Can Anybody Tell Me Which Way To Go?

Peep-'oles! Now, I need to tell you. I am FAR from the smartest woman on the planet. I am not even close to being the smartest woman on the campus where I work. I'm probably not the smartest woman in this building.

So why is it that every single one of my interactions with people in recent days leaves me feeling like Einstein amongst the apes?

I'll tell you. No one can give coherent directions. Every time I've been given driving directions recently I come away convinced that American genetics have somehow revived the Neanderthal.

I drove to Discovery Place in Charlotte last week and found to my dismay that the printed directions on their website are WRONG. I called folks to ask directions to a hospice volunteer meeting last week and the person on the line gave me extremely detailed instructions . . . that left out ONLY ONE major turn.

I called to get directions to a Catholic church today and the woman on the other end of the phone line couldn't tell me if her church was north or south of Hwy. 460.

She kept saying "it's across from the social security building."

I said, "So it will be on my right?"

She said, "If you are coming from that direction, it's across from the social security building."

Imagining that it could be "across from SS" but still on my left due to an intervening road, I tried again:
"So after the putt-putt it will be on my right."

"If you are coming from that direction," she answered.

That's not an answer. That's a sentence fragment.

I wanted to hit her with a shovel.