October 03, 2006
Gratuitious Lunchtime Observation
In terms of brown bag lunches, is there anything that can make one feel so virtuous and ever-so-slightly smug as eating a turkey sammich?
YIPS from Steve-O: Oh, I don't know, maybe blogging about it?
And the correct answer by the way is chicken salad, on wheat, with honey mustard.
Yips! back from Robbo: I said "virtuous", smart guy, not "satisfied". If we're going that direction, I'll need some extremely underdone roast beef, a large block of XXX-tra sharp cheddar and a loaf of French bread. Also a Guinness. Better make it two. Plus about four hours for a nap after.
More Yips! from Robbo: And for those of you who think I ask "What Would Niles Crane Do?" about every matter of taste, let me just point out that for tasty sammiches, this is the only spread you'll ever need:
Still more Yips! from Robbo: All this talk of Dijon mustard, chicken salad and "artisan bread" (for Pete's sake!) has forced me to bring out the big guns. Know what makes an fantastic Red State Real Man sammich? Venison salami.
Just don't count on getting kissed for the rest of the day, that's all.
YIPS from Steve-O: This is dangerously close to becoming the Esmay/Malkin/Commissar blog war, but instead of on Islam and democracy it's cold cuts and condiments.
With that said, excuse me, but, French's......I mean, doesn't it say it all right there?
Here's the only thing that's going to touch MY 'Merikan chicken salad (other than, of course, the mayonaise, basil, cilantro, and just a hint of fennel):
That's right, FREEDOM MUSTARD, you effete anti-Islamist democtritarian Pelosi-fawning bastage!
Did Sam trust his Chicken Salad or Turkey with French's? I think freakin' not!
Posted by Robert at October 3, 2006 11:52 AM | TrackBackIs there Miracle Whip on that sammich? Because nothing's better on a turkey sammich than Miracle Whip.
Posted by: jen at October 3, 2006 12:19 PMActually, I'm a mustard man myself. And good, old-fashioned Amurican yellow at that. None of your fancy-pants cheese-eating surrender monkey Gray Poufter for me!
Posted by: Robbo the LB at October 3, 2006 12:38 PMThe virtue-ness of a sandwich and smugness that goes along with it is entirely defined by the nature of the bread. Wonder bread--not going to cut it. Some artisan, organic, infinite grain bread that makes your insides sieze up like a concrete mixer left out to dry that comes from a bakery run by an indigent indigenous person displaced from their land of indigenousness--so much virtue it would make Marcus Aurelius burn with envy.
Oh, and if you add bean sprouts? You get a free totebag to carry all your smug in.
Posted by: Misspent at October 3, 2006 01:13 PMWell, good. Now I know where I can mail all of my turkey sammiches in the future and they'll be appreciated. Yick.
Use Plochman's mustard - the natural stone ground version. It's made in the good old US of A and it is a real mustard.
Posted by: rbj at October 3, 2006 02:12 PMCall me guilty of embracing my inner Niles Crane (in a strictly non-erotic way), but I'll take Grey Poupon over French's any day of the week. Although Plochman's is good stuff too.
Just to complete my self-wussification, I whipped up a batch of chicken salad this last weekend and added dried sour cherries to the mix. It adds a whole new dimension to the chicken salad sandwich experience. Which requires two slices of lightly toasted rye, not that artisan crap. Misspent is right--the local bakeries here think "artisan" is some Euro-weenie code word that means "You could drive nails with this loaf."
Posted by: utron at October 3, 2006 03:07 PMMy mother adds chopped walnuts and grapes to her chicken salad - delish.
Posted by: jen at October 3, 2006 03:15 PMHERESY!!!!!
Grumble grumble ... miracle whip [i]salad dressing[/i] on a freaking sandwich?!??!
Hellman's or nothing! (or BestFoods if your out west coast way...)
Miracle Whip is RIGHTOUT!
Posted by: Jon at October 3, 2006 04:44 PMThe battle is between boring yellow mustard, boring mayo or mayo imitation, or slightly less boring stone ground mustard? Heresy.
Chipotle del Sol Smokin' Mustard from Sgt. Pepper's Hot Sauce in Austin, Tx. Tasty stuff, puts hair on your chest.
Chicken salad? Chunks o chicken, mayo, "rooster sauce," and either nuts or halved grapes.
Posted by: owlish at October 3, 2006 05:41 PMIt's Plochman's, always Plochman's.
Posted by: Sarah G. at October 3, 2006 10:10 PMTurkey. Avocado. BACON. Tomato. Mayo. Whole wheat bread.
Posted by: bobgirrl at October 3, 2006 10:34 PMis there anything that can make one feel so virtuous and ever-so-slightly smug as eating a turkey sammich?
A chicken sammich -- not chicken salad (ick), but deli sliced chicken breast. Y'see, chicken has all the virtues of turkey (ie, it's meat but it ain't the oh so dreadful beef or pork) and at least one fewer flaw: turkey is high in cholesterol, chicken isn't. Chicken on wheat bread with margarine and cheese: fills the stomach and the smugmeter at the same time.
Posted by: wolfwalker at October 4, 2006 06:39 AMI've noticed that it is usually wimmen what order chicken salad. I prefer roast beef or salami & provolone.
With mustard.
For a bologna sandwich, mayo (Hellman's) is fine.
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