"My Name Is Gollum And I'm Here To Sing, Sing, Sing!"

The latest manifestation of The Lord of the Rings: The Musical is growing, like the Shadow, on the London Stage:

This production will probably be remembered more for its sights than its sounds, however. The sheer scale of the beasties – the giant black furry spider; Balrog, the humungous redeyed demon from the underworld; and, tallest of all, the 20ft stilted ents – gives this Rings the feel of a Rio carnival reenacted in Covent Garden.

None of the speaking actors creates as vivid an impression as the snorting, leather-clad orcs, who power-skip and somersault across the stage like warthogs in bondage gear, and nearly steal the show when they cavort among the front rows of the stalls during the break between Acts II and III. Alongside these circus stunts, there are illusions, such as the vanishing of Bilbo Baggins in Act I, and a succession of back-projected images that hover above and behind the action. Warchus’s bid to fashion what he calls “total theatre” is about as total a spectacle as this theatregoer has witnessed.

Erm, right.

This reminds me of something I've long thought about the books, namely, that the weakest point in the entire story comes when Samwise, lost in the guard tower above Cirith Ungol, separated from Frodo, alone and in near-despair, breaks into song.

I know it's supposed to be moving, but I'm afraid every time I get to it I suddenly imagine the text of the song changing to "Climb Every Mountain" and I can't help but to start sniggering.

I've an idea I'd do a lot of that watching this, too, when I wasn't busy pulling my hair out in frenzied outrage.

Yips! from Gary (the Tolkien Geek):
And lest we forget that tense moment en route to Rivendell when Sam inexplicably decides to break into a version of "the Troll song". I always thought of this as Sam's "I always wanted to be a Lumberjack" moment.

Yips! back from Robbo: Yes. I was also wondering whether Sam's Tater Rap would make it into the stage show.