Sick, Sick, Sick

Well, I see where our ever-vigilant medical researchers have pinned down Road Rage Disorder. Apparently, the condition isn't restricted to losing one's temper on the road, but can manifest itself in any number of life's daily circumstances, thereby prompting researchers to give it the broader moniker "Intermittent Explosive Disorder" or IED.

This got me thinking that I'd like to see the day when these same scientists are able to research, quantify and diagnose the intermittent loss of temper associated with parenthood. In anticipation, here are some suggested names for such condition as appropriate for its manifestation during the kindergarten/elementary years:

10. "It's 5:30 AM - What Are You Kids Doing Up?" Syndrome
9. "But I Just Swept In Here!" Disease
8. "Brush. Your. Teeth!" Disorder
7. "That Effin' Cat!" Malaise (not strictly the same thing, but a closely-related variant)
6. "No, We're Not There Yet" Disease
5. "You Still Don't Have Your Jammies On?" Syndrome
4. "But If You Knew You Had To Go Potty, Why Didn't You Say So?" Complaint
3. "Where's The Sodding Remote?" Disorder
2. "I Told You To Put Away Your Toys An Hour Ago!" Condition
1. "You Girls! Stop That Screaming!!" Syndrome

Sign me up for the meds. And note to Child Protective Services: It wasn't my fault!

UPDATE: Speaking of things that are good for what ails ya, the Missus brought home an early "Father's Day" present this weekend consisting of a bottle of gin, a bottle of tonic water and a fistfull of limes. Am I the luckiest guy in the world or what?