Just Pretend Its Friday

This is the kind of post I'd normally save for a Friday, but somehow there's a Friday sort of air in this building today. Maybe its because we're getting new - I mean ALL NEW think-leather-club-chairs - furniture this week. Maybe its because it actually rained here in the desert of central Virginia for once today. For whatever reason, its a Friday sort of Tuesday and so I'll share with you my recent trip to House of Blues.

Just a couple of months ago my pals and I went to HoB in Myrtle Beach to see the B-52s. The show was too short but way fun. We bopped and sang along and it was great. But this isn't a review of the show so much as a review of HoB.

The place is gigantic and completely sheathed in rusted, corrugated roofing. As we drove up my first thought was "It looks like Porky's." (Didn't Porky's look kind off like that? Anybody?)

Anyway - The gates that lead inside are completely covered in outsider art-type paintings. Inside, practically every surface is painted, hobnailed, bottle capped or hung with outsider art. It is glorious!!! Everywhere you look there are funky, naive artistic details that delighted me beyond words.

One set of doors leading outside is trimmed in men's wingtips. Every shoe has been painted with doodles and stars and lined with glitter. Women's shoes, similarly decorated, ring the recessed light fixtures on the ceiling.

Even the bathrooms are crowded with art on the ceiling, art on the support columns, art on the doors. And - to be honest with you - its the bathrooms I want to discuss.

I can only speak about the women's of course, but the women's bathrooms at HoB are rockin. I say this for one reason only. The counter behind the sinks in the women's bathroom is wall-to-faucet packed with aerosol bottles of AquaNet, Suave and Rave hair sprays. It's all the cheap stuff your mama's cousin used to keep her flip or her beehive in place back in the 60's.

There are also baskets of feminine supplies and candy on the counter. Of course if you use any of this stuff you're expected to drop some folding money in the tray for the attendant.

Attendant? Yes mam! There's a lady there - only on weekends I'm told - who wants some money for handing you a paper towel. Well, I reckon I can git my own paper towel, thanks!

Now - I'm not being stingy. I would have been happy to pay Queen Latifah for my paper towel except for one small thing. It was her patter.

She was hollerin' "Pee an' leave ladies! Pee an' leave!!! They's a lot of gals out here who need to go. Let's keep it movin'! Pee an' leave!!!!"

Looking back on it - I probably should have paid her for that. It was annoying at the time but now in the cool of the evening, I'm thinking there will probably be a time and place in the future when I will want to pull out the patter from the Pee Nazi at the House of Blues and get things moving in some other crowded bathroom situation.

Queen Latifah Pee Nazi - I bow to your awesomeness.