Post-tenure protocols

It should come as no surprise that NASA has a procedure to deal with astronauts who lose it in space. What's a bit surprising is the methodology employed:

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) -- What would happen if an astronaut became mentally unstable in space and, say, destroyed the ship's oxygen system or tried to open the hatch and kill everyone aboard?

That was the question after the apparent breakdown of Lisa Nowak, arrested this month on charges she tried to kidnap and kill a woman she regarded as her rival for another astronaut's affections.

It turns out NASA has detailed, written procedures for dealing with a suicidal or psychotic astronaut in space. The documents, obtained this week by The Associated Press, say the astronaut's crewmates should bind his wrists and ankles with duct tape, tie him down with a bungee cord and inject him with tranquilizers if necessary.

Oddly enough, this is the same protocol the department has adopted for dealing with unruly faculty since I became chair, with the addition of an extra bonus injection of 300 cc's of Tang. Surprisingly, we've only had to do the procedure twice.