October 20, 2004

Pour Robert's Almanac

Just a quick update on the Mr. Coffee front, for those of you who chimed in yesterday - I tried pouring water directly into the cup and got some spillage. So I'm rather inclined to think our extremely brainy correspondent George is probably on to something with his basic hydrodynamics explanation.

If this is the case, then it strikes me that there is something of a design flaw in the product. The spout ought to be longer and narrower in order to increase the flow speed. Obviously, Mr. Coffee is an inferior product. But I suppose Jen and I will just have to suck it up. While I heartily agree with Mr. Enoch Soames, Esq., that Krups makes a superior machine, new coffee-makers aren't in the Llama budget at the moment.

As for Triticale's suggestion that I borrow a page from the Nazi coffee-making playbook, all I can say is, "Ew."

Then there's Matt Navarre. If I take his advice and just shotgun straight from the pot itself, I just may find myself having a Cornholio Moment:

Aaaarrgh! I am Cornholio! I command that you blog more exploding condiments! Raaaagh!

Uh, oh. Cup's empty. Better go get some more......

Posted by Robert at October 20, 2004 08:28 AM | TrackBack

After some additional research, I found an article that confirms my hypothesis.

Her invention is to use a bump near the lip of the spout. It speeds up the fluid flow at the crucial moment of pouring. That sounds awfully familiar. (Her bump has the added bonus of acting as a barrier when you stop pouring.)

She also mentioned that tea has a higher surface tension than water, which might be the same for coffee, but I would have assumed the opposite, since most additives tend to decrease the surface tension. But I don't know much about materials engineering, so I'll just take her word for it.

The really ass-chapping part of all of this is that Ms Damini Kumar is apparently licensing this device, which took her who knows how many hours of "maths, engineering and fluid dynamics" analysis, while I apparently get nothing. (Well, I get a cool mention on Llamabutchers, which is great, as far as it goes, but I assume there's no money in it.)

"I do want to be free," she explained. "I have two other ideas in the developing stages that I would like to carry on with."

I, too, would like to be free. So, if you have any additional nagging problems that need fixing, please let me know immediately. This lawyering gig is starting to get me down.

Posted by: George Gaskell at October 20, 2004 12:54 PM

My 2 cents: dump the drip coffee maker, and pick up a French press (they were on sale for about $12 at the local Barnes & Noble).

Best. Coffee. Ever. And no spillage problems.

Posted by: Scout at October 20, 2004 01:26 PM

For my coffee making needs I go where I go for my power tool requirements: Black & Decker.

Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin at October 20, 2004 01:46 PM

Mmmmmm....Black & Decker....Mmmmmmmm

Posted by: Robert the LB at October 20, 2004 02:03 PM

I have to agree with the French Press idea, but I use that for tea exclusively so as not to contaminate the flavor of the tea with coffee.

And so I will just have a sponge in hand to wipe the spillage of the coffee from my inferior Mr. Coffee pot.

Posted by: jen at October 20, 2004 02:05 PM

That was evidence that coffee making gear outa be kept clean, not an invitation to model yourself in any way after the particular taker of coffee seriously whom I mentioned.

As for myself, I drink ice cold Royal Crown Cola.

Posted by: triticale at October 20, 2004 10:00 PM
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