Schaubenfraude

If schaubenfraude is the act of taking delight in the on-screen pain and misery of Ben Stiller, as well as the taking delight in the box-office bombing of yet another Ben Affleck movie, what exactly is the philosophical state of watching Renee Zellweger make an arse of herself?

I'm not sure, exactly, but Sheila's right in front, throwing popcorn at the screen at the latest loaf of Bridget Jonz. That, and she's anticipating the joyful disaster that Alexander should prove to be (personally, since the movie is directed by Oliver Stone, I'm looking forward to what sort of CIA/ Mossad/ Illumanit/ IRS/ Papacy/ Microsoft/ Starbucks/ Sammy Hagar led Van Halen conspiracy he can cook up for the early demise of the hero. That, and the old dude who played the old (non-gay) Zoro trying to channel Ptolemy, not to mention Captain von Trapp, picking up the guitar, and strumming some new lyrics to the tune of "Edelweis" about the oligarchy being the corrupted form of aristocracy, and how the blended constitution is best. His Aristotle should prove to be as buff as Richard Harris as Marcus Aurelius in Gladiator. Ishtar with War Elephants, bay-bee.

They should have went with Vin Diesel.

UPDATE: In the "gee, that's not really fair" category, our old pal the Unabrewer is bitchslapping Ben Affleck with the ghost of Steve McQueen. Definitely not a fair fight.