Television in Berlin will never be the same. After the World Cup ends
this summer, GBS (The Goering Broadcasting System) will role out their new prime time lineup, featuring the new hit drama "Vierundzwanzig" (yes,I looked it up) starring James Blunt as super agent Theo Stoller. The first German TV show ever done in real time,it will follow Stoller as he tries to thwart terrorists who are plotting to ruin the German economy by planting a strain of the deadly "barley and hops virus" at the Becks Brewery. In what will be the longest day of his life, Theo, with the help of Teutonic beauty and fellow agent Fraulein Chloe, races the clock in an effort to avoid a disaster that will forever alter the landscape of the German Rhineland, and doom the rest of the world to the unimaginable fate of having to drink tasteless, watery, domestic beer. The Dresden Daily News says "vunderbar, we give it Three and 1/2 Stars of David" while the Frankfurt Plain Dealer proclaims "Broadcast TV hasn't been this thrilling since "Monday Night Genocide" was moved to cable". (I think a German Jack Bauer is great idea. Theo can play the rouge agent and walk around Berlin CTU yelling " verdammitt" and "schnell" and some guy named Helmut could come in from division and try and straighten him out, but Theo would do things his own way and in the end, save the day. My genius sometimes frightens me.)

For an episode where no one was killed (there wasn't even a shot fired during the entire hour)last night was still riveting. Tony is officially dead, although Jack, nor anyone else for that matter, seems to care. ( I'm pretty sure the whole "lets get out of CTU and live a normal life" plan of Tony and Michele didn't quite work out as they envisioned. I wonder who Tony willed his Cubs beer mug to?) Henderson, after killing Tony and despite being in a coma and paralyzed, managed to escape before the lockdown took full effect.(I think he got away on an official TJ Lavin signature bicycle. Beside Alton's startling Barry Bonds like growth, the best part of the Gauntlet at this point has to be TJ's blatant stupidity. Last nights highlight was referring to Randy as the Rookie Team "VIP" after he put the bike together. Maybe the American league could give Big Papi the "VIP" to make up for last years mistake.) Luckily Chloe was able to decipher some of the logs on his computer and come up with the name of a terrorist who was nice enough to tell customs she was staying at the Courtyard Marriott. (She probably saw the add for Marriott's "Triple Terrorist Reward Points" promotion while she was staying at the Damascus Residence Inn earlier in the week.) While Jack and Curtis set out to find her (Curtis is so terrified of Jack he does whatever he tells him to at this point), Homeland security prepares to take over at CTU. Miles, after a brief struggle with Chloe ("I asked your name,not who you worked for") settles in at Edgar's desk. It's very funny when, just as he finishes wiping off the donut powder and throwing away all the Drakes Coffee Cake wrappers, Chloe adds him to the wet list and then plays hide and seek with him behind her computer monitor. I love Chloe.

While Jack is making a deal with Theo, Gabriela Sabatini is arriving at Bierkos safe house in the bright red Lexus sports car she bought after winning the French Open. (I guess Marwan used up all the "terror vans" last season.) If I was a terrorist I would prolly try and keep a lower profile, but in "24" land it's either a van, box truck or sportscar. All that's missing is the "Terrorist on Board" bumper sticker. The highlight of the night had to be Gabby stepping out of the car and practically being molested by Bierko's men while getting patted down for weapons. She actually seemed to enjoy it, but still. If they included the "Female Terrorist Pat Down" as an extra in the "24" Video Game, it would easily top "Super Mario Brothers" as the all time best selling video game. (Personally I would prefer the option of having Chloe running around in the pouring rain wearing a white tee shirt, but my therapist said that's one of the things I probably shouldn't be sharing.)
Where was I? ..Oh yeah. Gabby supplies Bierko with the schematic to the distribution center and when asked for the password she says "Big Boy"( not really, but I love that commercial) and heads out to meet Theo at the airport. Theo , meanwhile , realizing he has met a kindred spirit in Jack, asks if he has ever been in a similar situation. Jack, knowing what Theo is going through sympathizes, saying " if you mean have I ever been involved with a freakishly tall woman with a funky nose whose eyes are too close together, then yes, yes I have".