April 15, 2007

Gratuitous Plum Blogging (TM) - Hobgoblins and Small Minds Division

Jeeves Parkinson.jpg

I've been reading Jeeves: A Gentleman's Personal Gentleman by C. Northcote Parkinson this weekend. In it, Parkinson fleshes out the pre- and post-Wooster career of Jeeves, as well as providing additional biographical information about Bertie Wooster and other denizens of the Wodehouse World. So far, it is harmless fun.

However, as I was reading, I came across a rayther puzzling passage in which Parkinson purports to reconstruct Jeeves' employment with Lord Brancaster, noted parrot-fancier and addict of school prize-giving ceremonies. Here is Parkinson's rendition of Jeeves' encounter with "Lars Porsena," Lord Brancaster's chief parrot:

Next morning, Jeeves went to fetch Lars Porsena and was relieved to find that the bird perched on his shoulder without reluctance. His walk back to the house was without incident until he reached the back door, at which point his feathered passenger suddenly squawked, "Damn you, sir" and "Bloody Hell." Mounting the stairs with patience and care he was abruptly told to "Watch it, you **** ****!" All went well, however, until he reached Lord Brancaster's bedroom door, at which point the parrot, unprovoked, bit his left ear. As he entered the room, he was trying to staunch the blood with a hankerchief.

Later, Jeeves devises a solution for preempting a second strike:

That evening Lord Brancaster asked Jeeves to fetch Lars Porsena again, this time for what he described as a regular after dinner chat. Jeeves might have repeated his trick with the dustbin lid [which he had used to shield himself from Lars while taking him back to his cage that morning] but he could not bring himself to bring such an article into the dining-room. He decided, therefore, on a more scientific approach. He soaked a biscuit in a non-vintage port and gave it to the parrot in its cage. It accepted the gift without suspicion but held it with difficulty when the journey began. Once it had reached Lord Brancaster's presence, it seemed for a while that Lars Porsena intended to sing. He gave up that idea, however, and was placed in a cage at his lordship's elbow, where he swore quietly to himself for a while then suddenly capsized, lying on the floor of the cage, with his feet in the air. He had passed out, losing all further interest in the proceedings.

All well and good. Except that this is not the way Jeeves tells the story himself. In the classic Right Ho, Jeeves! Jeeves and Bertie Wooster are discussing the advisability of spiking the orange juice of Gussie Fink-Nottle, a confirmed wet fish and teetotaller, in order to give him the vim to propose to that Gawd-help-us, Madeline Bassett. Bertie is all eagerness to add the oz, but Jeeves is cautionary:

I was thinking of an incident in my earlier life, Sir, before I entered your employment. I was in the service of the late Lord Brancaster at the time, a gentleman who owned a parrot to which he was greatly devoted, and one day the bird chanced to be lethargic, and his lordship, with the kindly intention of restoring it to its customary animation, offered it a portion of seed cake steeped in the '84 port. The bird accepted the morsel gratefully and consumed it with every indication of satisfaction. Almost immediately afterwards, however, its manner became markedly feverish. Having bitten his lordship on the thumb and sung part of a sea-chanty, it fell to the bottom of the cage and remained there for a considerable period of time with its legs in the air, unable to move."

Later in the story, Jeeves also passes to Gussie some stories that Lord Brancaster habitually used in his prize-giving speeches so that Gussie could use them for his own forthcoming ordeal at Market Snodsbury Grammar School. And yet Parkinson has Jeeves leave Brancaster's service after a single day, during which time no such speeches were made.

As I say, I find this discrepancy puzzling. Plainly according to Parkinson's timeline, there was only a single incident involving a drunken parrot. Is Parkinson implying that Jeeves lied about the business to Bertie? If so, what possible motive would Jeeves have? On the other hand, is Parkinson emphasizing the fact, stated at the beginning of his "biography", that Jeeves categorically declined to cooperate and that Parkinson had to rely mostly on third party testimony, hearsay or otherwise? If so, why would we believe anything Parkinson purports to tell us about Jeeves' life? On the third hand, is this just sloppy research on Parkinson's part? Or did he simply decide that Wodehouse's own implied history did not suit his story arc? If so, did Parkinson seriously believe that legions of crazed Plumophiles wouldn't instantly spot the error?

Mr. Parkinson, as the man wishing to buy a fish license said to Mr. Last of the Post Office, "It's people like you what causes unrest."

UPDATE: Oh, what the heck. It's a rainy Sunday. Here's the clip (one of my favorites):

Gotta go - I think the loony-detector van has spotted me.

Posted by Robert at April 15, 2007 02:22 PM | TrackBack
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