January 22, 2006

U.S. Navy seizes...wait for it....wait for it....a pirate ship!

Avast ye mateys!

Needless to say, it was the USS Winston Churchill that did it.

The USS Jimmy Carter was in the area, but decided to convene a multinational study group headed up by the Dalai Lama and featuring Johnny Depp on the impropriety of western "orientalist" constructs of "piracy" in a manner disparaging to culture and society on the Barbary Coast in the early American Republic. A full apology for Jefferson's illegal actions against what was characterized in the racist AmeriKKKan press as the Barbary "pirates" is expected upon the conclusion of the Carter study, sometime in 2009, after meetings to study the problem in San Juan, Honolulu, Majoraca, and St. Kitts. Kojo Anan will be the staff director.

UPDATE: Chief Mojo is on the same Barbary wavelength.

Posted by Steve at January 22, 2006 01:08 PM | TrackBack

Piracy is not a joke - people are killed every year.

Posted by: Zendo Deb at January 22, 2006 02:36 PM

Zendo Deb - The joke isn't piracy, the joke is Jimmy Carter and the rest of Dems.

Of course the Churchill will act, but the real question is: Did they have enough cigars for the whole crew.

Posted by: Marvin at January 22, 2006 03:30 PM

According to the tenets of my church, this means more global warming.

Posted by: Brass at January 22, 2006 04:11 PM

Brass is right, there is a direct inverse correlation between the number of pirates and the average earths temperature. But I am just in it for the beer volcano and stripper factory.

Posted by: LB Buddy at January 23, 2006 08:46 AM

I've got a lot of sympathy for the crew of the USS Jimmy Carter. Considering the flack they probably catch, I'll bet they're some of the toughest, most experienced barroom brawlers in the entire Navy.

Posted by: utron at January 23, 2006 12:56 PM

Beer volcano and stripper factory?

My gawhd, they've found the lost isle of Atlantis indeed!

Posted by: Steve the LLamabutcher at January 23, 2006 03:12 PM