Prime Real Estate Offer

Vacationers, you are in luck - The U.S. Office of Property Disposal is offering Johnston Atoll for sale to the highest bidder!

It's a concrete man-made island paradise you can acquire for the sole use of you and your beloved hostages. Colorful local history includes the dramatic destruction of countless tons of Agent Orange, Mustard Gas and Nerve Gas, right on the premises. Parts of this valuable property glow at night from the conveniently located nuclear waste dump. Just think of the home power-generation possibilities!

If you can provide fresh water, your garden will be the envy of the latitude, what with the nourishing layer of free guano which covers every square kilometer of this sought-after getaway.

To learn more about the history of Johnston Atoll, check out the description of the property on the Center for Land Use Interpretation's site, or look at the description provided by the kind folks at Hickam AFB.

Beat ya to the hot tub!