Because the Russians don't take a dump without a plan

And if "Vote for Ol' Fred: Because the Russians don't take a dump without a plan" doesn't beat "Tippacanoe and Tyler Too" then nothing does.

Fun facts about Fred Thompson, courtesy of Frank J.:

* Fred Thompson is the only person to have ever bested Miyamato Mushashi in a duel. The reason Musashi is so vague about the book of the void is because the fifth ring of combat is really Fred Thompson.

* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

* Fred Thompson took over what was Al Gore's Senate seat, thereby dramatically reducing the Senate's carbon footprint. Fred Thompson then created carbon offset offsets by wastefully burning hippies.

* The Fremen consider "Fred Thompson" a killing word.

* Fred Thompson can know both the exact position and momentum of a particle. Furthermore, he knows Schroedinger's cat is dead because he personally strangled it.

Read the rest.

Basically, the gist is this: Jack Bauer's worst nightmare? A pissed off Fred Thompson.