Not that there's anything wrong with that....

No siree, nothing gay about the Sawx:

Festive release

Champs let loose with wild, emotional party

By Michael Silverman

DENVER - Champagne and beer droplets hung from the white and silver ceiling of the visitors clubhouse at Coors Field after the Red Sox [team stats] won the World Series last night.

It looked like an ice palace, but the steam and heat from an emotional championship team melted the scene as the celebration commenced.

After Jonathan Papelbon [stats] whipped off his hat and threw his glove over his head upon striking out Seth Smith to end the game, the Red Sox whooped it up.

After a massive group hug near the mound started by catcher Jason Varitek [stats] jumping into Papelbon’s arms, the party moved to the clubhouse.

Massage therapist Russell Nua donned his blue goggles and joined the fray. David Ortiz [stats], delayed by some interview or another, finally broke free with a “Hey, (expletives), wait for me!”

Massage therapist Russell Nua donned his blue goggles and joined the fray...okay. No word on what types of gloves he was wearing.

Ortiz bounced and danced and jiggled in place as he was sprayed from 20 directions with bubbly. At one point he pointed to his World Series champions T-shirt and yelled, “When you wear ‘Red Sox’ on your shirt, you’re good at something, (expletives).”

Okay, this is taking the Neil Diamond thing a little too far.

Josh Beckett [stats] looked at the trophy and yelled, “This is what all the hard work is for,” and then got utterly doused by a well-aimed bottle of Domaine Ste. Michelle Brut. “I’m going to hand this off so I don’t get sprayed anymore.”

Papelbon had his turn: “This goes to the baddest team in the (expletive) big leagues.”

Royce Clayton, who had a total of six at-bats for the Sox in the regular season and was left off the playoff roster, was called up to the table. In the majors since 1991 without a World Series appearance, Clayton cried into the shoulder of Ortiz, then spoke.

“I love you guys, I love all of you,” the 37-year-old said before catching his breath. “I waited all these years and all I can say is, ‘Woo-woo, woo-woo!’ .”

The party was back on.

Assistant trainer Masai Takahashi shook up cans of beer, opened them and poured them down the back of revelers’ T-shirts.

Daisuke Matsuzaka looked in awe at the World Series trophy and held court with the Japanese media with a smile on his face. He and his interpreter, Masa Hoshino, shared a heartfelt hug in the middle of the clubhouse.

Bryan Corey walked around the room silently videotaping the proceedings.

Kevin Youkilis [stats] roared to head trainer Paul Lessard, “You bald SOB!” before their bear hug.

Advance scout Todd Claus complained, without really complaining and to nobody in particular, “I just got a beer poured in my ear.”

The longest-tenured member of the team, Tim Wakefield [stats] (who was left off the World Series roster because of a bad shoulder), could not stop grinning.

“I’m happy and very blessed to say I’m a two-time champion,” he said. “We’re ready for the parade.”

John Henry, principal owner of the team, kept using reporters as human shields to ward off liquid attacks.

Yeah, got to ward off liquid attacks. And Albus Dumbledore had the best wandwork according to Griselda Marchbanks.

Because, after all, sometimes festive release is just, umm, festive release.

Jonathan Pabelbon is freaking insane.