Okay, Okaaaay!

Mirthful Sadie says we've got to do it. So here goes:

Three names you go by:
The Roberator
Slick (True - given to me by some drunk gorilla who swerved to elbow me in the shoulder near Metro Center the other evening)
DAAAAAAAaaaaa-aaad!!!!

Three screennames you have:
Robert the LB
Glenn Reynolds (Really! It's true!)
Bearded-Spock-Universe-FrankJ

Three things you like about yourself:
I've got that drooling under control now.
My ability to communicate with chipmunks.
I'm not just fresh, I'm Downy Fresh.

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
That I'll never break the 3 minute mile.
Left Brain/Right Brain disagreements frequently end in bloody nose.
Super power? Refridgerator reorganization.

Three parts of your heritage:
Scotch
More Scotch
Can I get a couple more ice cubes?

Three things that scare you:
Count Floyd
Hillary
Mutant Flying Piranhas

Three of your everyday essentials:
Coffee
Wine
More, please

Three things you are wearing right now:
Spider-Man undies.
A pirate eye-patch
"Chaz for Men"

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
Snoop Dogg (I was wrong! He's a genius! How could I have been so blind?)
That dorky Asian guy on that TV talent show thing. Whatever happened to him?
LONE SERIOUS ANSWER: Helen Forrest with Benny Goodman

Three of your favorite songs at present:
Suds In The Bucket - Sarah Evans
Corn Silk - (See above)
The Great Big Book of Everything - Stanley and Friends

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Sleep would be nice.
[This entry deleted by order of the Ministry for Not Getting In Dutch With The Wife]
Actually being funny.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Complete absolution from all responsibility involving the kitty litter.
Less talk, more rock.
Just once to be met at the door with a pipe, a martini and a pair of slippers.

Two truths and a lie:
One is the loneliest number.
The mass of yoghurt actually increases once it leaves the container and gets on the child's face.
I'm not really wearing Spider-Man underwear.

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
Aw hell, it's easiest just to say "all of the above".

Three things you just can't do:
Dance.
Find Waldo.
Fathom Paris Hilton.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Beating the children.
Counting Liz Taylor marriages.
Matchstick recreation of downtown Newark.

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Land this post well enough that I can walk away from it.
Ditto.
Ditto.

Three careers you're considering:
Attorney. (Wha-? I'm one already? D'oh!)
Arbiter Elegantarium in the manner of, say, Dick Cavett or George Plimpton.
Cabin Boy.

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Bed.
Bath.
Beyond.

Three kids names:
"Whoever You Are" - (Actually used)
TIMM-AUUGGGH!!!
LaShanTra (our youngest)

Three things you want to do before you die:
Win the Irish Sweepstakes
Succeed to the Throne of England
Find and destroy the evil One Ring.