Auugh! My Eyes! They Burn! They Burn!!!

Granny Strippers:

Giving sultry looks and sexy smiles to the camera, 12 Pittsburgh-area women recently posed at Monongahela historical sites, baring it all -- or almost all -- to create a charity-driven calendar. The catch?

The nearly nude ladies are all in their 70s and 80s, driven to adventure by a desire to raise money for a historical society in Monongahela, a small community 17 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

Overcoming fears the priest would walk by during a photo shoot or embarrassing their children and grandchildren, the women -- all well-known members of the tight-knit community -- are now eagerly awaiting the calendar's debut next month. The money it generates will go to the Monongahela Area Historical Society.

"One of the advantages of being old is that you can do anything you want and get away with it," said 80-year-old Lois Phillips, who as Miss September was photographed in the back seat of a 1968 Mercury convertible.

I thought one of the advantages of being old was not feeling the need to act like an adolescent moron anymore, but hey, that's just me.