March 09, 2005

Somebody needs to ask Sandy Levinson

if showing Gigli: The Director's Cut constitutes torture in violation of the Geneva Convention.

I'm asking because Beautiful Atrocities is en fuego with suggestions to AQ on who to kidnap now that the plot to nab Russell Crowe falls through.

Hint: it includes Ben Affleck and Kelly Ripa.

BTW, can you imagine if Haji got the instructions wrong and tried to kidnap Kurt Russell instead?

I mean, it could produce some interesting moments

(scene shifts to a cave somewhere in Pakistan, farting camel sleeping in the corner, protagonist walks in, sneering, in handcuffs and black leather pants)

bin Laden: PLISSKEN! I thought you were dead!

In the immortal words of that great western neo-Platonist "I pity the fool."

Posted by Steve at March 9, 2005 03:11 PM

Tim Robbins is my choice. Spend a week in a cave with that sonofabitch lecturing you and Osama will come out begging for Rove's forgiveness.

Posted by: The Colossus at March 9, 2005 03:35 PM

Crap, I forgot Adrienne Barbeau!

Posted by: jeff at March 9, 2005 03:39 PM

Jeff, by now pretty much everybody's forgotten Adrienne Barbeau.

Posted by: utron at March 9, 2005 04:55 PM

Whatever you do, Osama, please don't kidnap Michael Moore. Please don't. It would bring America to our knees. Kidnapping Michael Moore, who's won an Oscar, would destroy our entire politico-entertainment industry.
BTW, anyone got MM's address. Just to be sure he's safe, and that Al-Qaeda doesn't try and kidnap Michael Moore.

Posted by: RobertJ at March 10, 2005 09:58 AM
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