February 21, 2006

Kids These Days. They're Young.

The Crack Young Staff of the Hatemonger's Quarterly take on one of my favorite objects of scorn today:

Like any reasonable people on God’s green earth, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” despise teenagers. And we do not, we hasten to add, despise teenagers with the typical laxity and good cheer of the average citizen. Rather, we loathe these 13- to 19-year-old irritants with an undying passion.

Perhaps you are wondering why this is so. Frankly, if you aren’t entirely sure, we’re willing to bet that you’re either preternaturally forgiving or brain dead. And we’re betting on the latter.


As I was sitting through last Saturday night's reading of Romeo & Juliet, I couldn't keep from saying to myself, "Star-cross'd lovers? No, dumb-ass kids. And that evident stoner-hippy Friar Lawrence isn't much better with his Rube Goldberg fake death stunt."

Geh. The eldest Llama-ette turns eight in a couple weeks and I already have a Drudge-like siren flashing in my head to warn me that I have precious little time left to prepare before she turns into one of Them.

Posted by Robert at February 21, 2006 04:09 PM | TrackBack

But you can turn headaches into laughter with just a few simple tools.

a shotgun and a shovel mounted on the wall along with an insistance that you meet any courting boys the lamaettes bring home should bring tears of joy to your eyes.

Posted by: Big Mac w/ an Egg at February 21, 2006 04:15 PM

Overnight I went from Most Favorite Uncle to persona non grata. Bored on Thanksgiving, I suggested taking my niece to a movie, forgetting that being seen with me in public is a horrifying & possibly life-ending faux pas.

So I switched to antagonizing them. She's currently horrified after I told her I was going to come over to have my sister shave my back during her birthday party

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 21, 2006 07:07 PM

That is just, like, SO wrong.

Posted by: TheRoyalFamily at February 22, 2006 12:58 PM

Hell, I knew R&J were idiots back when I was in college.

before The Lad was born and we discovered his gender, his now-godfather suggested that if my child be born a girl, i purchase a Louisville Slugger and have it engraved with the nickname "Abner Doubledate".

Posted by: Brian B at February 22, 2006 01:46 PM