn to build a baseball field. Then you'll have your chance to play in the majors...

Meanwhile, I'm going to file a suit against Lorne Michaels because my refusal to imbibe copious amounts of coke, tequila, and Mt. Dew cost me my chance to be the weekend update anchor on SNL. That, and the lack of major league talent.