I'm Steve the LLamabutcher, and I'm a google-chumming traffic whore

But you knew that already.

The question is, though, how much of a google-chumming traffic whore am I?

Sometimes even I am afraid to find out:

WHY NOT JUST ASK? Ace New York Times reporter Patrick Healy delivers a big scoop on the Clinton family marriage. Take this shocking revelation:

Since the start of 2005, the Clintons have been together about 14 days a month on average, according to aides who reviewed the couple's schedules. Sometimes it is a full day of relaxing at home in Chappaqua; sometimes it is meeting up late at night. At their busiest, they saw each other on a single day, Valentine's Day, in February 2005 -- a month when each was traveling a great deal. Last August, they saw each other at some point on 24 out of 31 days. Out of the last 73 weekends, they spent 51 together. The aides declined to provide the Clintons' private schedule.

Atrios wants to hit the hypocrisy button and wonders where the articles are pondering the sex lives of prominent Republicans. Frankly, I'd like to know why Healy can't just drop the silly insinuations and faux investigative methods. Both Clintons have official spokespersons, just ask them how often Bill and Hillary have sex. When they don't say, you can run a nice juicy headline like "Clintons Stonewalling on Sex Frequency Issue," or, to repeat a classic Monica-era format, "Clintons Dogged By Sex Frequency Questions," as if these things just come out of nowhere. If you're not going to ask straight-up, or even write clearly what you're talking about, then what's the point of all this?

Bill Clinton, check. Monica, check. Hillary, check. Doggie, check. Sex frequency, check. Madeline Albright naked, naughty albino assassin, velveeta, Dodge Durango, three-way, peg-legged Pirate, avast ye mateys, Rocket Roger Returns to Sawx, Da Vinci Code sucks, check.

Serious, serious, personality disorders vented anonymously via my blog, CHECK.

Yips! from Robbo: Better keep off the meds for the next few days, pardner, cos Bobgirrl is calling us out.

YIPS from Steve-O: Ah, a new challenge, one fraught with potential diplomatic difficulties. Stevie likes.