October 19, 2007

Gratuitous Crossing the Tiber Posting

Well, this is going to be an interesting weekend.

Tomorrow afternoon, the latest grandchild of my Godparents is to be baptised at the National Cathedral. This will be about the eighth such baptism I've been to there (I also attended all three of their children's weddings there as well), and I never get tired of it.

Then Sunday, after attending 'Palie services with the family, I have to quickly slide over to my new Catholic stomping grounds, as the RCIA class has been drafted to sell donuts this weekend. But once our donut shift is over, one of my classmates and I are going to go take in the Tridentine Mass - it'll be the first one I've ever attended and I'm quite excited about it. A full report (well, a lame attempt at a full report) will follow here.

Talking of "excited", I've perused an awful lot of conversion stories over the past six months or so, most recently over at the Catholic Converts blog and among my RCIA compadres (by no means all of whom necessarily plan to be received into the Church at Easter). Many of the stories concern people's accounts of their struggles and hardships, their active fight against being pulled over the Tiber, their doubts and second-guessing.

Me? So far I've experienced none of that. I've not been placing a very heavy burden of proof on Rome to persuade me, because I want to be persuaded. Apart from the awkward issue of my family not going with me, I've not encountered any problems with what's been asked. (Which, my coming out of a purely Anglican background, is almost entirely related to the meaning and workings of the Church itself. You've no idea what an eye-opener it's been to compare what the Church says about itself with what Protestants claim the Church says about itself. Two different languages.) Instead, I have been, as I say, excited. I go about humming Jubilates to myself. I've started praying much more seriously. I've consciously tried to infuse the Spirit into my dealings with those around me. I even have, as I reported this week, dreams about things. And I bore you lot with, well, posts like this.

So a thought crept into my mind last evening: What, if anything, am I missing? Is this True Love, or is it just some kind of crush? Am I, perhaps, just rebounding from TEC? (That, btw, is what the majority of my old parish allies seem to suspect.) Am I just being a shallow romantic? Or am I turning into a Pharisee? (A favorite barb among liberal 'Palies, btw, for anybody who doesn't agree with their vision.) And, more importantly, how do I tell?

I dunno.

Of course, it is just a thought, not an alarm bell. Perhaps it's just a natural check, a slight damping of the foam on top giving the substance a chance to sink in deeper. Maybe the fact that I'm trying to parse it out here is a healthy exercise. Or perhaps I'm just being paranoid. Certainly there must be others who have sailed over without much trouble, and most of my closest friends would argue that I've never been very far removed tempermentally anyway.

Beating Steve-O To The Punch UPDATE:

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"Cardinal Smithers! Reduce the mental manipulation level by one factor on the cortical implant for this Robbo Llama! We don't want him to become suspicious."

Posted by Robert at October 19, 2007 11:26 AM | TrackBack
Comments

True love? Sounds like the Spirit's trying to get to second base with you.

Hold out!

Posted by: Steve the LLamabutcher at October 19, 2007 11:36 AM

Well, at least until it gives me its letterman's sweater....

Posted by: Robbo the LB at October 19, 2007 11:41 AM

That's the, umm, spirit.

Posted by: Steve the LLamabutcher at October 19, 2007 02:32 PM

Going to Old St. Mary's?

Posted by: Mike at October 19, 2007 03:05 PM

When people accuse me of being a Pharisee, I generally cop to it. But I'm trying to let the law work into my heart. Being a Pharisee is, for me, a good start . . .

If your Tridentine experience is a sung "high mass" with choir responses, it will be simply beyond compare, particularly if they begin with the Asperges. If it's a low mass without choir, it can be disappointing, particularly if the priest blazes through the latin silently/inaudibly and too fast to follow. When the "spirit of Vatican II" crowd criticizes the Tridentine mass, this is what they have in in mind, and it is a fair criticism. The good thing about the Motu Propio is that with a more widespread Tridentine rite, there will be a general improvement in its execution and, I hope, a move toward making the high mass experience more the norm. I'm hoping you have a good experience with it. I've always loved it. There is nothing more reverent toward the Eucharist than a well-done Tridentine mass.

If you get lost, the key is to watch the movements of the Priest. In the Tridentine mass, they are always the same. Sometimes when I get lost in my 1962 missal I have to figure out where he is by the rubrics until I pick up the flow again. The internal feeling this generates is one of confusion and loss; though I've sat through more than a thousand Novus Ordo masses and know everything that is happening up thre in a general sense, it is disconcerting to lose one's place. But this is the human condition, isn't it? At that point, just wait for the bells at the consecration and be thankful, because at that point, he's with you, and nothing else matters.

Posted by: The Colossus at October 19, 2007 03:14 PM

Now you will be in fine form to prepare for Advent. Prayer and Works of Penance. Gifts are involved. Not just for Papists. Your sibling will attest to that.

Posted by: IN HOC SIGNO VINCES at October 20, 2007 07:00 AM

Ya know, being out of the TEC war, you are going to have some relief of stress. That will probably manifest somehow. Rebound effect - some, probably. If the whole family followed, probably. Lighten up on yourself and enjoy. God's giving you some RAR...Bask in it, baby!!!

Posted by: JB in Florida at October 20, 2007 05:22 PM

"And I bore you lot with, well, posts like this."

If only you would bore us with more!

As to whether or not this is True Love, the answer is certain: yes. In time, God will lead you through the dark night of the soul, with its spiritual aridity, as He inevitably leads all His beloved children. But for now, He is kindly giving you the milk of sweetness, desire, and zeal in prayer and faith. I would enjoy it all without anxiety, simply accepting it with gratitude.

Posted by: Christine at October 21, 2007 04:08 AM

By the way, I've never minded the Tridentine low Masses--particularly when I've only got 45 minutes to go to Mass and eat lunch before making it back to the judge's chambers...

Posted by: Christine at October 21, 2007 04:30 AM