I'm at a loss for the appropriate snarky comment

But, somehow, I think that Dick Button could manage.

Who would've realized Kristy Swanson would be capable of such stunning vulgarity after her star-turning performance on Charlie Sheen in a BMW doing 90 mph in The Chase? She did the kidnapped aristrocratic snobby slut thing so well it practically ended the genre, which was sad, as it put Erika Eleniak out of business as Kristy Swanson-lite (I mean, who else watched The Chasers 200 times on cable thinking, "Durn, that Kristy Swanson is hot, but kind of low rent."?) Which is sad, because Kristy Swanson was kind of the low-rent, slutty version of Laura Dern to begin with (who is kind of a low-rent version of Patricia Arquette, who herself is the knock-off of the gold-standard, Laura Linney.)

Eventually, they'll do a tee-vee movie on Lifetime about Tonya Harding: The Later, Even Nastier Years, and there will be a competition between Kristy Swanson, Erika Eleniak, and Laura Dern, which is sad, because although Erika will better be able to channel the oevre that is Tonya Harding, Laura Dern will win the part because she can, like, read. Without pictures.