I Heart Lunch Ladies

Though all of my Llama Butcher brothers (Robbo, Steve and LMC) are chronologically younger than me, anyone who read my posts at Truly Bad Films knows that only Steve-O rivals me for sophomore humor. Yeah - we're twins, and this was borne out last week when readers here mistook my post for Steve's. It's gonna be hard to tell us apart, but he's the one with spats, a monocle and a pet mongoose.

To push the teen-humor point, I just have to share the newest action figure from Archie McPhee. I love all the wacky junk this company sells, but today they rolled out the Lunch Lady Action Figure.

Maybe we all have a soft spot for the very unglamorous lunch ladies who feed us. I know I do, and this doll reminds me of the all-too-short-lived but hilarious television show Cedric the Entertainer Presents. Cedric did a sketch in "cafeteria lady" drag. Of course, he made for a gigantic, hulking lunch lady with facial hair - so he was 100% believable. A staple joke for this character was that she never had anything left to serve except "cawn an' mash puhtatus" which came ladled out with plenty of insults.

As much as I loved Cedric's "cafeteria lady" she wasn't my all-time favorite lunch lady. My fav worked here at the college back when all the entrees were dished out by a professional lunch staff just like in first grade. (Now we're allowed to serve ourselves. Anarchy reigns!) Sad to say, I've forgotten her name, but let's call her Myrtle as that sounds very "lunch lady" to me.

If charcoal could talk it would sound like Myrtle. She had the deepest, rasping croak imaginable from 40+ years of smoking. She spooned generous heaps of whatever onto your plate and then she'd say "Is 'at a plenny fo ya honey?"

Is 'at a plenny fo ya honey?

This has to be the single best lunch lady line ever, but you have to imagine it delivered in that nicotine baritone to love it like I do.

What's your lunch lady story?