Beach Observations

Mrs. LMC had a few hours of Junior League stuff, leaving yours truly to mind the Future ROTC Scholarship Recipient and his seventeen month-old sister. The Virginia Beach boardwalk was the natural venue to while away a few hours with the weather being warm, sunny, and breezy. A few random observations:
1. The hard-body babes were out in force running, biking, roller-blading, and playing beach volleyball. God bless 'em. Fine examples of American womanhood.
2. UFOs (unidentified frying objects) were out as well. One must take the good with the bad.
3. Thong underwear is not the same as thong beachware, particularly for UFOs. Understand the difference-the rest of us will appreciate it. (See also #5)
4. "Body art" does not improve with age--if anything, quite the opposite, particularly for women as gravity and childbearing take their relentless toll.
5. Gals contemplating two-piece beachware need to ask themselves one simple question: "Do I have the body to pull this off?" If the answer is anything other than an unequivocal "yes", go with the one-piece-there is no dishonor in it. If you are not sure, do not put the man in your life on the spot by asking him-you may not like the answer and he sure won't like giving it.
6. Some pregnant women can look good in a two-piece, most cannot. (See #5)
7. Fathers in public with children and without their wives will get brownie points, a kind word or two, and even a smile from the hard-body babes and other citizens. Mothers in public under similar circumstances will not. Grumbling about it will not help.
8. An unspoken fellowship exists among parents in public with small children. When someone else's kid has a meltdown, you know with certainty that your time will come and you will not have to wait long.