April 12, 2005

"You Pitch The Tent - I'll Slaughter The Lamb."


CNN reports that a teddy bear manufacturer is coming out with a line of foot-tall talking Biblical dolls.

Perhaps I just haven't had enough coffee yet and I'm sure I'm going straight to hell for it, but I can't help channelling G.I. Joe. Forget the Biblical verses, I think the dolls should use modified Joe-speak. What are the odds that Jesus will come equipped with Kung-Fu Grip? And the rod of Moses really ought to have a launchable head.

The article says that the company plans to roll out five Biblical figures per year in the future. Personally, I can't wait for the Salome doll. The cat-fight possibilities between her and the Llama-ettes' cohort of Barbies are endless.

YIPS from Steve: I'd put a fiver on the Magdelene--she'd kick Barbie's ass up and down the street, and twice on the sabbath.

Seriously, though, I think this doesn't hold a candle to the "Football Jesus" Bobble-Head:

football jeebus.gif

Violate what, three of the Ten Commandments with one easy order of $14.95, plus shipping.

UPDATE: Welcome Jawaphiles!

UPDATE DEUX: Goldstein's got full-length pics. Who knew there was a salon on Sinai?

Posted by Robert at April 12, 2005 10:22 AM

heh heh, i like the salome doll. head of John the Baptist sold separately
a BLUE-eyed Jesus??????
buckle your seatbelts; someone's going to develop a hernia over this one

Posted by: mom at April 12, 2005 11:38 AM

Heh. We picked up an old Children's Illustrated Bible somewhere or other that must date back to the 40's. Jesus looks like a Viking in that one.

Posted by: Robert the LB at April 12, 2005 11:44 AM

If you would like scarier toys, look at the video games used as recruiting tools for the military.

Posted by: Collin Baber at April 13, 2005 01:20 AM
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