February 24, 2006


As our long time regular reader knows, I've been bellyaching about work now since July---things have gone from bad to worse to just downright ugly. Last week, I felt complete anger simmering right at the surface, but that's gone; now, I'm just feeling not much of anything. Can't concentrate worth a damn, and don't really care if I don't.

As much as a complete moron Charlie Brown is for keep trying to kick the ball, knowing that Lucy keeps pulling it away, there was something hopefull about the act in a weird, romantic sort of way. You don't admire Charlie Brown for just walking away and taking up a different sport. But what if Charlie did just that? Would he cease being Charlie?

I've never quit anything in my life. Somethings I've stopped or given up when I've topped out (for example, the clarinet in 5th grade), but never anything which mattered or something I gave an adult commitment to. I don't exactly know when I fell out of love with my job, but it's long enough now that I realize it that I can't remember what it was like to actually love it, feel like I was doing it well, and feel that it was appreciated. Obviously, there's a lot more to it than that, but the point of this is not to complain about my employer in a specific public way, but rather just to let out a barbarian scream out my blog window.

(Oh, and yes, I realize I've just written a pretty good description of being depressed. I've got a network of folks I talk to, I'm careful about the diet/sleep/ exercise connection and all the good CBT flags. My family is a tremendous source of love and support, and this is not manifesting itself as a I'm dissatisfied with life itself sort of thing.)

Posted by Steve at February 24, 2006 10:56 AM | TrackBack

Welcome to my world, Steve-O.

Posted by: The Colossus at February 24, 2006 11:21 AM

Have to say I wish I had something useful to say, cause then I could apply it to myself as well. Right in that same boat, unfortunately. If nothing else, the bunnies (post above) are always good for a laugh and screams out the blog window are good too. The rest, well...fingers crossed for ya!

Posted by: beth at February 24, 2006 11:23 AM

To tell you the truth, it is a wonder to me that such fine bloggers as you and Robbo aren't paid to do this full time. When you think of some of the morons that are (coughOliverWilliscough) it is, frankly, disheartening.

Where is the great patron on the right who will fund our photoshops, snark, and hit pieces? Who is our Soros? I used to think that by now I'd be well ensconced in the warm, conspiratorial embrace of Richard Mellon Scaife's millions, but alas, I still toil away in the workaday world. To what end, I ask? Certainly no good one.

Hell, I can't even get BlogAds to acknowledge my existence.

Posted by: The Colossus at February 24, 2006 11:56 AM

I don't know which is sadder -- that you once loved your job but now hate it, or that I've felt that way about my job from day 1.

Oh, well, at least I don't have to contemplate quitting mine anymore.

But seriously, I know of which you speak, and you're in my prayers.

Posted by: Brian B at February 24, 2006 12:03 PM

I think it's the screenwriter in you trying to break out. Let it out, Steve-O! Dare to put it in ink!!! Give Ben Affleck a reason to work again . . . write that CHiPs movie, brother. Write it.

Posted by: Chai-rista at February 24, 2006 12:36 PM

This is always good for the Soul:


Posted by: LB Buddy at February 24, 2006 03:01 PM

You are not alone. I often feel "why the hell should I bother" as I bang away doing the all-important for the seemingly ungrateful. Every now and then, usually out of the blue, one of my clients will say "thanks" (it is almost always one of humble means). It means even more when one of my soldiers says it. That keeps me going until the next time.

Posted by: LMC at February 24, 2006 03:54 PM