The Greeks had a word for this

And I think it's "feta."

Van Halen star David Lee Roth has announced he won't be attending the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony - because he can't perform. The reformed rockers will be added to the Cleveland, Ohio music museum on Monday but guitarist Eddie Van Halen's upcoming rehab stint, announced yesterday, has forced them to pull out of a planned performance.

Instead Velvet Revolver will perform Van Halen hits as part of a tribute at a star-studded banquet in New York. And bitter Lee Roth reveals he won't even be there to claim the induction honor because he can't perform with his bandmates.

He says, "It rips my heart out (not to be there)... but I don't make speeches for a living. It's just not an option for me to go and watch some other band, who are only performing because they have some new record coming out, do our music... That was my three minutes and 22 seconds up there."

But Lee Roth is still optimistic about plans for a Van Halen reunion tour once Eddie Van Halen completes rehab treatment for a reported alcohol problem: "If Ed ever dries up, this is going to be a stadium act."

Groovy Vic is in mourning, as am I, not as much that Van Halen won't be touring this summer, but at the news of a masculine sex icon of my youth can't perform. Oh how the mighty have fallen.