Hahahahahaha! Wooo, now that's some funny stuff!
PS Don't eat the fudge.

Very cute. I've always held Beagles to be the noblest scions of the animal kingdom.

Bet they have that puppy bad breath too! Are you crate training? If so, then they're either in the crate or whisked outside on a frequent but routine basis (immediately after eating/drinking, first thing in the AM, etc.)
Don't be afraid of crates...to the dog, it's like a bed with a roof.

Check out the very awesome www.mysmartpuppy.com, brought to you by the genius Brian Kilcommons.

Hey Dan - You're right. Beagles are the most noble dog, and every portrait of them should be in Soviet Realism to adequately convey the gravity of their grandeur!

Thanks for the link Monica! They have a crate to sleep in but I don't lock the door because I don't think they can hold it all night. Also, I'm literally lame right now and can't walk them. So - more walkies once my knee gets better!

Awwwwww. Them's cute puppies. Send photos over to http://dailypuppy.com/

As for the pooping, that's one reason I got an older dog from a shelter. He was already house broken.

But, DARLING! You simply MUST get matching outfits in the school colors (pink and green) for you and the girls! oooooooooooh, how ADORABLE that would be! Check out the student store, I'm sure they already have them in stock ...

or maybe Christmas outfits for this time o'year!

Now THERE'S an idea ... not a good idea, but an idea ...

mwah!

Hey Mrs. Keysunset - We don't want to push Steve-O. He's a llama on the edge and I'd hate for me and the pups to be the cause of any kind of Reservoir Dogs / Mr. Blonde meltdown.

Let's just back away . . .
;)

Eh! Don't get your hopes up, but I think Beagles have a shorter break in period than Terriers.....our Scottie took 12 months to get it right and the Westie just over 18 months. Knock on wood (check first to make sure there is no fudge in the way) and hope your breed is a bit smarter. I have fond (not) memories or trying to pick up squatting quadrupedes and running for the yard in hopes of them associating dirt and grass to bodily functions..... enjoy!

I think you should start doing loldogs for those guys. First could be "I haz a newzpaper"

http://laughoutlouddogs.com/

If your comments were not totally exaggerated for comical effect, then I would suggest you look at the type of food you're feeding the girls. Their output should not be so vast. Buy a high quality food such as Iams, Science, or Eukenuba. That will cut the output. Also, have you wormed them? Worm them again, just to be sure. There is a high margin of safety on wormers. A second course wont be toxic.

Excellent advice, old school lady, on both points. My husband, the veterinarian, says the only way Pyrantel can hurt them is if you throw the bottle at them. I also love the euphamism "low residue" on the boutique food you're referring to. It does work, though.
Said vet husband also deadpanned, "Two pups? She's going to have trouble. It's very difficult to housebreak two puppies at a time." And for that non-helpful, downright depressing advice, chai-rista, there's no charge.

Thanks Old School and Monica. They're eating Eukanuba canned and Science Diet kibble.

They seem to have gotten the idea that leaves and dirt are for doodys and piddles. But getting them to understand that carpet is very much NOT for squatting is something we have yet to achieve.

I'm going to re-read my Monks of New Skete and other great dog books I have from 13 years ago . . . the last time we had puppies!

Cut out the canned. That makes squishy poos.

A good overall book is "Good Owners, Great Dogs" by Brian Kilcommons