Moron Of The Day

I suppose this story resonates because I'm off to the Maine Coast myself in a little over a week:

CHARLESTOWN, R.I. -- A vacationer from Colorado who reportedly wanted to bring home a lobster buoy as a souvenir didn't get what he wanted -- but he did get in trouble.

Police in Charlestown said rescue boats were sent out Monday afternoon when a man later identified as Guy Connors, 44, was seen clinging to the lobster bouy about 150 yards off West Beach.

Witnesses said the man had been in the waters for hours trying to get the buoy and may have been in some distress.

Police said Connors was intoxicated, and had said he had never been in the Atlantic Ocean before and wanted the buoy as a souvenir.

He was charged with wantonly or recklessly causing a false response from authorities, which can bring up to a $500 fine or 30 days in jail.

Serves him right, too.

The bay out in front of our cottage is covered with lobster buoys - it is extremely relaxing to sit on the porch and idly watch them bobbing about. One of the things you quickly learn, however, is that NOBODY touches one of the buoys except its owner. Indeed, I've heard tell that lobstermen who have tried to move their competitors' buoys have been hunted down by their fellows and....dealt with. I expect that had the owner of the buoy this guy tried to pinch got to him before the cops, he probably would have run him down, cut him up and used him for bait.

UPDATE: Oh, I forgot to mention that if this guy really wants a memento, most halfway decent junk shops antique stores along the New England coast will have the nice, old-fashioned wooden buoys. (Indeed, the library at Orgle Manor holds a pair picked up in Brunswick.) Although they're starting to get somewhat pricey, they're much nicer than the nasty styrofoam ones used nowadays, plus no embarrassing police rescue is necessary!

UPDATE DEUX: Speaking of lobstery things, let's end this post on a sillier note. "Don' move!"