January 24, 2005

Birthday Parties From Hell

Alert reader Dave S., commenting on my weekend ranting about kiddie birthday parties among the Boomer Elite of Northern Virginia, pointed me to this post by Mr. Outer Life chronicling his own recent descent into Party Perdition in Southern California. Ah, yes - the Bouncy.

In my fuming about this past weekend's party, I forgot to mention that the hosting parents evidently had instructed the Help to record the whole thing on camcorders. As a result, about every ten minutes I had a nanny or housekeeper pointing one of these things at me and my Llama-ette and making gestures encouraging us to demonstrate how much fun we were having. This included an obligatory farewell shot in which, as I was trying to guide my five year old down a set of icy steps, we were both expected to turn, smile and wave. (At the cameras, that is. Neither the host, the hostess nor the birthday boy were anywhere near the door.) Needless to say, I did nothing of the sort, shooting an icy look and a tight-lipped smile into the lens instead. We'll probably get chopped from the Commemorative Edition of the party DVD.

Posted by Robert at January 24, 2005 10:57 AM

a cam-corder for your buh-byes on the icy steps without greet-ee's even poking heads through the narrowly opened storm door??
as my pa used to say, miste all chrighty!
and people used to cringe at having to think in five seconds of something witty to write in a guest book.
o tempora! o mores!

Posted by: mothe at January 24, 2005 11:08 AM

One of my older brothers imposed a "no-birthday" rule after similiar excursions into birthday party hell with his elder daughter. My parents' idea of a birthday party was a cake, served as dessert after dinner. Candles were blown out while the birthday boy (boys in my case) were serenated with "Happy Birthday" sung by siblings and parents. It was over when dessert was cleared from the table. No bouncy, no bowling balls, no clowns, no video, and no b.s. Sounds like the template for how birthdays will be celebrated for the Future ROTC Scholarship Recipient and his little sister.

Posted by: LMC at January 24, 2005 02:53 PM

I would've flipped the camcorder the bird. Yeah, happy birthday, kid.

Posted by: Marjorie at January 27, 2005 11:02 AM

Oh....this is probably why my kids aren't on the birthday party circuit -- we get invited to about five the entire year but they are all actually friends not class-mates. This is either a downside or an upside of homeschooling.

Posted by: Marjorie at January 27, 2005 11:05 AM

Those are some beautiful pictures.. God bless you all

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Posted by: Jon at August 4, 2005 08:53 PM
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