June 19, 2007

Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - Matrimonial Bliss Division

On this day fourteen years ago the Missus and I took the vows.

Naturally we got to reminiscing about the wedding this past weekend. I have to confess that most of what happened is not much more than a vague blur to me now. I recall that it was hot as hell. I recall fighting with the photographer over her stoopid posed pictures. I recall that the priest (the Missus' college chaplain and a pal of ours) gave a nice little sermon on how radical we were to be taking such a permanent step in a world full of uncertainty and decay. And I recall that the band at the reception - a 15 piecer - really made the joint jump. Beyond that, really not much. The Missus, on the other hand, still retains an almost photographic memory of everything. Everything, I tell you. Right down to what food was served at the reception, which parts of her gown didn't puff out right (whatever that means), who sat where and what she was thinking as she walked down the aisle.

Counting the time we were dating, the Missus and I have now been together for 17 and a half years, and I appreciate more and more every day the generous allowance of fool's luck with which I was born that caused me to end up with her. And although I like to gently tease the Missus here from time to time, and despite my occassional hearty desire to wring her neck, the fact of the matter is that she is a truly amazing woman - kind-hearted, energetic, enthusiastic and without an ounce of malice, pretense or cynicism in her - and my primary feeling after all these years continues to be one of gratitude because I really am not worthy.

As to any words o' wisdom I might pass on to those of you coming up behind us or thinking of taking the plunge, I won't get into a pious ramble about taking the Sacrament seriously and recognizing that in a marriage the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. It's perfectly true, of course, but I'm not up for the deeper discourse today. Instead, I'll give you some practical advice: think baseball. As Joe Riggins said to the Durham Bulls, "It's a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball." And you also recognize that it's a long season, day in and day out. And you remember that even the best professional teams will lose 60 games a season, and that even the best hitters in the league only get four hits in ten at bats, and that even the best pitchers will throw one into the dirt or over the catcher's head from time to time. And you also remember that while hitting a grand slam or pitching a no-hitter or turning a triple play are wonderful, they are the exception rather than the rule and that you will be severely disappointed if you expect them all the time. So you play to keep your averages up. You work for consistent base hits. You work for error-free fielding. You play for the team, not yourself, and you always pay attention to the signals being flashed in from your conscience managing the game from the dugout.

Anyway, that's my philosophy. And it seems to work.

Posted by Robert at June 19, 2007 09:50 AM | TrackBack


Love the baseball analogy...more people today should be made to understand that. Forcibly, if necessary. :)

Posted by: beth at June 19, 2007 10:56 AM

Thankee! Yes, isn't it wonderful how applicable the rules and rhythms of baseball are to so many things in life? I appreciate that more and more the older I get.

Posted by: Robbo the LB at June 19, 2007 11:31 AM

Alright, Robbo!

I'm staring at fourteen myself come this September. September 11th. I sh*t you not.

For what it's worth, I've always followed the philosophy embroidered on my favorite beer cozy: "If she ain't happy, YOU ain't happy."

Posted by: Gary at June 19, 2007 12:04 PM

This was excellent and actually helps me understand baseball better! May I have your permission to share this with my priest? He's getting ready to teach a class on Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages".


Posted by: JB in Florida at June 19, 2007 05:13 PM


A marriage is not a destination, but a journey.

Posted by: Sarah G. at June 19, 2007 11:20 PM

JB - go for it. But I'm sure I'm not the first to use the analogy.

Posted by: Robbo the LB at June 20, 2007 08:15 AM