July 19, 2007

Can Anybody Tell Me Which Way To Go?

Peep-'oles! Now, I need to tell you. I am FAR from the smartest woman on the planet. I am not even close to being the smartest woman on the campus where I work. I'm probably not the smartest woman in this building.

So why is it that every single one of my interactions with people in recent days leaves me feeling like Einstein amongst the apes?

I'll tell you. No one can give coherent directions. Every time I've been given driving directions recently I come away convinced that American genetics have somehow revived the Neanderthal.

I drove to Discovery Place in Charlotte last week and found to my dismay that the printed directions on their website are WRONG. I called folks to ask directions to a hospice volunteer meeting last week and the person on the line gave me extremely detailed instructions . . . that left out ONLY ONE major turn.

I called to get directions to a Catholic church today and the woman on the other end of the phone line couldn't tell me if her church was north or south of Hwy. 460.

She kept saying "it's across from the social security building."

I said, "So it will be on my right?"

She said, "If you are coming from that direction, it's across from the social security building."

Imagining that it could be "across from SS" but still on my left due to an intervening road, I tried again:
"So after the putt-putt it will be on my right."

"If you are coming from that direction," she answered.

That's not an answer. That's a sentence fragment.

I wanted to hit her with a shovel.

Posted by Chai-Rista at July 19, 2007 03:20 PM | TrackBack

I will never forget the following interchange:
Me: So, your shop is on the northwest corner of the intersection?"
Her: Well, only if you are coming from the 405 freeway..."

I wouldn't place too much emphasis on directions as an indicator of intelligence. I have a son that was able to tell you where to go when he still inhabited a baby car seat. I used to put him up front if he had been somewhere before and I hadn't; he would navigate! I know, very bad of me to put a baby in the front seat...
Then, I have a son that can't find his way out of a paper bag... A really smart guy, speaks several languages, just has no sense of direction! Kinda like his father (sorry honey).

Posted by: Babs at July 19, 2007 03:34 PM

"Einstein Among The Apes" would make a great name for a rock band.

Posted by: Robbo the LB at July 19, 2007 03:38 PM

Sentence fragments are such an OLD idea. To know the difference between a fragment a complete sentence or say a compound-complex sentence would probably mean that elementary school teachers would need to teach English. So outmoded.

And of course if the average American knew what a compound sentence was they might be able to accurately decode the meaning of the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution. And where would the Left be then?

Posted by: Zendo Deb at July 20, 2007 01:23 PM